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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

357 replies

friendlyflicka · 16/08/2020 12:31

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

OP posts:

Pumperthepumper · 16/08/2020 12:36

I’d honestly go to the papers about the driving school and I don’t say that lightly. They can’t promise to keep young women safe, other young women need to know that.

ListeningQuietly · 16/08/2020 12:40

speak to your mp
speak to the council
speak to the press

Sunflowerlover20 · 16/08/2020 12:42

So is he still working for the company as self employed? If they are still employing him like that then I would say to them they are responsible as well as they are still letting him work and you intend to put their names out there!

Vodkacranberryplease · 16/08/2020 12:42

Give them an awful and very detailed one star review on google and trustpilot. Trust me you will have your money back and an apology from the owner before you know what is happening!

Minister01 · 16/08/2020 12:43

Same with above.

Demand a refund as you've got the press involved.

BameChange123 · 16/08/2020 12:44

Go to small claims court to get the money. Check your household insurance to see if you can get legal assistance (or Union if you are in one or Employee Assistance Programme if you have one). Your daughter won't be the first young woman that this predator has assaulted. Yes to Police following up.

GrumpyHoonMain · 16/08/2020 12:45

Go to the BBC / Daily Mail

Sayitagainwhydontyou · 16/08/2020 12:47

Do you have the response from the driving school in writing? If not I'd send a follow-up email detailing the conversation and asking for confirmation. Ask them how they intend to protect future students from assault. Ask them about their safeguarding policy.

When they inevitably don't respond satisfactorily, tell them you're very disappointed in their response, and you're fearful for the safety of other students. Say that because their response has been so lacking, you're going to have to go to the local media in order to protect further students. At this point they'll likely give you the money. Take it, and then go to the press.

Alternatively, post on twitter ".@drivingschool did absolutely nothing about one of their teachers sexually assaulting my daughter, and refused to refund her the course she was forced to cancel for her own safety. Currently under investigation - avoid at all costs" and get as many people as you can to retweet it.

SmudgeButt · 16/08/2020 12:48

How did she pay and who did she pay?

If by credit card she may be able to get a refund via the card company.

If she paid the school and they then paid the instructor then the contract is with them not the instructor and the school should refund (& disassociate themselves from the twonk immediately as he will ruin their business)

RainbowDash101 · 16/08/2020 12:49

That’s terrible. I had similar pervy driving instructor when I was 17 😡 and really don’t want the same thing to be happening when my dd is learning to drive.

wowfudge · 16/08/2020 12:50

If she paid the driving school her contract is with them whatever their arrangements with the instructor. Letter before action with a view to making a small claim if they don't refund the money. You'll find templates online. Pursue the assault with the police.

Gancanny · 16/08/2020 12:51

I had a driving instructor who did this to me. Hand on my thigh to demonstrate how hard to press the pedal, "jokey" stories while driving about various sexual escapades, telling me to pretend the gear stick was a dick and to be firm enough that it's fun/not so hard that I hurt it. It was awful and was interspersed with comments about how it's more difficult to teach women to drive because we take longer to grasp the fundamentals, "too busy thinking about shoes and what to cook for dinner hahaha"

The driving school didn't want to know, tried to spin me the same spiel about drivers being self-employed and then hung up on me. I emailed them so I had my complaint in writing/a paper trail and then followed it up with a second phone call the next day. I told them that they were the company my contract/transaction was with and as the company, they were answerable for the conduct of their drivers and it was their name on the side of the car. I said that if I was not refunded for my lessons then I would make a formal complaint to the DVSA, would proceed with a harrassment complaint to the police, and would leave brutally honest reviews on every driving lesson related forum I could find starting with their Facebook page and the residents group where they frequently advertised. They refunded me. I still left reviews in their FB page and the residents group and was really annoyed a few months later when I drove past him and he was still in the school-branded car giving lessons so I also made the complaint to the DVSA even though I'd said I wouldn't when they gave me my refund.

Be a squeaky wheel OP, dint let it drop until your satisfied with their response.

Gancanny · 16/08/2020 12:51

*don't and you're

christinarossetti19 · 16/08/2020 12:53

I would hold off going to the press - it's a useful threat to have up your sleeve but it's a card that can only be played once and isn't always successful.

The driving school likely aren't being truthful about the instructor having your dd's money. Who did you actually pay the money to? The driving school will have taken a cut of the fee - that's how they make their money.

Also, what did the contract that your dd had with the school say about cancellations? You suggest that the 3rd and 4th day were cancelled within the terms of the contract ie more than 24 hours before, so that should be refunded regardless of the reasons for cancelling. I would pursue that as a breech of contact in its own right through the DVSA.

What have the DVSA said or advised? Will they be investigating the centre/instructor?

Longtalljosie · 16/08/2020 12:55

Tell the driver he should refund the money as you will pursue it through the small claims court and tip off the local paper. Tell the driving school the same.

Original poster

friendlyflicka · 16/08/2020 13:01

My daughter didn't want to proceed with the police for the reason that it was her word against his and it wouldn't go anywhere. He didn't have a camera in his car.

so I contacted DVSA on Friday and apparently they respond within 10 days in 90% of cases.

The director of the driving school says the right things about safeguarding but if I suggest that he has any responsibility each financially or legally, he accuses me of threatening him. He was quite aggressive on the phone and is hard to deal with. He keeps turning the tables and saying that we are threatening him when I say I will go to DVSA. He has to have the last word in any email string.

So I have gone to the DVSA. Hopefully they will be of some help. But I just really want to know how to get back the money because he is pretty horrible to deal with. I presume he is quite strapped for cash after Covid, perhaps.

I want to use a cheap external mechanism. I think small claims court probably is the best.

OP posts:

YorkshireTeaIsTheBest · 16/08/2020 13:05

And contact MP and local children's services and report to the police she MUST do this.
Legal letter from solicitor.

scoobydoo1971 · 16/08/2020 13:06

I assume the driving school act as an agent for the instructor. They perhaps take their commission for the student, and then pass the rest to the driver. As many students will be under 18, they do have a safeguarding duty of care. Look at who the contract was between. You could take legal action through small claims online, and submit your complaints. I think this issue is surprisingly common. I had a pervy driving instructor and I only started lessons in my 40's. He used to park up quiet lanes and tell me 'stories'...he was also quite physically aggressive in his manner, lacked patience and totally inappropriate for driving instruction. He told me that he was on dating apps looking for 'easy' women, wanted to come to my place for a drink...needless to say, I found another instructor quickly. My niece had lessons with an instructor who rubbed her leg at 17...and told her she was beautiful and looked like his ex. It is dreadful these things are allowed to happen and I will always be careful when the time comes for my own kids to get lessons.

YorkshireTeaIsTheBest · 16/08/2020 13:06

@friendlyflicka

My daughter didn't want to proceed with the police for the reason that it was her word against his and it wouldn't go anywhere. He didn't have a camera in his car.

so I contacted DVSA on Friday and apparently they respond within 10 days in 90% of cases.

I want to use a cheap external mechanism. I think small claims court probably is the best.

Doesn't matter about her word -she needs to be believed and this is the starting point for the police.

Original poster

friendlyflicka · 16/08/2020 13:07

Have gone to the police. She does not want to pursue for quite obvious reasons. Lots of stress. No proof. So going through DVSA.

OP posts:

Sayitagainwhydontyou · 16/08/2020 13:07

She still needs to go to the police. It needs to be on record or the next girl won't be believed either.

Multiplying2020 · 16/08/2020 13:09

Get a solicitor to write the letters to the director, let them deal with him, it'll be worth the money.

WildishBambino · 16/08/2020 13:10

He was quite aggressive on the phone and is hard to deal with. He keeps turning the tables and saying that we are threatening him when I say I will go to DVSA.

That reaction indicates to me that it's not the first time he's been confronted with this 'problem'.

ListeningQuietly · 16/08/2020 13:12

Contact your MP

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 16/08/2020 13:12

@friendlyflicka who is your daughter's contract with? Who has she/you paid? If it's with the driving school, then they are fully responsible. What are their cancellation/refund policies? Go through everything with a fine tooth comb.

The director can bitch all he wants, if the contracts are with his driving school then he is legally and financially responsible.

Good luck to you and to your daughter.

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