To feel judgmental over actor Chris Pratt playing golf 4 days after his wife gave birth?

[QuarantineDream]

Obviously I'm BU in the sense it's none of my business but I'm a fan of his movies and this has kind of soured how I feel about him.

If I'd just had my first baby and my husband fucked off for a day of golf (it's not a short game is it?) I'd be devastated, even with all the help she's no doubt getting from family/staff etc.

Also can you just imagine if it had been the other way round and it had been Katherine who'd left her newborn for a day at the spa? The comments on her Instagram would be brutal. Barely an eyebrow raised on his...

@Butchyrestingface

You don’t have to wait! There’s loads and loads and loads of research out there about absent, unloving, distant fathers and the effects it has on children as the grow up. And arguably, not being arsed about your four day old because they’re not interesting enough is a solid start down one of those paths.

I’m agreed we disagree we as to what parents nipping out for a few hours when their baby is 4 days old portends for the future.

Me too! I’m also glad I see fathers of babies as actual fathers, not nannies - although I’m sad we disagree about that.

What an odd thread. She's the daughter of a millionaire, and probably is surrounded by cleaners, nannies and housekeepers, doubt she is doing much work at all. He has gone golfing, she might have a hairdresser at home and a beauty therapist (not to mention a PT). They obviously are very far from the world where most MN posters live (the real one). I don't see why all the anger.

I see fathers of babies as fathers too and not nannies, but I still don't see why they can't pop out for a few hours. Loads of threads remind women to have time for themselves too, which often helps them to feel able to parent at their best. I know the baby is only four days old (often reminded by the bold font) but as pps have said at that stage they probably don't get as much out of it (the babies) than having daddy around more later anyway as long as their needs are being met.

And if the baby is breastfeeding and the mum literally can't be away from the baby, there's not an awful lot for dad to do (he can do the nappies etc when he is there the remaining 20 hours or so)

Me too! I’m also glad I see fathers of babies as actual fathers, not nannies - although I’m sad we disagree about that.

I don’t see fathers as ‘nannies’ either but do keep attributing to posters views they’ve never expressed in order to showcase your apparent moral enlightenment. It’s such an instructive style of debate.

@HopelessatHousework

I see fathers of babies as fathers too and not nannies, but I still don't see why they can't pop out for a few hours. Loads of threads remind women to have time for themselves too, which often helps them to feel able to parent at their best. I know the baby is only four days old (often reminded by the bold font) but as pps have said at that stage they probably don't get as much out of it (the babies) than having daddy around more later anyway as long as their needs are being met.

And if the baby is breastfeeding and the mum literally can't be away from the baby, there's not an awful lot for dad to do (he can do the nappies etc when he is there the remaining 20 hours or so)

He could just be with his tiny kid. Just be with him! That’s all. I’d say that’s what most fathers of tiny babies want - although maybe not, after reading this thread where babies are shit boring and who gives a fuck about being with them when they’re tiny so long as they have permission from the Chief Parent (the mother) about being able to escape the tedium and play golf.

@Butchyrestingface

Me too! I’m also glad I see fathers of babies as actual fathers, not nannies - although I’m sad we disagree about that.

I don’t see fathers as ‘nannies’ either but do keep attributing to posters views they’ve never expressed in order to showcase your apparent moral enlightenment. It’s such an instructive style of debate.

So’s being sarcastic so you can avoid acknowledging a point.

Anna Faris probably smiled smugly on seeing the snaps "leopards don't change their spots"

He could just be with his tiny kid. Just be with him

What constantly? For some random amount of time? The mother too? You’ve both got to sit there with the baby between you gazing at them, and just being with them?

Well ok, that’s fine, crack on, but do accept others have a different view.

Can't remember how many days,because it wasn't an issue but my DH played a couple of times during all his Pat leaves
If I hadn't been able to manage without him he obviously wouldn't have gone but I was perfectly happy for him to play

@Bluntness100

He could just be with his tiny kid. Just be with him

What constantly? For some random amount of time? The mother too? You’ve both got to sit there with the baby between you gazing at them, and just being with them?

Well ok, that’s fine, crack on, but do accept others have a different view.

At four days old? Yes, I’d say both parents wanting to be with their four day old is normal. Or at least, I would have done before this thread.

It’s not like she needs his help. She’ll be sitting on her bum while the nanny looks after the baby and the housekeeper looks after the house. Surprised that people don’t already dislike him for abandoning his cat, dog, first wife and child with special needs.

So’s being sarcastic so you can avoid acknowledging a point.

What point?? That I see fathers as ‘nannies’? I’ve confirmed I don’t see them as nannies.

And I would be equally unfussed if either parent went off a round of golf whilst the baby is 4 days old. Assuming the mother is up to it, of course.

Actually, in honour of this thread, I think BOTH parents should nip off for a round of crazy golf and leave the sprog to be babysat by wolves. 🥳

He mistreated his dog as others have pointed out.
He seems like an idiot to me.

Well this is awkward.

I was being facetious with the screen time comment.

But there's loads of research showing that more than 2 hours of screen time a day is harmful to under 2's and arguably a mother watching TV whilst doing skin to skin is a sign that unlimited watching of unsuitable programmes will be allowed throughout childhood

@Butchyrestingface

So’s being sarcastic so you can avoid acknowledging a point.

What point?? That I see fathers as ‘nannies’? I’ve confirmed I don’t see them as nannies.

And I would be equally unfussed if either parent went off a round of golf whilst the baby is 4 days old. Assuming the mother is up to it, of course.

Actually, in honour of this thread, I think BOTH parents should nip off for a round of crazy golf and leave the sprog to be babysat by wolves. 🥳

The research.net one - which was your argument against the science of early bonding. I don’t think there’s much else we can say to each other though, we have very different ideas about what fatherhood is. And you also have this weird idea about equality where it’s all tit-for-tat, which we’ve also had out already.

According to everyone’s favourite bastion of truth and journalistic integrity, both Chris Pratt and Anna Faris have blotted their jotters on the puppy parenting front...

@SnackSizeRaisin

I was being facetious with the screen time comment.

But there's loads of research showing that more than 2 hours of screen time a day is harmful to under 2's and arguably a mother watching TV whilst doing skin to skin is a sign that unlimited watching of unsuitable programmes will be allowed throughout childhood

That’s what Butchy does when they run out of argument too!

The research.net one - which was your argument against the science of early bonding

I have never made any comment on the science of early bonding, something I would not dispute. My sole observation is that popping out for a round of golf when one’s child is 4 days one does not portend that bonding will not occur or that the parent will make a bad father/mother.

What an OTT thread.

That’s what Butchy does when they run out of argument too!

I haven’t run out of any argument. I simply don’t agree with you.

YAbu. Forget that this is Chris Pratt and his partner who probably have "help",
It is awful full stop judging any person for doing this. What works for you might be different for other people.

@Butchyrestingface

The research.net one - which was your argument against the science of early bonding

I have never made any comment on the science of early bonding, something I would not dispute. My sole observation is that popping out for a round of golf when one’s child is 4 days one does not portend that bonding will not occur or that the parent will make a bad father/mother.

But you did dispute it - when I said that early bonding was important against the sea of ‘tiny babies are shit boring anyway, what’s to get to know?’. Your reply was the sarcastic research.net post. Hardly defending the science of early bonding!

@Gurtcha
You have no idea what my personal circumstances were

Woman complains about being judged on personal circumstances someone else doesn’t know, whilst judging man on personal circumstances she doesn’t know. The irony

Exactly! Nail. On. Head.
I mean, whut? Wonder if a little bit of self awareness is in order lol

But you did dispute it - when I said that early bonding was important against the sea of ‘tiny babies are shit boring anyway, what’s to get to know?’. Your reply was the sarcastic research.net post. Hardly defending the science of early bonding!

I’m not disputing early bonding at all. I am disputing that a round of golf at 4 days old will interrupt early bonding.

The science of early bonding is well established. The science of “round of golf at 4 days old = catastrophic break in the bonding process and/or strong indicator of shitey parenting to come”, less so. Happy to read that paper though.