To want and expect an apology

[LEA0304]

So Monday night as I'm putting our 1 year old to bed my partner comes back from the shop shouting about why is their a glass in the car. I had been at work all day and the car had been on the car park. I was completely baffled as to what he was on about. As I went down stairs asking just that he was stood with a pint glass in his hand. So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers. I'm not really one to get into arguments so after denying any knowledge (I really don't have a clue) I went to walk away at which point he SPAT in my face! I was really shocked he did that and went upstairs to see to our son. I was really angry and at that point wouldn't of minded if he left but he didn't. I completely ignored him the rest of the night even when he started being really nice and trying to talk to me. The next day he was back to normal and Iv been off with him ever since. I want some remorse from him, at least an apology. Surely that's not unreasonable???

Rubbish, of course the pint glass matters! As someone else suggested, it smacks of a "set up". Either to suggest you were having an affair or that you're a raging alcoholic. If you run a pub have you ever given one of the regulars a lift home or something - one explanation could be that they sneaked a glass out of your pub to finish in the car and then left it under the seat or something? Extremely far-fetched, though, and highly unlikely. If you know you didn't put it there and it can't possibly havec been put there by anyone else and he is the only other person who could have had access to the car, then it must have been him.

I think he wants to leave but doesn't want to appear to be the bad guy so has engineered this scenario to paint you in a poor light. He has been panicky as he's accused you and so gone over the top in his fake reaction. Totally disgusting and unforgiveable. He is a dangerous man.

Nothing could make me stay with a man who had so little respect for me to spit in my face. And more than once?! Throw him out. He's a bad person and he has no respect for you. He's disgusting

Scumbag behaviour

Honestly OP, aim higher.

I would suggest working on your self esteem. If you haven't already packed his bags and started divorce proceedings then that would be an excellent start.

I'm echoing everyone else in saying get rid.

As for the glass, presumably either you, your son, or your partner would have had to put it there. You obviously haven't, your 1-year old son obviously hasn't, who does that leave us with?

Op, you realise this is abuse, right? Spitting is someone's face is disgusting, and horribly humiliating.

Is he often like this?

Jesus OP, that's pretty much on list of "can't come back from "
Please don't ignore this abusive contempt

@CurlyhairedAssassin

Odd post. It's a given that he's a twat and that you should leave him, but I'd also want to know where the fecking pint glass DID appear from? All too odd.

He could have just been using it in order to gaslight op, or give him an "excuse" to have a go at her.

If he wanted a row, it is conceivable that he would make up something to trigger one.

He may have been trying to goad her into a reaction.

He may be the one having an affair and using this to twist things onto op.

Perhaps op had "dared" to go out without him/somewhere he perceives she shouldn't have gone, so he was punishing her and using this as his "ammo"

Perhaps he was using it as a "I'm watching you" warning to her.

Never underestimate the willingness of a DV perp to "plant" things and make up things to satisfy their need to perpetuate abuse.

100% he brought the glass home. I would bet my life on it.

He spat in your face- and he will probably do it again or something even worse. Apology or not this wouldn’t be a salvageable relationship after that if I was in your shoes.

he probably planted it there

you said you dknow know he shold aaccept that-spitting at you is the lowoest of the low

dont*

Odd post. It's a given that he's a twat and that you should leave him, but I'd also want to know where the fecking pint glass DID appear from? All too odd.

Yes because everyone knows when you're having an affair you both have a quick pint before getting down to the shagging. Or drive around having a few swift pints while you find the appropriate dogging spot.

He put the glass there and then behaved so badly he hoped that you would walk out.

He's engineering things so he gets residency and the house, because he's primary carer.

He's playing mind games, because women who are being emotionally abused usually behave irrationally and then they can 'prove' they are the victims.