Husband invited work colleague and son to stay

[Delatron]

Just got back from holiday. Am knackered and have a mountain of washing to do. I’m working in the morning. DH has said his work colleague and son are flying back from a local airport and she’s asked if they can see us for dinner and stay over tomorrow. So one day’s notice. Then get up bloody early on Sunday to get their flight, wake us all up on the only day I get a lie in.

I mean how cheeky is this? DH has said yes. I’ve told him he can do all the beds/towels and cooking but I’m furious my chilled weekend has been taken away. He says he is just being kind and I’m so ‘hostile’.

Also the coronavirus risk? I’ve only had my parents overnight. Nobody else. We have no idea where they’ve been and whether they have been social distancing. They are not even close friends!

So am I being unfriendly and hostile?

@DUFFDADDY1 - have you been sniffing the barmaid's apron again?

There’s something odd about this. He is putting their well being or his need to be liked before considering you, and inviting a potential risk to your health into your home. You could try calmly explaining that you don’t want them to stay and could he cancel the invitation. Regulations around Covid are a genuine reason anyway. I’d also want to be sure they isn’t something else involved if only in the mind. Who invites random work colleagues and offspring to stay unless one has a personal agenda?

I would make it clear that something like this is NEVER to happen again. What a CF that didn't even bring a box of chocs, some flowers, or a bottle of wine!!

I’m guessing CF didn’t ring or write to thank either of you for your hospitality either

They came from the US? I live in the US and no way would I let anyone in my house, much less stay over. I have rarely even seen my family. When my daughters visit we have dinner outdoors as I have a huge yard and lots of tables and chairs. We set up in the driveway. Coronavirus is rampant here, people are terrible about wearing masks, social distancing and there is no testing except for medical personnel. He is taking too much risk having her and her son stay in your house, especially after being with other people in Ireland recently. Have they tested negative for Covid in the past week? I definitely would not risk it and would be straight with them about not staying and why. If she is halfway reasonable, she'll understand. If not, too f'ing bad. Not worth getting sick or dying for.

He’s so fucking her. He was terrified she’d get cross hence he was trying to placate

I haven’t RTFT, just the OP’s updates. She’s an entitled cow and I’m sorry but your DH is a wuss who can’t stand up to her! I’m currently in the US and should be visiting family in the UK right now...but guess what, everything’s been cancelled because there’s a global pandemic!

Why someone would think they could show up to a work colleague’s house for dinner and possibly stay overnight us is beyond me. I wouldn’t even ask my best friends to host me/my children atm.

Anyway, she’s a CF; you know she’s a CF and your DH needs to wake up and realize it too.

Did he defend her delatron?

If he did defend her, even after the most god awful night of rudeness then you have to wonder why, and I would check those text messages, emails etc again if I were you. SM and all the rest. Because it would mean she has a hold on him, and I would want to know why.

If he says she is rude and awful and never coming back, that would also be good to know. A normal straight forward response to a dreadful imposition.

How he proceeds from now will you tell you everything you need to know about your husband and CF.

Just thinking more about the Covid aspect OP. Did she kiss/hug him or try to?

She might just be an overbearing person and your DH has got used to doing what she tells him. Nothing more sinister, except it’s not a healthy relationship for him. I feel sorry for the son she dragged around on this holiday, poor kid.

I'd watch this friendship very carefully from now on. A PP is correct. She has some sort of hold over your DH. Past EA? Her behaviour is so entitled. I wonder if they have been involved at all in the past?

She might just be an overbearing person and your DH has got used to doing what she tells him. Nothing more sinister, except it’s not a healthy relationship for him. I feel sorry for the son she dragged around on this holiday, poor kid.

I don't think it's sinister, just that the DH (like so many DHs) needs to grow a pair.

I am taking all comments on board. I’m not suspecting affair either in the past or now as he is quite open with his phone. And last time I suspected I followed their messaging for quite some time. I know it’s naughty but I had reason to suspect and the constant messaging was pissing me off. But they were just work/chatty messages. Mainly her really.

I do think their relationship is too close for a work one. I have spoken to him before about this and the messages did calm right down. Months would go past.

This has just reignited my annoyance.
I was out with friends last night so no chance to chat.

I wonder how he'd feel if you behaved precisely the way he has with a male friend.

start coughing and saying you feel ill. Go to bed with netflix, books and choc.... stay there. Feign sleep if he wants to ask you anything. Groan.

@amispeakingenglish

start coughing and saying you feel ill. Go to bed with netflix, books and choc.... stay there. Feign sleep if he wants to ask you anything. Groan.

RTFT

Just begun reading this thread. My BF who moved with her DH to Harrogate a few years ago rarely comes back down south but this past weekend they were due to, to visit family ( quite a few people in this case) She emailed me last week asking if they could 'drop in' one evening but I replied we were still social distancing as my DP is a long term Covid sufferer. She quite understood. So should your husband and his work colleague Delatron

Glad it's all over....but have you actually confronted him about how he feels about her. Only, it does seem a little bit suss.

You need to be less hostile, aggressive, unreasonable, and selfish.
Even at your age in life, you should start to learn how to be more friendly, welcoming, and hospitable.
Methinks there are shades of jealousy, and thoughts of something sexual going on here in your mind?

Lol at pentaplanet. Erm, no!

Sure @pentaplanet - and you can continue to spread bloody coronavirus wherever you go, along with your judgement.

You need to be less hostile, aggressive, unreasonable, and selfish.

And you need to stop using the word 'methinks' in that twuntly fashion.

I haven’t RTFT, just the OP’s updates.

It’s more than some people managed AmICrazyorWhat2

@pentaplanet

You need to be less hostile, aggressive, unreasonable, and selfish. Even at your age in life, you should start to learn how to be more friendly, welcoming, and hospitable. Methinks there are shades of jealousy, and thoughts of something sexual going on here in your mind?

Methinks you need to RTFT before leaving twunty comments.