To think anyone TTC now is mad?

[absolutelybloodyanonymous]

Given the GDP fall-economy disaster, rising unemployment, coronavirus, does it seem bloody mad to be TTC now?

I’ve got mates and family who are TTC or already upduffed and it seems absolutely mad to me. Why does RIGHT NOW feel like a good time to TTC? AIBU?

(Nc for this!)

It'll be years until everything is 'back to normal' so anyone who is currently late twenties / early thirties doesn't have the option to wait without risking not having children full stop.

Also, hundreds of thousands of people have had babies in the last two years, I fail to see how having a newborn next year is so much worse than having a toddler.

I think your comment has touched a nerve with a lot of us, and honestly you should have a think about why.

@lynsey91

I can't believe any sane person would think getting pregnant now is a good idea.

None of us know what is going to happen with the virus do we? It's pretty selfish really to bring a child into such an uncertain world.

Just in case you need to know, me and DH are childfree by choice. An overpopulated and pretty messed up world only likely to get worse with climate change, food and water shortages etc certainly does not need more humans added

You realise this is a PARENTING website, right? Childfree is a perfectly valid choice, but this isn't the right place to come to shit on having children.

Yes absolutely agree. We were planning on ttc within the next year or so but putting that off for as long as it takes to get back to normality.

We both have secure jobs so that isn't a concern but I just would not want to raise a baby during this madness.

I conceived before lockdown, but honestly I would probably have thought again about trying otherwise, because I had to be on immune suppressant meds in the first trimester and it was pretty terrifying. I’ve also had shocking care through this pregnancy due to covid which has been horrible, and the baby is due in November, probably right around the time we’re hit with a second wave.

But everyone’s circumstances are different as this thread shows and it’s really not anyone else’s business whether or when someone wants to reproduce.

We both have secure jobs so that isn't a concern but I just would not want to raise a baby during this madness.

If you're waiting for a world that doesn't feel mad and dangerous you might be waiting a very long time. There's never been a point in my adult life where the world didn't seem quite mad and where people didn't seem quite angry about it. Looking back then, say, the Iraq war doesn't seem such a big deal - and George Bush looks very benign compared to Trump - but that's not how it felt at the time when people were marching in the streets.

I haven't rtft and someone has surely said this already but
Most people do not get pregnant the very first month they TTC. School leads us to believe that if you so much as think about sex you'll get pregnant. This is not actually the case.
Each time I ttc it took me about 7 cycles to get pregnant. Two of those ended in mc. I have one child despite TTC for 5 years.
It's great for you OP that you have such an optimistic view of fertility but it is important to remember that TTC does not equal pregnancy immediately (or ever) and that many many pregnancies do not end with a baby being born

Not mad no. How long will covid go on for? No one knows. I'm 40 so time running out. We had a wobble but over that now and carrying on trying.

How about it's none of your bloody business @absolutelybloodyanonymous you miserable cow.

You have absolutely no idea what situation people are in, so take your judgements elsewhere.

It's not mad at all. People will have many reasons for trying now - a big once of which will be age and not having time to wait. Babies get born into much worse situations than the one we face now. Most importantly whatever their reasons it's really no one else's business.

Bit odd that other people making decisions for themselves is getting you so bent out of shape OP

Can I ask what all these secure jobs are that are completely recession & pandemic proof? No worries about future tax hikes either?

Pharma industry is one. We want to TTC soon - stable jobs, we live frugally way below our means and save a lot, we can afford rent on just one salary as we live in a shoebox flat with old phones and drive an old banger.

I was born during a complete economic collapse and hyperinflation, and I am still really happy to be alive. People always have kids through all sorts of things.

And the person who said "if I'd known about the climate 10 years ago I wouldn't have had kids" - mate, I was learning about climate change in school a good 15-20 years ago! Absolute bollocks.

Can I ask what all these secure jobs are that are completely recession & pandemic proof? No worries about future tax hikes either?

Plenty. Teaching, nursing, medicine, dentistry are some- we'll always need them, and skills can be transferred abroad fairly easily if necessary. Mechanics, plumbers and other manual labour fairly recession proof too.
I guess undertakers are always going to be needed.
Solicitors and estate agents will be busy in a recession.
Probably loads more.

To be honest, I can understand why people who feel like they are running out why they would not let this stop them from ttc, I would do the same if I felt I was. Although I am 26, my DP is almost 30 and I am so broody and pre pandemic I think we would of been trying soon but I have such a phobia of medial related things, needles/blood tests etc that I really need someone there with me and until that's allowed again I will postpone. I wouldn't want to go for scans also without my partner there.

We planned for this year, after reaching our goal of buying a house to have carefree h

Posted too soon! I meant to say carefree holidays and trips away to do the things we planned before having children so we still want to do these things which has postponed ttc but I can totally understand why people would not let this affect their plans. I do agree with PP there doesn't ever seem to be the 'ideal time'.

Plenty. Teaching, nursing, medicine, dentistry are some- we'll always need them, and skills can be transferred abroad fairly easily if necessary. Mechanics, plumbers and other manual labour fairly recession proof too. I guess undertakers are always going to be needed. Solicitors and estate agents will be busy in a recession. Probably loads more.

There is definitely levels though. Businesses contract in a recession so whilst dentists & solicitors are still needed, you don't need so many of them. After the 08 crash public sector wages were frozen for years for many sectors & most jobs were impacted by wage stagnation.

Well the pharma industry is booming, some companies are absolutely raking it in, hiring and giving out bonuses rn, compared to other industries that have gone down the toilet (like travel...)

Oh Im sure it is particularly as the UK industry is fairly small, it employs about 70k people so there's definitely room for growth.

I notice @absolutelybloodyanonymous didn’t come back to her goady thread 🙄

@Exilecardigan

I notice *@absolutelybloodyanonymous* didn’t come back to her goady thread 🙄

She said she'd name changed. If what you have to say is so contentious and potentially offensive that you can't take the flak for it even with standard internet anonymity, perhaps that's a sign that you should rethink it.

I didn't mean to duck out of the thread for so long, and don't want anyone who has taken time to feed back on my posts since I last posted to think I have flounced.
Firstly, I didn't say I didn't know about climate change 10 years ago -of course I did. Like previous posters, I have been aware of some environmental issues for the best part of my life, including the impending perils of climate change. What I said was, and it almost makes it worse, is that I did have a general awareness but wilfully ignored it in favour of 'looking on the bright side', thinking naïvely that northern Europe would likely escape the most severe effects of climate change, and for this reason, I would be able to carry on regardless. I did not, however, realise just how much faster things were moving than previously thought, or how widespread and globally catastrophic the impact of climate change would be, until the 2014 IPCC report and reading around the Paris Agreement of 2015. For me, this was a game-changer.
Secondly, I mentioned that I have spoken about this in RL with friends and colleagues, and this caused concern for some posters. The conversations have not been along the lines suggested, hectoring or guilt-tripping childless women or men into abstaining from TTC. Far from it. As someone who, as previously stated, explicitly did override my awareness of environmental issues in favour of my longing for a baby, I don't judge; I have been there. I have never brought this up during a conversation about starting a family, infertility or baby loss, having experienced both. Or in a smug, parlour game way as suggested. But, during conversations and meetings in RL, with friends and colleagues, talking about what the fuck to do about the planet, I have shared how I have felt powerless and overwhelmed by dread and guilt, trying to picture my DC making their life in the world that is emerging. In my defence, I don't think this is an unusual emotional response; the Government publicly declared a climate emergency last spring. It scares the hell out of me. I don't for a minute regret having my DC, but neither am I going to pretend that I didn't do it for me. My reference to strength of character seems to be what has caused most offense, and made me appear callous and judgemental. I agree that it was a thoughtless choice of words, and no more than a reflection of my own sadness. It is clear that I have got it wrong on this thread.

@WarmthAndDepth

Look, as I've said twice on here already, I am far from ignorant about environmental science and the effects of climate change. I am probably more educated than the average person.

What I have noticed and what actually concerns me at a different level, is the trend (and it is a trend) for wannabe woke or environmentally aware parents to wheel out the line "if I'd known about this way back in 2010 or 2014 or 2016, I probably wouldn't have had children". Think what message that sends to younger generations, including your own children.

Earlier you said you didn't "read the room".

I expect this is a 'bit' you do, amongst privileged groups of wannabe wokes who all think you are so right on. Ok, I'm sure it goes down a storm.

It strikes me, that people who wish away their own children, because life won't be exactly the same as it was during their own comfortable childhoods, really shouldn't have had children, because they lack the resilience to parent in a world which has, let's face it, always been horrendous and where life has always been precarious for actually the majority of people. My other degree is in Politics, which involves a heavy dose of history as well as current affairs. The world has never been easy for everyone or even most people. And, if you can cut the hysterics and competitive catastrophising you engage in with privileged people who don't have enough problems to worry about in their actual lives, you would be focussing on raising the children you willingly brought into the world so that they can forge an exiatence instead of wringing your hands about the fact they exist. Seriously, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with all of these people?

If you have read the pop environmentalist authors who like to say that the world will be basically uninhabitable or a living hell in a few short decades, and believed everything they have said, then you know....you do you. But personally, I think there is as much chance of that happening as an asteroid hitting into the earth. Something else for you to flex your neurosis muscles on there.

The world is getting harder to inhabit. What the fuck we do about the planet is something you like to discuss? Telling younger generations their very existence was a mistake ain't it pet.

I wrote another, long post up thread about the dubious merits of the DON'T BREED message. If you have time you can maybe read it.

Two years of infertility has made me realise not to wait

I’ve got mates and family who are TTC or already upduffed and it seems absolutely mad to me

@WarmthAndDepth. 😂😂 already upduffed?! I was 12 weeks + when the lockdown happened, what do you suggest I should have done? Abort?

Personally I’m ecstatic to be pregnant and can’t wait to meet my baby. No it isn’t what I planned back in January but life goes on.

Your hypocrisy is amazing, in a bad way.

I haven't got enough space on my screen for the applauds TheMarshGirl deserves for all of her posts.