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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have sex in someone else’s house?

231 replies

LuluBellaBlue · 16/08/2020 00:26

Is this ok?

Surely if you’re not seen or heard, and leave no trace then I don’t see what the problem is.

Inspired by thread Grin

OP posts:
Hangingover · 16/08/2020 07:12

even in my own house I pop to the loo

How romantic

Also some of us get ranging cystitis going straight to sleep

AgileMadness · 16/08/2020 07:16

For the PP saying it's disrespectful / grim / bad manners etc, does that include guests staying for a week or more, as some posters have suggested?
If it's a holiday for your guests, that sounds rather restrictive and I doubt your guests will feel relaxed if they knew what your "rules" were, regarding that.
I dare say, in calling it 'disrespectful' it sounds more like the host's issues around sex, than the guests, who are just being normal adults

strawberrymilkshakemonkey · 16/08/2020 07:16

i honestly don't get the issue at all. someone on the other thread was saying it's 'disgusting and disrespectful' - what? why? beds are literally for sleeping and sex. so long as youre not super noisy (if you have kids or housemates this is a concern at home anyway) and wash the sheets/strip them (as is normal after staying somewhere anyway) what's the issue? seemingly there's a lot of prudish nuns on mumsnet.

draughtycatflap · 16/08/2020 07:17

@Beefcurtains79

Being rogered over a wooden bench in a wildlife hut while a group of bird watchers suddenly appear on the path outside tends to cause a hasty retreat. Husband may or may not have attempted to cover our tracks by muttering something to them about local wildlife with a huge stiffie bulging his shorts out. 😂

You’re lucky it wasn’t children, how fucking grim.

😂😂😂

Grim and think of the children all in the same sentence. Mumsnet bingo!

😂

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 16/08/2020 07:26

You weren't burned at the stake then and there, @draughtycatflap?

I hope you cleaned the bench.

Sexnotgender · 16/08/2020 07:26

@Hangingover

even in my own house I pop to the loo

How romantic

Also some of us get ranging cystitis going straight to sleep

Exactly. Can’t think of much less romantic than lying in a pile of spunk eitherConfused

Fucking grim.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 16/08/2020 07:28

@Beefcurtains79

Being rogered over a wooden bench in a wildlife hut while a group of bird watchers suddenly appear on the path outside tends to cause a hasty retreat. Husband may or may not have attempted to cover our tracks by muttering something to them about local wildlife with a huge stiffie bulging his shorts out. 😂

You’re lucky it wasn’t children, how fucking grim.

Say's BeefCurtians.
pigeonfarts · 16/08/2020 07:32

It's fine of you have guests over for a few days- that's expected, but to do it when you're having a BBQ or something is very inappropriate.

draughtycatflap · 16/08/2020 07:32

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

You weren't burned at the stake then and there, *@draughtycatflap*?

I hope you cleaned the bench.

Cleaned it? Surely even the Puritans out there aren’t offended by hand and knee prints.
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 16/08/2020 07:32

I have been on MN too long.

Doesn't anyone here use the sex towel anymore?!

Hangingover · 16/08/2020 07:35

Can’t think of much less romantic than lying in a pile of spunk either

Also is you shag on DHs side then it's his issue Grin

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 16/08/2020 07:37

Sex is not a need

Oh yes it is, or the human race would have died out before it got going.

FippertyGibbett · 16/08/2020 07:42

No.

takenbywine · 16/08/2020 07:43

No, never! There's always a time and place. You may think know one could hear you but trust me sex is heard no matter how quiet you are! I'm not an animal and I have self control. Don't get me wrong I love sex but I'm not socially inept. it's just I think anyone who can't control themselves over sex are no different to animals in my eyes.

Shesapunkpunk · 16/08/2020 07:46

@MysteriesOfTheOrganism

Sex is not a need

Oh yes it is, or the human race would have died out before it got going.

It is absolutely not a need Have a little think about what you just said. It is not good
Rebelwithallthecause · 16/08/2020 07:49

It is not good?

I feel sorry for you having never had good sec Grin

Rebelwithallthecause · 16/08/2020 07:50

I am another one who needs to pee after send it I get cistitis so I’ve never left a mess

Even if I didn’t need to owe after sex no way do I want the feeling of it dripping out of my over night

NameChangedInCaseImGrim · 16/08/2020 07:51

My late, incredibly prudish, MiL presumably expected people to have sex in her beds as she used to put an extra sheet folded in quarters over the mattress and the mattress protector but under the actual bottom sheet at pelvic level.*

But what's really troubling me is: do all the people who think it's grim and disrespectful and (somehow) leave whopping crusty patches** on the sheets and mess everywhere etc. change their own sheets every time they have sex?

I've always been a once-a-week sheet-changer regardless of famine or feast, as it were.

*Yes yes... before the traditional nit-picking starts:

A) it might not work for exceptional differences in height, although the area covered would have probably been okay for 95% of the population, as long as...

B) ...said sex is being had in the missionary position. I think it was quite something for her to - however obliquely - admit sex existed, let alone that people might do it in other positions.

** How do these enormously huge and crusty patches occur? Male ejaculate varies between 0.1 to 10mls (isn't that where 10CC got their name?) averaging about 3.5mls. Less than a teaspoon on average, then.
Is this some weird stealth boast about the absolute load some posters' DPs produce and/or the utter tidal wave produced by some very well lubricated females?
That's grim, imo.

Shesapunkpunk · 16/08/2020 07:56

@Rebelwithallthecause

It is not good?

I feel sorry for you having never had good sec Grin

Was that to me? It just sounds a little incel or rapey for my liking.
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 16/08/2020 08:01

Goodness.

I'm reading @NameChangedInCaseImGrim's post like...

To have sex in someone else’s house?
KarenFitzkaren · 16/08/2020 08:12

Don't people wash the sheets guests sleep in? Can't see the problem having sex in someone elses house personally.

RiteAid · 16/08/2020 08:19

I wouldn’t care if anyone else had sex in my house, as long as I couldn’t hear them and they didn’t make a mess. I’ve had sex in my parents’ house and my in-laws’ house. I probably wouldn’t have sex in a friend’s house (unless it was massive) because I’d worry they could hear me.

NameChangedInCaseImGrim · 16/08/2020 08:20

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

Goodness.

I'm reading NameChangedInCaseImGrim's post like...

Smile

I do have a science-y background.

Great name, btw.

Butchyrestingface · 16/08/2020 08:21

I have puritanical tendencies and I wouldn't bat an eyelid at the idea of guests having it off in my house.

And yes, I would partake as a guest in someone else's. 🤷‍♀️

JinglingHellsBells · 16/08/2020 08:33

This is a spin off from that other thread on Relationships isn't it about 'failed sex' at the in laws?

My take on it is you can have sex if you are 100% sure you cannot be heard, seen or leave any evidence behind that you have.

I don't think it's polite/ good manners to rub your sex life in anyone else's face.

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