Page 11 | To feel judgmental over actor Chris Pratt playing golf 4 days after his wife gave birth?

QuarantineDream · 2020-08-15T07:38:13+00:00

Obviously I'm BU in the sense it's none of my business but I'm a fan of his movies and this has kind of soured how I feel about him. If I'd just had my first baby and my husband fucked off for a day of golf (it's not a short game is it?) I'd be devastated, even with all the help she's no doubt getting from family/staff etc. Also can you just imagine if it had been the other way round and it had been Katherine who'd left her newborn for a day at the spa? The comments on her Instagram would be brutal. Barely an eyebrow raised on his...

BrieAndChilli · 15/08/2020 14:44

The things is celebrities loves are so different to ours.
Plebs like us would spend the week after having a baby, cleaning, cooking, making cups of tea, washing baby clothes, laundry, bathing baby, up all night with baby, shopping for food, take the chance to mow the lawn etc etc
All of the above things I’ve just mentioned are most probably done by a night nanny/day nanny/maid/chef/housekeeper/gardener so there’s not actually much to do except sit and look after your baby who is most likely asleep a lot of the time!
When I was on maternity DH would make me lunch or a cup of tea, or pop to the shops but if you are paying someone to do all that it suddenly frees up a hell of a lot of time!

Pumperthepumper · 15/08/2020 14:47

@Russellbrandshair

No, I thought it was normal to want to be around your four day old baby

I thought it was normal to want a small break every now and then. Newborns sleep most of the time anyway and you don’t get much interaction with them. When my kids were born I relished having a break to rest and recharge. I think that’s far healthier than pressuring people to be “on duty” 24/7 and never allowing them to have a break. That’s how PPD starts......

And that’s absolutely fair enough - you’ve just passed a human out of your body. A rest is absolutely necessary.

Not wanting to spend time with your four day old because they’re too boring though, that’s a different thing.

EllenRipley · 15/08/2020 14:48

🤣

Oh god, I love Mumsnet.

Russellbrandshair · 15/08/2020 14:52

Not wanting to spend time with your four day old because they’re too boring though, that’s a different thing

Hahaha! Good one 😆

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 15/08/2020 14:55

There’s loads and loads and loads of research out there about absent, unloving, distant fathers and the effects it has on children as the grow up.

🤣 I really don’t think that research is talking about fathers who go and play golf for a few hours.

Pumperthepumper · 15/08/2020 14:57

@Russellbrandshair

Not wanting to spend time with your four day old because they’re too boring though, that’s a different thing

Hahaha! Good one 😆

I don’t get it?

VinylDetective · 15/08/2020 15:00

@Pumperthepumper

The point of this thread isn’t whether or not the woman minds. Unless any of you seriously think the mother is the chief parent and the father is more of a nanny type figure in his own children’s lives.

Isn’t it? I thought that was exactly what all the usual hyperbole about bleeding, pain, leaking breasts, feeling vulnerable, etc was about. And because we all know that in the real world that the amount of use a father is in the first few weeks is pretty minimal.

NotYourHolidayDick · 15/08/2020 15:00

pumper you're an absolute raving nutter.

I nipped out for dinner when one of mine was days old too. I bottle fed (call the police!) and an old friend was passing through the village that I lived.

I absolutely wanted to see my friend and eat a massive burger, rather than staring at my newborn for a few more hours. DH literally spent the evening sobbed on the sofa while she slept, farted and drank a bottle.

I hadnt realised DD is now going to need therapy when shes older, and that in a failure as a parent. I will start a GoFundMe page now. Thank you for educating me!

Pumperthepumper · 15/08/2020 15:06

@NotYourHolidayDick

pumper you're an absolute raving nutter.

I nipped out for dinner when one of mine was days old too. I bottle fed (call the police!) and an old friend was passing through the village that I lived.

I absolutely wanted to see my friend and eat a massive burger, rather than staring at my newborn for a few more hours. DH literally spent the evening sobbed on the sofa while she slept, farted and drank a bottle.

I hadnt realised DD is now going to need therapy when shes older, and that in a failure as a parent. I will start a GoFundMe page now. Thank you for educating me!

But you’re the mother - you’re already fairly bonded with the baby you carried and birthed. The father is brand new to the baby - so for me, it’s totally normal to want to spend time with that four day old baby you fathered. Not for a lot of people on this thread apparently.

I’m absolutely amazed this is so controversial to so many of you. Do you really not see the fathers as equal parents? Really really?

Illegitiminoncarborundum · 15/08/2020 15:11

@Pumperthepumper

Interesting how you lack the capability to understand how someone might live differently to you.

Good luck in life if that's how you think.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2020 15:12

Do you really not see the fathers as equal parents?

Of course I do. I have no idea why that is relevant here though. What difference is less than half a day going to make (for either parent)?

SoupDragon · 15/08/2020 15:14

I mean a game of golf is what... 2 nappies, 2 feeds and a spot of throwing up interspersed with some sleeping?

LadyEloise · 15/08/2020 15:15

I don't have high standards for Chris Pratt.
I'm not surprised or bothered.
I'm sure Maria Shriver, her mother is over and there are nannies.

My cousin's "d"h was asked to give up his sport by my cousin's psychiatrist when my cousin had severe PND. Her family asked him too.
He didn't. He wouldn't.
They are still together many years later.
He's still playing but never made a national team or anything.

Pumperthepumper · 15/08/2020 15:17

@SoupDragon

Do you really not see the fathers as equal parents?

Of course I do. I have no idea why that is relevant here though. What difference is less than half a day going to make (for either parent)?

It makes a difference to the ones who find their own four day old ‘boring’, when they need ‘permission’ and the mother of their own babies doesn’t need ‘help’ - that’s the language used on this thread about men and their own babies.

Purpleartichoke · 15/08/2020 15:19

I have no respect for a man like that.

SionnachRua · 15/08/2020 15:20

"Bleating"? hmm You sounds nice.

Yep, you're bleating. It's a tad hypocritical imo.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2020 15:29

It makes a difference to the ones who find their own four day old ‘boring’, when they need ‘permission’ and the mother of their own babies doesn’t need ‘help’ - that’s the language used on this thread about men and their own babies.

No, it makes no difference whatsoever. None.

Pugdoglife · 15/08/2020 15:30

My husband headed out to play 18 holes whilst I waited for a taxi to go to hospital to give birth to our second child! He was out playing at least twice a week and wasn't willing to give it a miss while I gave birth 🙄

Pumperthepumper · 15/08/2020 15:34

@SoupDragon

It makes a difference to the ones who find their own four day old ‘boring’, when they need ‘permission’ and the mother of their own babies doesn’t need ‘help’ - that’s the language used on this thread about men and their own babies.

No, it makes no difference whatsoever. None.

Why not?

NameChangeNugget · 15/08/2020 15:35

Really don’t see the issue

Shmithecat2 · 15/08/2020 15:37

Meh. I don't know much about him, but there is no paternity leave where DH works, so that was that. It was fine. I just bfd, drank tea and binged box sets.

AskingforaBaskin · 15/08/2020 15:37

@Pumperthepumper

The science of early bonding is well established. The science of “round of golf at 4 days old = catastrophic break in the bonding process and/or strong indicator of shitey parenting to come”, less so. Happy to read that paper though.

Not like you to use sarcasm to make a point.

Again, we’ll have to agree to disagree. For me, not wanting to be with your tiny four day old kid because what you want (golf) is more fun is an indicator of how you see your kid.

There are a million more fun things I can think of than hanging with a newborn.

NC10101 · 15/08/2020 15:41

There’s no evidence that the baby was actually 4 days old. It could have been a week, or more

The mum might have begged him to go. He might have spent the first week doting on the baby, around 24/7, and she wanted a little break so she encouraged him to pop out for a few hours to play one round of golf.

If Jurassic World being a bad film in some way adds to this, don’t forget that Guardians of the Galaxy was a good film so, that makes him doing this a little more acceptable surely... 🤔

EllaAlright · 15/08/2020 15:45

Pratt by name...

1forAll74 · 15/08/2020 15:48

Many years ago,my late Husband went off to play tennis during my very long labour,. he then went into town to have a meal at some Indian restaurant, and then, apparently very tired, he went home about 5 miles away, and fell asleep until midday next day, and missed the birth of our Son.. It was in the days when Husbands did not generally attend the birth, but he was going to initially. But I wasn't upset at all, and it became a family joke thereafter.