To want and expect an apology

[LEA0304]

So Monday night as I'm putting our 1 year old to bed my partner comes back from the shop shouting about why is their a glass in the car. I had been at work all day and the car had been on the car park. I was completely baffled as to what he was on about. As I went down stairs asking just that he was stood with a pint glass in his hand. So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers. I'm not really one to get into arguments so after denying any knowledge (I really don't have a clue) I went to walk away at which point he SPAT in my face! I was really shocked he did that and went upstairs to see to our son. I was really angry and at that point wouldn't of minded if he left but he didn't. I completely ignored him the rest of the night even when he started being really nice and trying to talk to me. The next day he was back to normal and Iv been off with him ever since. I want some remorse from him, at least an apology. Surely that's not unreasonable???

Someone once spat in my face and I pressed charges against them. I would rather be punched. It’s the single most degrading experience of my life.

Believe me, if he gets away with spitting in your face, and making wild accusations, it will escalate.

I repeat. It will escalate.

You must end the relationship.

he is vile, as others have said walk away from this relationship, it is not a normal way to behave

do you really want your son growing up seeing this sort of action towards his mum, to think its normal, and thinking it is an acceptable way to treat a woman that way?

please leave, if you need help contact womans aid; www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

@SunshineCake

I don't think this is what the OP was expecting. Such a shame her bar is so low that she thinks an apology makes up for being accused of cheating and spat at.

Agreed. OP, if you're still around, I hope you are safe and have support from family / friends. I hope you listen to what posters have said and throw this bastard out, for your sake and that of your DC. I notice a pp linked you to Women's Aid - please contact them, when it's safe to do so.

Jesus Christ I would never stay with a scumbag like this.

You’re raising your child in an environment where someone spitting in your face is fine, as long as they apologise afterwards.

They’ll be so fucked to when they take what you’ve taught them into the real world.

Spitting on someone is considered a form of assault by the police. This is NOT normal behaviour in a relationship, OP....

It’s one of those rare times when all posters seem to be in agreement... Spitting in my face would be a deal breaker for me too.
What a rancid turd he is.

WOW I thought maybe I'd only get I or 2 people interested to reply, feeling a little overwhelmed now. So to answer a couple of ur queries;

• we are not married but engaged, we've been together 7 years and have a 1 year old.
• this is the first time he's spat at me.
• he's not usually abusive, he's a very temperamental person lately like stroppy.
• I run a pub and I reckon that's why he put the glass and cheating together.
• he is a stay at home parent.
• and no he's not mentioned it since.
• I still have absolutely NO IDEA where the glass came from.

Well you have a small child now so maybe now he views you as 'trapped' with him, so he can do things like spit in your face.

OP I would be absolutely devastated if anyone I loved stayed with someone who SPAT in their face. Please reconsider leaving your relationship. It is really not ok, and neither is anything he has done after it either.

I mean to say please CONSIDER leaving your relationship! Fffin typos, don't stay with this man

Shocking, how are you feeling about it all now OP?

You own a pub - having a pint glass in the car is entirely plausible and not really something I'd question.

The alternative is he planted the glass to fabricate an argument.

@NoWordForFluffy

The alternative is he planted the glass to fabricate an argument.

Yes, I'd thought this. He was clearly looking to provoke or engineer an argument. Shouting loud enough for the neighbours to hear, then spitting at you when you wanted to walk away?

Decent people don't ever spit at anybody in peacetime. It's such an extreme thing to do. I too think this is not the first time he's been nasty or disrespectful to you.

You deserve so very much more my love. At least he's shown you who he is so you don't need to waste any more time on him. Please believe him and walk away. 💐

What's the situation with your home?

What was the situation that meant he was the SAHP?

What he actually physically spat in your face?

I also don’t understand what an apology does here If he did. There is no coming back from this. The man spat on you. End it.

That is absolutely disgusting OP. If you don’t get rid you are condoning his disgusting behaviour.
What a disgusting excuse for a man.

My first husband spat in my face so many times. Reading this, people saying you should leave made me sad and wished I had left the first time it happened. It never gets any better.

He's done it more than once???

The first time would be the only time for me, let alone multiple times. It's rare I say this but I would be packing his bags and get rid of this poor excuse for a man.

If you do decide to stay then you must consider he may do this to your child.

@LEA0304

WOW I thought maybe I'd only get I or 2 people interested to reply, feeling a little overwhelmed now. So to answer a couple of ur queries;

• we are not married but engaged, we've been together 7 years and have a 1 year old.
• this is the first time he's spat at me.
• he's not usually abusive, he's a very temperamental person lately like stroppy.
• I run a pub and I reckon that's why he put the glass and cheating together.
• he is a stay at home parent.
• and no he's not mentioned it since.
• I still have absolutely NO IDEA where the glass came from.

Once is too often. That is such an abusive degrading assault. Please get RL support to leave.

Why are you posting about the pint glass? Don't have such low standards. Being spat at is awful. How can you be ok with this?

You're a victim of domestic abuse yet you're asking complete strangers online how to extract a worthless apology? What if you saw your son behaving this way to his girlfriend in 17 years? Would you encourage her to stay in the relationship? He's a "SAHP?" Raise your standards,dig deep and find some self worth and kick him out

LTB
This is domestic abuse, and not just the spitting bit. It’s hard to realise while you’re in the middle of that though :(
Apology in this context will mean nothing.
Please think about your little one and consider leaving.