Husband invited work colleague and son to stay

[Delatron]

Just got back from holiday. Am knackered and have a mountain of washing to do. I’m working in the morning. DH has said his work colleague and son are flying back from a local airport and she’s asked if they can see us for dinner and stay over tomorrow. So one day’s notice. Then get up bloody early on Sunday to get their flight, wake us all up on the only day I get a lie in.

I mean how cheeky is this? DH has said yes. I’ve told him he can do all the beds/towels and cooking but I’m furious my chilled weekend has been taken away. He says he is just being kind and I’m so ‘hostile’.

Also the coronavirus risk? I’ve only had my parents overnight. Nobody else. We have no idea where they’ve been and whether they have been social distancing. They are not even close friends!

So am I being unfriendly and hostile?

I'd expect my other half to discreetly run anything like that past me before agreeing to it (and I'd do the same).

Having these two stay at your house is obviously going to affect you so you should have been asked first.

This tautology drives me nuts! Of course a colleague is from WORK: a colleague is someone you work with...

@Lisa82sim

I'd say you're being unfriendly and hostile... You've just been on holiday and had plenty days off and time to lie in your bed every morning. Maybe my opinion isn't the norm, my husband and I have a child and we live 400 miles away from our family so we often have our parents or siblings staying over or friends.

If you read OP's posts, you will see that your understanding of her holiday as having lie-ins every morning is nonsense.

MN now makes it incredibly easy to read all OP's posts. Could you explain why you didn't bother?

Honestly? Life's too short! Have people over, don't bother changing the bedsheets or being the "best host". Have some peoole over that you would never normally entertain. Make it an adventure, make some memories- talk about the random people you had to stay in years to come. Sometimes you have to just go with the unexpected twists and turns that life throws! In the long run it will enrich your life and your experiences. Even if it's awful it gives you something to laugh about!

🤦‍♀️

@Raspberryberret

Honestly? Life's too short! Have people over, don't bother changing the bedsheets or being the "best host". Have some peoole over that you would never normally entertain. Make it an adventure, make some memories- talk about the random people you had to stay in years to come. Sometimes you have to just go with the unexpected twists and turns that life throws! In the long run it will enrich your life and your experiences. Even if it's awful it gives you something to laugh about!

🤦🤦🤦

I don’t think @Raspberryberret had the memo about COVID ......

Spread the virus invite strangers into your home......... Say no

Hi there, I am guessing they probably stayed round?
But what would of surprised me was if you were pregnant and he thought this was ok.
I am not even letting my family stay over the night, or even come for dinner (when we normally have people round for dinner)- as I know not everyone has really been keeping to social distancing, priority is to stay as safe as you can while we all 'manage our own risk'.
I welcome anyone to stay and cook for them and happily help people if they are in need for somewhere to stay, we love sharing our home. But due to this pandemic, it is perfectly reasonable to say 'no' and people have to and should respect that and IF you ARE pregnant, I am surprised if anyone is willing to put any of us at risk while our immune system is down, my closest friends always stand back well away from me, not concerned for themselve but paranoid for me :) and I dont mind that haha.

Well i think you have a kind hearted husband which is nice. Its only one night, just be gracious about it

At any rate, not putting clean sheets on the bed for your guests is just fucking minging.

YANBU.

Why is he trying to impress this woman? That's the real question.

He is deflecting but calling you hostile and not taking responsibility for himself.

@Raspberryberret we're in the middle of a bloody pandemic, this is NOT the time for Enid bloody Blyton style japes and frolics.

Get a grip.

If he's doing everything, I don't see it as a huge problem.

It was last night, people!

[quote FelicisNox]@Raspberryberret we're in the middle of a bloody pandemic, this is NOT the time for Enid bloody Blyton style japes and frolics.

Get a grip.[/quote]
Not sure I need to get a grip. Pretty sure the thread has been an entire whinge about "my husband would have run this past me". Not "I'm genuinely concerned for my health" . I am genuinely perplexed about this. Lockdown was only ever about protecting the NHS. Never about people catching covid. Good luck in avoiding the entire population until a proven vaccine is availavle 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Why do people read the first post only and reply ? The whole thread is there to scroll... Some might say read, even...

Raspberryberret and if you'd actually acquainted yourself with the thread and had deigned to read the OP's updates you would be aware that the proposed stay was for yesterday night and the proposed guest and son are back in America now so your advice is somewhat irrelevant.

Posters too lazy or rude to read the OP's updates will still be imparting their pearls of wisdom on the stay/don't stay conundrum this time next week.

Op, when your kids are older they'll be having friends to stay all the time. You'll be getting up in the morning wondering who you are treading on and where all the juice has gone from the fridge!

It's all over now anyway.

@jessstan2

Op, when your kids are older they'll be having friends to stay all the time. You'll be getting up in the morning wondering who you are treading on and where all the juice has gone from the fridge!

It's all over now anyway.

None of which has been happening during this pandemic or should have been happening.

I would not be comfortable with anyone staying overnight at the moment. We've barely had anyone in the house and not been inside anyone else's house either.
I would tell him this is unacceptable, especially at this time.

I wonder if there is a Guinness World Record for the most instances of 'Useless After the Event Advice', this thread would be a sure fire contender.

Thanks to all of you that read the thread and have questioned some of the later replies!

The ‘don’t bother changing the sheets’ was my favourite. That is absolutely minging.

@Lisa82sim if you had bothered to read the thread you’d see that no I didn’t get any lie ins during my holiday and I was up early the day we left cleaning the bloody cottage and stripping beds at 7am. Sorry I didn’t fancy hosting some random, rude work colleague the next night!

To those that have pointed out the strangeness of their relationship, I agree. She seems to think she can demand to stay at our house at the drop of a hat. DH runs around to make his happen. This concerns me. I’ve basically told him from now on she is his friend. I find her rude and overbearing. He can see her separately but she is no friend of the family.

Thanks to all those who have helped me have some clarity of thought through this whilst my DH was implying I was the wicked witch of the west and she was some bloody damsel in distress.

I still think that she didn’t have a hotel booked.

Book yourself a break in a nice hotel overnight while they are at your house.
Relax and have a nice meal away.
Make sure that the fact that you were not even consulted in them staying is made very clear!
You should not have just been expected to be on with this at all !