To turn around and go home from holiday?

[Focusanddetermination]

I'm on day one of holiday, just arrived and seriously considering turning around and driving straight home again.

Reasons for going home :

1. I've been hit by a wave of dark depression on way here, I'm crying, feel like I'm in a dark place. I feel so alone, and ugly, and unloved
2. The weather here though at the beach is worse than where we came from, grey to reflect my mood
3. The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out
4. The place we've come to I've spent a lot of money on, it doesn't feel worth it, it's more downtrodden that I thought or would be. I don't know what we're going to do here for a week. I could recoup some of the money by leaving straight away before we check in. It would total about £200 with fuel and lost deposit. If we stay ill have spent closer to £1000 on hotel, food in a week

Reasons against going home '

1. I recognise I'm in a dark mood, it could lift, things could get better
2. My child just wants a beach holiday, which this is... Sort of

I can't discuss it with my child, they are too small. They don't understand money or why mummy is crying. They want a happy childhood holiday, this isn't it. They want a happy mummy and I'm not that. I'm so unhappy this is what they will remember.

For context, I do suffer with severe depression, and am seeking treatment but really there isn't much on the NHS.

The tide goes out a long long way in parts of S Wales (it’s one of the biggest tidal ranges in the world).
I remember building huge sandcastles and rockpooling as a child.

That's what children do, ask a teacher who has organised a lovely day trip, spent hours planning, box-ticking and has exhausted themselves by never thaking eyes off their charges all day! Next day, asking the children about what they remember, invariably it will be who was sick on the bus coming home

Ain't that the truth!...We went on a school trip to Belgium, and the ferry was rough, and we remember ''Miss'' lying on a chair on deck wiping her grey face with a wet flannel as we charged about..
All the Culture, and I remember riding horses on the beach and ''Miss'' valiantly battling sea sickness while kid wrangling {or not}
Also Debbie Beetham was sick on the coach after eating a
Crunchie 5 minutes after setting off.
Happy Days :)

Get your money back and spend a small portion of that £800 on a couple of nights premier inn type hotel. Your child still gets a couple of days on the beach and you save a few hundred pounds.

Oh I see it isn't Weston, but South Wales.
Bristol Channel area has the highest tidal ranges in the World..At Weston the sea goes out one mile {I googled} so that explains the vast expanse of sand.

The sea will come back, As Jimi Hendrix said ''Moon, moon, turn the tides, gently, gently away''...
Also a metaphor for sadness draining away, and being replaced by a sense of stillness and calm.
You can do it @Focusanddetermination 👍

The seaside does look very dull and drab when the sky's are dull and grey, but most have other things to do in the mean time. I remember when I was younger we went to Blackpool to see the illuminations. A tradition for me was to go to all the 'tacky' seaside shops and get one of those huge plastic walking sticks filled with smarties. How about starting a new tradition off and collecting something each time you go away? Amusement arcades get a bag of 2ps or 1ps and have fun on the slot machines. You said the tide was out the wet sand makes fantastic sandcastles. Grab some buckets and spades from the shop and build sandcastles the. Find shells and stones to decorate them. Usually there's water beneath the wet sand so digging a moat around the sandcastles is fun. Fish and chips always taste so much better at the seaside is there somewhere you can go for fish and chips? A holiday is what you make of it

Can you look on tripadvisor for the best things to do in the area?

Maybe make a plan of action. Ie, monday - beach, tuesday - museum etc.

Can you say where you are and then people could suggest things to do. Even if you don’t want to be specific, maybe a broad region.

I'm in SWales! Don't worry, bits of it are run down. I'm in Cardiff, whereabouts are you?

If you're in Porthcawl that's an absolute Haven for dc, it's shabby and run down in bits but kids absolutely love it.
Eat chips, play the arcades, honestly your child will love it. The sea air may blow some cobwebs away for you as well. I'm absolutely not minimising depression, but you're going to be depressed whether at home or away, so you should really try to give your child a holiday, especially as you're already there.

Yeah, it's dull and miserable. But it's dull and miserable at the seaside.

You'd feel worse with it dull and miserable at home.

DP grew up in the middle of the moors with grandparents living near the sea. Yes, the weather was - changeable - but it's still beautiful to be wrapped up, wet faced and blustered around, compared to the stuffy, run down, dirty cities.

I was only ever happy at my granddad's, just a few miles away on the Surrey Hills, with greenery, rain (lots of rain) and the smell of animals in the air.

I'd swap where we live now for a wet, cold seaside or moorland visit anytime.

What a lovely thread. So much support and kindness.

I hope you are okay OP.
Stick with it and make the most of it - just do little things at first like run and exercise on the beach in the fresh air, collect pebbles, buy an ice cream, have a nice meal this evening. Buy a good book.

Are you on meds? if you are maybe discuss dosage when you get home.

This will not last forever. It's a moment in time when all seems bleak but life changes all the time.

Stay on here for support and just let the welsh mums know where you are and they can give you ideas of how to keep you both entertained.
And at least with a car you can get about and travel regardless of the weather.

Hope it gets better.

Where about in South wales are you? Today it is very grey but yesterday was glorious.porthcawl beach on a sunny day is great amd if you are further west..well you should.not reallt have anything to complain about. P.s. I am from south Europe so no interest in defending the local area without good reasons.

Could you look for somewhere else to stay?

Perhaps if the place was better for you then you might be able to deal with the weather?

Sweet OP, the posters here are right. Depression tells you lies. It tells you that you don't deserve a holiday. It tells you that everything is bad. It tells you that you aren't worth spending money on. It tells you that once the tide goes out, it stays out. It tells you that you know that is crazy to believe, so you must be a fool, not a smart person with depression. You have already accomplished so much. You have a loving relationship with your child. You are here in this world despite your depression. You have made it through another day. You deserve a holiday. If you and your child get one minute of pleasure and happy memories in a twenty four hour span, it will be worth it. Parenting is about making memories, for you and your child. Have small adventures together. And be gentle with yourself. (I love some of the ideas that the creative mothers here have--they are amazing. I love the "midnight picnic at 9:30 especially!)

Where are you OP. Are you with anyone apart from your little one. I could meet up for a chat if you're near me.

Sending you a big hug OP, I travel around the uk a lot with my dc, I have been hit by waves of depression out of the blue and there are places I have been too where I’ve really wanted to return home, Wales being one of them. I live in one of the nicest parts of the uk (or I think so ), we have some of the best beaches and amazing places to visit so I’m often disappointed when we visit other places, I’m often pleased to return home. The weather doesn’t help, we have had a few holidays ruined by rain and I imagine at the moment it’s harder to find indoor activities.

Do what you feel is best for you and your family, tomorrow might be a better day, things may improve. Also remember that going home might not make you feel any better so maybe try and make the most of the situation and speak to your gp when you return.

Mumsnet has supported me through many rainy uk holidays.

I commute between west and south wales. DM me your location.

We've just come back from 4 days in Monmouthshire with a toddler. There's a lovely family run farm park in Raglan. You could also go hunting for knights at Chepstow Castle. I appreciate these places might be a bit of a drive, but they are nice!

P.s. I'm biased but I think wales is gorgeous.

Run out to the sea happy kid and maybe endorphins for you ?
St. John's wort ( take care if On medication) nature fresh air exercise
Children only want your time and attention I've played hide and seek in hotel room ( tragic I know) and it was their happiest memory
Been where you are and it sucks, especially if it feels like everyone else is having great time
You are not alone we have all been there or will be there at some time in our life
Hang in there xx

We have been overseas and had the most awful weather, last year in France. We got caught up in forest fires one year too. Tuscany was a washout with rain one summer. Heatwave in Greece was honestly unbearable, we couldn't wait to come home. Sometimes rain is the least of the worries!
Being able to drive home is not always a good thing, it gives you the option to give up on a holiday. If you were overseas you would have little or no choice - you would have to stick it out, and make the most of it until the flight arrives to take you gratefully home! It looks brighter now, I hope you are on the beach!

We booked a last minute holiday to Burnham on sea once. In a caravan with our three young kids, two which have special needs. It was a nightmare. We travelled about around Somerset but I didn’t like it at all. I am aware I take a while to settle somewhere but I really didn’t like it there. Most of the time although kids moan they like being out and about and they’ll build memories. But it can be awful when it’s raining.

In our family this is widely known as holiday depression. We never knew it was a thing until just sisters went away together and one admitted to wanting to go home. Everyone felt the same but thought it was just them! Give yourself a couple of days op and see how you feel.

Hello everyone,
I just want to say thank you for all your messages yesterday. So much kindness. I was reading bits at intervals, my child hates it when I'm looking at my phone so I didn't get chance to write more.

We have stayed. I'm not sure my mood has changed and I kept waking through the night, heart racing, thinking dark thoughts and trying to sleep again. I knows it's me not the place. I hope it lifts as the days go on.

I decided the holiday is for my child. As many of you predicted, they think it's great. I have to try to pretend for them. Sometimes I manage it.

Well done for staying! Hope you manage to enjoy some of it

Sending hugs OP and hope you get something from this too