Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

[friendlyflicka]

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

@GisAFag you are angry with victims for being scared/vulnerable/unable to cope with taking things further?

Not the system or the abusers?

That's pure victim blaming .

This go for all the other "MUST" posters too. OP's DD does not have to do anything she isn't comfortable with. It's her life,her assault and her mental health. The responsibility lies solely with the abuser and the company trying to cover it up.

@DishingOutDone

BTW it doesn't matter if the Driving school has a note in their contract saying you can only get a refund from the instructor, your contract is with them - the wording is an unfair term and as such is not enforceable. Its like a shop having a sign up saying "no refunds"!

Have the DVSA not offered you any advice on a refund? In any case, try the reverse payment, or start a money claim against the company to whom you paid the money.

Yep. Its unenforceable.

Your contact is with them. They sub contract out - not you. Thats their problem not yours.

They have a safeguarding liability - thats why you go through them rather than going direct to a driver as their name provides a degree of quality / safeguarding process (well thats the theory).

Their argument will not stand up in court on an issue like this.

I’d go old school and tell him I’m getting his head kicked in unless I have my money back in 24 hours. Then I’d get a couple of lads to get it back or follow through. Scumbag picking on a 17 year old girl like that.

I would consider going to a solicitor . I had to take a landlord to small claims court and the solicitor fee was only around £80 (although we did settle through mediation there were several letters issued). Find small firm with low overheads (mine was just in a room with papers everywhere but really I only wanted him for telling me how to proceed and some legal letters so that was sufficient). Maybe ask about fees. I think emotionally it is more about the principle and not letting him benefit from such abominable behaviour. Hope it is resolved.

How about the small claims court? I think you could say that he broke the contract.

@friendlyflicka

They say they are an agency. I paid first instalment on debit card and then bank transfer.

Do what Emma advised and send a strongly worded email to the company. What happened, what rules and laws were broken ,their failures and what further action you expect. If there's a complaint procedure do it through that, and keep all records. Preferably everything should be written rather than phone calls. Give them x amount of time to reply.

Contact your bank and see if they can recover the fees.

Small claims are definitely an option, but to be honest I don't know if you need to wait for the DVSA investigates to finish first.

@magicstar1

I’d go old school and tell him I’m getting his head kicked in unless I have my money back in 24 hours. Then I’d get a couple of lads to get it back or follow through. Scumbag picking on a 17 year old girl like that.

And then you'd be the one in jail/with a record/ the police at your door.

Thanks all of you so much. you have been so much help. I think I know the way forward now.

www.gov.uk/find-local-trading-standards-office

I would send an email to him stating that I will be taking the matter up with the Small Claims Court and as it was a safe-guarding issue, would be letting the local paper know that was what I was doing and why.

No blackmail, no more asking for a refund, just a statement of facts. Don't contact him by phone, then you won't have to deal with his aggression. They both sound vile I would have no hesitation doing the above. And I would do it. Your poor daughter.

I don't think it's just a refund that needs to be discussed. There's also recompense for the assault your DD suffered. That's a separate issue to any and all action involving the fee and the DVSA. That's a straightforward (?) civil claim for damages which can be pursued independently of all other action.

Presumably the instructors DBS was all in order ?

My partner is a driving instructor. Its franchise so when a pupil pays him it goes straight into his personal account, then he pays the driving school a set amount per week and they provide him with pupils contact details. So he is self employed.
If he ever has to give a refund it's a transfer from his account to the pupils the driving school wouldn't have anything to do with it. If it's the same set up then it's the instructor you would have to go after for the money. I guess via small claims court

Sorry, forgot link

www.gov.uk/criminal-record-check-become-driving-instructor

I would tell him that you've reported to Police and every hour you wait you will make another social media post asking other women to come forward. Then when he refunds in full I would do social media posts asking others to come forward - he will be doing this CONSTANTLY - these perverts always do.,
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/driving-instructor-army-veteran-sexually-20874574
www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/disgusting-driving-instructor-touched-abused-17873615
www.thesun.co.uk/news/6028902/driving-instructor-sexual-misconduct-learner-drivers-dvsa/

Follow GanCanny's advice. How it's done.

I'm glad your DD was brave enough to tell you and her boyfriend. Please encourage her to follow up with the police.

I feel for you and your DD. What a shit situation.
Don’t think it’s only men though. I’ve been driving for nearly 40 years and when I was learning I had a woman who was a predator. She would pull her top down or get her boobs out under various pretexts (such as her boobs got sunburnt, look at them), kept badgering you into touching them, asked intimate questions, suggested meeting up for clubbing and so forth. I complained bitterly to my parents who just didn’t get it as I don’t think they had the concept of a woman as a predator.

@HoppingPavlova

I feel for you and your DD. What a shit situation. Don’t think it’s only men though. I’ve been driving for nearly 40 years and when I was learning I had a woman who was a predator. She would pull her top down or get her boobs out under various pretexts (such as her boobs got sunburnt, look at them), kept badgering you into touching them, asked intimate questions, suggested meeting up for clubbing and so forth. I complained bitterly to my parents who just didn’t get it as I don’t think they had the concept of a woman as a predator.

It's still more likely to be blokes, though.

I’m so sorry this happened. Aged 17 my driving instructor was the same: hands constantly on my legs, questions about whether I had a boyfriend, constant innuendo. He was at least mid 50s. I didn’t know what to do so I just grinned and bore it for months. Eventually stopped lessons altogether and didn’t start again until my late 20s as the whole experience put me off.

Huge well done to your DD for telling you and to you for supporting her and showing her she’s done the right thing in telling you. Taking it further and going to the police getting a refund shows her what happened to her was wrong. If you had done nothing it would have reinforced that it was okay for him to do that? Even if nothing comes from anything you have taught her it was wrong and to ask for help and that’s the greatest thing you could have done for her.

Same happened to my friend. This is why I found a female instructor :( so sorry for your DD hope she’s ok x

I actually meant to post my own experience.

Started lessons over 30 years ago, first instructor a similar perv. I was getting stomach aches before each lesson (he was also verbally abusive and shouted at me). Stopped driving, and only picked it up again 5 years later when I knew I'd need to be able to drive for a new job. New instructor a great bloke and I passed first time.

I would suspect there are loads of women who could tell tales about their instructors.

This seems more common than people realise .There was a piece in the paper some while ago with similar experiences to your DD.As others said report and make a fuss! Maybe have a look for some nice lady instructors?

How depressing that this happened to so many of us. When my first instructor put his hands on my knee the second time I made some excuse and quit lessons. I wish I'd been strong enough to tell someone and follow it up. I just brushed it away and regret it now. Well done op for pursuing it, these perverts need to know they can't get away with it.

I had the same issue when I was 17. Asking me if I had a boyfriend, did I do oral etc Took me years to pluck up the courage to start learning again, after I'd found a lovely female teacher. I told her my story and she said nearly all her female pupils had come to her due to bad experiences with male instructors.

@magicstar1

I’d go old school and tell him I’m getting his head kicked in unless I have my money back in 24 hours. Then I’d get a couple of lads to get it back or follow through. Scumbag picking on a 17 year old girl like that.

You aren't seriously suggesting that the OP resorts to that are you?

The stupidity of some people is absolutley astonishing. You know this is a grown up discussion board not facebook don't you?