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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want and expect an apology

164 replies

LEA0304 · 15/08/2020 14:27

So Monday night as I'm putting our 1 year old to bed my partner comes back from the shop shouting about why is their a glass in the car. I had been at work all day and the car had been on the car park. I was completely baffled as to what he was on about. As I went down stairs asking just that he was stood with a pint glass in his hand. So now he's shouting for all the neighbours to hear asking who have I had in the car and how "he'd suspected something for a couple of weeks now" and so was going to his brothers. I'm not really one to get into arguments so after denying any knowledge (I really don't have a clue) I went to walk away at which point he SPAT in my face! I was really shocked he did that and went upstairs to see to our son. I was really angry and at that point wouldn't of minded if he left but he didn't. I completely ignored him the rest of the night even when he started being really nice and trying to talk to me. The next day he was back to normal and Iv been off with him ever since. I want some remorse from him, at least an apology. Surely that's not unreasonable???

OP posts:
timesareachanging · 15/08/2020 14:58

I don’t think you can come back from this OP.

Spitting in your face is just vile and abusive.

Surely this is not the first instance of him being abusive?

gamerchick · 15/08/2020 15:00

I wouldn't be coming back from someone spitting in my face OP. It's utter contempt.

Mittens030869 · 15/08/2020 15:02

I agree with PPs. He sounds vile and clearly has no respect for you. You should kick him out.

vanillandhoney · 15/08/2020 15:04

He spat in your face and you're more concerned about getting an apology?

JammyGem · 15/08/2020 15:04

Disgusting. You don't need to put up with that OP. LTB.

gabsdot45 · 15/08/2020 15:04

I don't know you but you can do better than this.
Don't settle for such an abusive jerk.

1forAll74 · 15/08/2020 15:04

Unhinged people like this don't apologise for anything. He sounds like a nasty suspicious individual.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 15/08/2020 15:05

GET FUCKING RID!!!!!

ExclamationPerfume · 15/08/2020 15:05

Pack his bags. How could you stand to be near him again?

pudcat · 15/08/2020 15:05

He is looking for something to blame you for. He could have put the glass in the car. He is maybe having an affair and wants to make it all your fault.

Ohtherewearethen · 15/08/2020 15:08

Yep, that would be it for me. There's no going back after someone shows such disrespect. How could you even bear to look at him after he

  1. Accused you if bring unfaithful
  2. Shouted at you, let alone in front of your neighbours
  3. Threatened to leave away to his brother's, where he no doubt would have turned the air blue about you
  4. Spat in your face. He. Spat. In. Your. Face.

Disgusting doesn't even come close.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 15/08/2020 15:12

The best thing for you and your dc is to throw him out.

Beautiful3 · 15/08/2020 15:13

Please leave him op. He SPAT in your face!!! That's disgusting and you know it.

SRS29 · 15/08/2020 15:15

@Nottherealslimshady

He spat in your face and you're worried about an apology?
This
LouisBalfour · 15/08/2020 15:16

An apology? Please set your sights higher than the gutter and throw this abusive man out. Do you want your child to be brought up with such a dysfunctional adult in their home? There is no coming back from being spat at.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 15/08/2020 15:16

ExP spat in my face. Of all the physically abusive things he did, I still remember that as the worst, much worse than the blood & bruises.

It's utterly degrading. OP, you need to think about leaving. It won't get better. An apology won't change anything.

TheReynoldsPamphlet · 15/08/2020 15:18

Why do you want an apology, OP?

What difference would it make?

There is no excuse, apology, remorse, whatever that makes abuse okay. Which is what this is - as a pp said, if someone did this on the street they'd be looking at an assault conviction.
He is a vile, disgusting, degrading, abusive man who clearly has zero respect for you.
I'd be looking to throw him out, not an apology.

Redwinestillfine · 15/08/2020 15:18

Time to draw that line in the sand

PegasusReturns · 15/08/2020 15:20

Leave him.

Really.

Spitting in your face is a disgusting thing to do. If a stranger did that, it would be a police matter and at the serious end of a common assault.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 15/08/2020 15:20

Leave him as soon as you safely can!

He spat in your face - there is almost nothing more designed to humiliate a person than that.

GlassMarble · 15/08/2020 15:21

He spat in your face?!!!!

Why on earth would you do anything other than kick him out?!

He assaulted you.
You are in an abusive relationship.

FizzyGreenWater · 15/08/2020 15:22

I would never, ever forgive that.

Tell him to get the hell out and report him for assault. Because that is what spitting is!

FlySheMust · 15/08/2020 15:22

He assaulted you and you still let him live there? Get him out.

TheQueef · 15/08/2020 15:22

Nothing more to say because this fucker has enough contempt for you to spit at you and in your face.
Over a glass.
If he had caught you legs akimbo on the kitchen table with the window cleaner it's still a step too far.
Fucks sake, he spat in your face woman!

DowntonCrabby · 15/08/2020 15:23

An apology?!

I’d want a divorce!

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