To want and expect an apology

[LEA0304]

So Monday night as I'm putting our 1 year old to bed my partner comes back from the shop shouting about why is their a glass in the car. I had been at work all day and the car had been on the car park. I was completely baffled as to what he was on about. As I went down stairs asking just that he was stood with a pint glass in his hand. So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers. I'm not really one to get into arguments so after denying any knowledge (I really don't have a clue) I went to walk away at which point he SPAT in my face! I was really shocked he did that and went upstairs to see to our son. I was really angry and at that point wouldn't of minded if he left but he didn't. I completely ignored him the rest of the night even when he started being really nice and trying to talk to me. The next day he was back to normal and Iv been off with him ever since. I want some remorse from him, at least an apology. Surely that's not unreasonable???

Out. There is no excuse for this. I can't believe a partner would even think of doing this, no matter what you had done (and you haven't done anything). Its over.

He spat in your face, attempted to shame you in front of the neighbours by loudly accusing you of cheating.

As someone who has been in relationship where your boundaries of what is normal gradually get worn down, I feel the need to say that your boundaries of what is acceptable have been worn down.
I know you realise he as done wrong, but I don't think you can really get just how bad this is.

I wouldn't want an apology, or anything else to do with him, that's assault, there is no going back from that he'd be out.

Leave him.

Does he have an alcohol problem? It sounds as though he's looking for an excuse for a fight so that he can go and get pissed with his brother and it'll all be your fault.

There is no coming back from spitting in your face.

He needs to leave and go to his brothers!

This is the worst thing I have ever read on here, and that is saying something. The only course of action you need to take is to throw this creature you call your 'partner' in the bin with the rest of the rubbish and never look back. What an utter, utter prick

He SPAT at you?

Bad enough at any time - but now, in this horrible pandemic, that is beyond vile.

Really - wrap up your baby and leave. he will never get any better.

Spat at you?! Report him, someone just got sentenced for spitting at somebody, Covid etc.

Your minimising this mans abuse- this man is your DC role model, is this what you want him growing up to be viewed as normal . So as long as he apologises spitting in his mothers face is ok- Go and get RL support

Kick him out. No one should be treated like that.

I’m really sorry but also I think he’s cheating and wanted an excuse to blame you. Are you sure he wwas planning to go to his brothers? Or was he manufacturing a reason to get out to an OW?

Sadly, partners who accuse you of cheating out of the blue are usually cheating themselves.

OP value yourself more than you are currently doing.

All of the advice has been to leave - it’s rare I see this. You need this man out of your life. He is disgusting and things will only grow worse.

Hopefully you will leave

First of all I'm so sorry he spat at you, it's fucking repulsive behaviour.

Reading your post it feels as though you are tired of him and being at work all day and you have a 1 year old. Is he at home looking after your baby while you're at work?

Any normal person would ask why the pint glass was there in a lighthearted way? It definitely feels as though he is guilty and is projecting.

Please consider whether you want to carry on allowing this arsehole to treat you so badly, you deserve so much better, so does your child. I'd start planning to get rid of him, ASAP.

If my husband spat in my face, there would be no coming back from that. OP, you’re worth so much more. Leave this abusive relationship and find someone who respects and values you.

That would be the end for me.

You need to rustle up some self-respect because there is no way you should be sharing your life with this uncouth pig. Leave him to find someone who shares the gutter he inhabits; he's not for you.

I don't think this is what the OP was expecting. Such a shame her bar is so low that she thinks an apology makes up for being accused of cheating and spat at.

Eh no, I could forgive a lot but never being spat at - shows total lack of love and respect. Get rid, it will only get worse.

LEA, his vicious behavior is truly beyond the pale. The fact that your remedy is a mere apology suggests that you have normalized his abuse. How long have you been enduring this brute?

In your shoes, I would find a way to remove him from your lives. I wouldn’t expose my child to this destabilizing home life and toxic relationship model.

What responses do you want people to give you OP?

You obviously don't see this as a big issue which is why you are asking for an apology rather than kicking him out.

He accused you of cheating. Then he spat in your face. And your waiting for an apology? - get real he's not going to apologise because he thinks he's done nothing wrong!

Most people would have apologised straight away and their mug of a partner would have believed them and forgiven them until next time - but you've not even had that!

You're involved with a disgusting little sack of shit aren't you? You shouldn't be expecting an apology. You should be dumping him for being foul and treating you with a total lack of respect.

Decent men do not spit in people's faces. Ever. Only abusive ones do that. If you can't leave today (or make him leave) then at least start making a plan to get away from him.

You and your child are worth more than this sorry excuse for a man. Don't waste more time on him.

@babycakes1010

What a cunt....get rid!

Succinct and to the point. I totally agree.

OP are you ok? Do you have someone IRL you can talk to?