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Original poster

Husband invited work colleague and son to stay

768 replies

Delatron · 14/08/2020 20:41

Just got back from holiday. Am knackered and have a mountain of washing to do. I’m working in the morning. DH has said his work colleague and son are flying back from a local airport and she’s asked if they can see us for dinner and stay over tomorrow. So one day’s notice. Then get up bloody early on Sunday to get their flight, wake us all up on the only day I get a lie in.

I mean how cheeky is this? DH has said yes. I’ve told him he can do all the beds/towels and cooking but I’m furious my chilled weekend has been taken away. He says he is just being kind and I’m so ‘hostile’.

Also the coronavirus risk? I’ve only had my parents overnight. Nobody else. We have no idea where they’ve been and whether they have been social distancing. They are not even close friends!

So am I being unfriendly and hostile?

OP posts:
Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 08:33

You might be right @MintyCedric. It’s all such short notice. Then when I put my foot down last night he said it was too late to text them and we’d talk about it in the morning. This morning:
‘So you want me to text them now and tell them they can’t stay tonight?!’

OP posts:
OliviaBenson · 15/08/2020 08:36

I don't know how you haven't lost your shit at him op. To be honest, is there anywhere you can stay tonight? He's not listening.

It's no wonder he loves hosting in general, he gets you to do all the work!

Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 08:38

I could go to a hotel I just want to be in my own home though.

I am suspicious that despite me putting my foot down he won’t send the cancellation text. I did go mad last night. I have lost my shit. I’m furious and he knows it. He’s just ignoring me. We’ll see. He thinks he can talk his way in to anything.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 15/08/2020 08:42

So he hasn’t texted her ?
If this were me I would literally be out of the door and not back for some time.
With a text saying we need to have serious talk when I’m back.
Honestly! What an absolute bully he is being.

mrpumblechook · 15/08/2020 08:44

I'd be wondering if they'd arranged this some time ago and he's told you at the last minute thinking it will make it harder for you to say 'no' tbh.

Very likely.

ItsLateHumpty · 15/08/2020 08:44

Ok OP - I'll get off the fence. He is now being a dick and trying to manipulate you.

You've said no, there's COVID. He needs to send that text ASAP and explain.

I can't re-vote though sorry so have a Brew on me Grin

TheMamaYo · 15/08/2020 08:46

Good on you for standing your ground. I'd have been absolutely furious too. Also, I think it is quite rude to invite yourself, if that is what she did.

lifeafter50 · 15/08/2020 08:46

How odd that they didn't book a hotel in advance for the night!
Probably too late now, but how about it develop a hacking cough, lose sense of taste and smell and greet them at the door coughing and holding a thermometer that you have dipped in your hot tea😀

HandsOffMyRights · 15/08/2020 08:47

No, OP, absolutely no.
He is being a dick and needs to send that text.

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2020 08:49

He seems to think he can manipulate you into this even though he knows you don't like people staying over

Does he always have to have his own way?

Eddielzzard · 15/08/2020 08:51

WTAF!!!! They shouldn't be coming for dinner either! Why is he being such a twerp? Does he have a crush on this woman? I'd ask to see the conversation so you can gauge what's really going on.

PrivateD00r · 15/08/2020 08:52

They’re flying back to the US on Sunday. They did the quarantine on arrival. We live close to Heathrow and he said she did say she would stay in a hotel and see us for dinner but he wanted to be nice and offer them a place to stay

I wouldn’t dream of inviting myself round to stay at someone’s house plus dinner for me and my child! With one day’s notice! Yet somehow I’m the rude one?

Op I think you are being a bit harsh, you said your DH invited them - so how was she being rude? Some might might have found it rude if she had insisted on a hotel!

Coffeepot72 · 15/08/2020 08:54

We also got back from holiday last night and if my DH had been suggesting we entertain guests I would have been straight back out the door.

burnoutbabe · 15/08/2020 08:55

Take them out for a meal, don't have them in your house (do you have a stand alone loo they can use, thoroughly cleaned before and after?)
Meal out would be much safer, even if it's a hotel restaurant near Heathrow etc.

Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 08:57

Thanks for the ☕️ @ItsLateHumpty!

Yes @PrivateD00r in that post I was being harsh as another poster was winding me up calling me rude. So I do take that back. I think this may have been more instigated by DH. I’m trying to work out what happened. Think she said ‘I have a flight from Heathrow early Sunday fancy dinner?’ He said ‘come and stay and have dinner’

However at this point I would have said ‘oh no I couldn’t possibly intrude in these times when you’re just back from holiday. Dinner out would be nice’.

So more him than her I’m thinking now and he is being very quick to defend her and say it wasn’t her.

OP posts:
wontspeak · 15/08/2020 08:58

I would be suspicious they were having an affair

Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 08:58

Think it’s too late for the cough idea 😫

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 15/08/2020 09:00

I don’t think this is an affair, just a DH who doesn’t think

mrpumblechook · 15/08/2020 09:03

@wontspeak

I would be suspicious they were having an affair
Why?! There is nothing to suggest that. Quite the opposite.
Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 09:03

With regards to the affair comments. Who knows! Have no reason to be suspicious.

I was annoyed a few years ago when they were constantly WhatsApping each other. Like multiple times a day. All mainly work related but still. Had a word and it stopped being so prolific and now they don’t work together on the same accounts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delatron · 15/08/2020 09:04

I do think yes he doesn’t think and wants to be seen as the nice guy.

OP posts:
mrpumblechook · 15/08/2020 09:05

If he is anything like my DH he agreed to this ages ago, didn't work out the date clashed with the holiday and when he finally realised decided you would go mad so put off telling you until he had to.

wontspeak · 15/08/2020 09:07

@mrpumblechook just a couple of things really. If they were having an affair he probably wants to see her and is missing her (if one or both have been on holiday?) and wants to do it under some kind of guise of normality, and what better way to have her in the house as part of the family? Also people who are having affairs feel invincible and get off from secrecy and excitement and enjoy hiding in plain sight. Also if he feels he is the man of the house and is very entitled, he might believe that he has a right to have both women under one roof.

Plus OP just said she felt they used to whatsapp too much

mrpumblechook · 15/08/2020 09:10

[quote wontspeak]@mrpumblechook just a couple of things really. If they were having an affair he probably wants to see her and is missing her (if one or both have been on holiday?) and wants to do it under some kind of guise of normality, and what better way to have her in the house as part of the family? Also people who are having affairs feel invincible and get off from secrecy and excitement and enjoy hiding in plain sight. Also if he feels he is the man of the house and is very entitled, he might believe that he has a right to have both women under one roof.

Plus OP just said she felt they used to whatsapp too much[/quote]
I'm sure there would be an easier way to see her without making his wife furious though!

Coffeepot72 · 15/08/2020 09:14

I still don’t think this is an affair, let’s not de-rail the thread

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