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AIBU?

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Original poster

Predatory driving instructor. Daughter wants refund. Help!

357 replies

friendlyflicka · 16/08/2020 12:31

If anyone has experience of how to proceed with this I would be so grateful.

My just 17 year old daughter booked to go on an intensive driving course and paid more £1000 up front. As far as i knew we were booking through a driving school which seemed businesslike etc.

My daughter came back after the first day, visibly shaken. At 11 pm that night she asked if I or her boyfriend could go with her the next day. At 8 am - she was due to be picked up at 9 - she told me she couldn’t face going with him in the car. That he had been very ‘touchy’ and then she told me a string of very inappropriate comments he had made all sexual throughout the day.

I have no doubt that she is telling the truth. That is not my issue at all. And the emotional issue and toll on my daughter - can handle this as well: we are.

I contacted driving school and said that she would not be proceeding and then sent email detailing the instructor’s behaviour. The reply was that it was my daughter’s word against his and that he would speak to the driver the next day.

I rang the police for some advice because I didn’t know whether this was a civil matter. They were keen to press further, They said as a safeguarding issue they needed to speak to the driving school

The driving school absolutely absolved themselves of all responsibility for either the safeguarding or financial issues: the instructor was self employed: he had my daughter’s money.

I have made a complaint to DVSA about all issues. My daughter is upset but wants her money back. And just wants to start again: found a nice local instructor.

How do I go about things? I am dealing with the safeguarding through DVSA hopefully. But how do I recover her money. She was booked for 4 days: day 1, he allegedly assaulted her. Day 2, she cancelled after the 24 hour policy. Last 2 days she should be refunded whatever the results of any safeguarding enquiry.

Please tell me how to proceed. Purely in a financial sense to recover her money.

OP posts:
seayork2020 · 22/10/2020 00:04

If there is a contract stating specific details about refunds then I would take it they still apply and you can't just get out of it because of the driver's behaviour

yes we can say morally they should refund but legally not sure they have to and contracts (even unsigned not 'proper' ones) such and reading terms and conditions or any other type of contract and paying on that then wanting a refund does not work on morals be legalities?

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 22/10/2020 00:07

yes, refund should come from individual instructor, according to the t&cs. I thought this was intuitively wrong but after a fight, if i go for the instructor, how do I get his contact details since it was not him i booked with?

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 22/10/2020 00:08

I need these contact details for small courts, if i am giving up on the company itself

OP posts:
Elsewyre · 22/10/2020 00:09

Does he have an internal camera the police could request.

You wont get far without any evidence (no newspaper is setting itself up for libel over this)

Elsewyre · 22/10/2020 00:09

@friendlyflicka

I need these contact details for small courts, if i am giving up on the company itself
Ask the company for them.

Or call him, your daughter will have his number

ColleagueFromMars · 22/10/2020 00:14

You know the name of the instructor don't you - you found his details on Companies House?

So I wonder if he has any published accounts on companies House for his self-employed business? Linked in/ Facebook/ Google / register of instructors?

Send to him c/o the driving school's address?

lifecouldbeadream · 22/10/2020 06:01

Companies House should have the address. If not shown in the listing, check the individual filings. Then check Electoral roll to make sure he’s still at same address. You may need to visit council office to do so.

Mulderitssme · 22/10/2020 06:10

Are you in the Cheshire area by any chance? I supported someone through the court process that had been through this same experience. The driving instructor had made numerous sexual comments and groped her thigh. He ended up being found guilty. The driving school initially did nothing about the accusations but as a result of his conviction, he was no longer able to work with those under the age of 25.

Please pursue it with the Police.

malificent7 · 22/10/2020 06:13

Why do these men still have jobs? I was 30 when I learned and he still made a pass at me ( even though he was married).

Zagziggirl · 22/10/2020 06:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Florencex · 22/10/2020 06:31

When you said you found the instructor on Companies House, did you mean he used to be a director of the driving school agency? Or do you mean you found his own business that he works through the agency with?

If I have read the thread correctly, the T&C states that refunds need to come from drivers, in which case I agree it is him you need to take to court. Also what did the terms say about cancellation generally, so if say she had just decided not to proceed for no particular reason, what are the rights to refund? I am asking for reasons of financial damage limitation, if she does not get anywhere with DVSA or the police.

CovidStoleTheRainbow · 22/10/2020 06:35

If it gets really desperate I would suggest booking with them again, asking a male friend that lives nearby to book with him, try and get his details that way.

It's a roundabout way, but I don't know what else to suggest.

Does she have any correspondence at all in an email such as "you are now booked in on August 1st 2020 with Mike." Thank kind of thing?

CovidStoleTheRainbow · 22/10/2020 06:36

If he works independently, he might advertise outside the company so start looking that way.

Also post on your local FB group. Ask around, others may have used it. Others may have been sexually assaulted by him.

Does she know what car her drove?

Doryhunky · 22/10/2020 06:52

I had the same from my driving instructor. Can you send legal letters c/o the school?

Florencex · 22/10/2020 06:57

@Doryhunky

I had the same from my driving instructor. Can you send legal letters c/o the school?
OP would have to get court permission to serve papers using a work address. They would only get this if they can prove they have taken all steps to find the residential address, e.g. used a tracing agent. They would in any case need the residential address later on anyway otherwise the judgement would be unenforceable.
ikeptgoing · 22/10/2020 07:06

OP ring the local children services department as she is 17 this is alleged sexual abuse of a child under 18. Report it. Social workers will interview her and support you to safeguard her (leave the refund/money thing separate / out of this)

He will then get a file with children services and they can collate information about him

This is separate investigation to the criminal charges or investigation, and her word against his doesn't matter In children services as they are required to listen to child. Police should have notified them

If you get no respond report via complaint to local child safeguarding board which you can look up on internet if you type in name of your county then child safeguarding board

Elakiya · 22/10/2020 07:09

A very similar thing happened to me when I was 18. I had no idea what to do. I confided in my cousin who had recommended him and she said “well he didn’t touch me” 😞. I come from an Indian family who like to keep this sort of stuff quiet and I wasn’t allowed to report him. I was 18 and naive and stupid. Please don’t do what I did. Please report him, if it’s happened to your daughter it will definitely happen again

NotFrozen · 22/10/2020 07:12

OP was your daughter given a contract with the driving school or some paperwork with terms and conditions?

NotFrozen · 22/10/2020 07:16

The reason I ask is if the contact is with the driving school, then it doesn’t matter if he’s not their employee. That’s their problem. The best recourse would be against the school for breach of contract. There was an implied term in the contract that he would use reasonable care and not sexually harass a child!

NotFrozen · 22/10/2020 07:17

Sorry- just realised these points have been dealt with upthread

flaviaritt · 22/10/2020 07:27

Obviously this is horrific for your daughter, but I’m going to go against the grain a bit. If the instructor denies this I can see why he isn’t issuing a refund.

I think when it comes to the time, I’ll have my DD using the record function on her phone or even wearing a body cam during sole driving lessons. It’s just too much of a risk of ‘her word against his’ (or hers).

sixswans · 22/10/2020 07:37

You're right, it is her word against his, but at least they have a record of it now, because when the next woman puts in a complaint, and the one after that, there is a clear pattern of behaviour evident. So sorry your daughter went through this

dayswithaY · 22/10/2020 07:45

Slightly off topic but I had a landlord who failed to return my student son's deposit. It was a block of flats with a management company and the landlord was buried under different company names who all claimed not to be responsible. I was like a dog with a bone - public embarrassment is the key. I wrote a stinking Google review warning students about the company and got everyone I knew to "like it". I badgered the property manager and told him I was talking to a C4 producer about them for an investigation programme. All lies but they paid up as I made it clear I wasn't going away. Play dirty if you have to, your daughter is a victim.

This happened to me with a driving instructor but I said nothing as it was the 1980s. How depressing that this is still happening. Don't give up.

flaviaritt · 22/10/2020 07:51

Also, do be careful about putting this information into the public domain as opposed to reporting to police. It may open you up to a defamation claim if not done through proper channels and if it affects the DI’s ability to do business.

TatianaBis · 22/10/2020 07:59

Have you told the company that they have a choice either to give you the details of the particular instructor or you will sue the company instead?