To turn around and go home from holiday?

[Focusanddetermination]

I'm on day one of holiday, just arrived and seriously considering turning around and driving straight home again.

Reasons for going home :

1. I've been hit by a wave of dark depression on way here, I'm crying, feel like I'm in a dark place. I feel so alone, and ugly, and unloved
2. The weather here though at the beach is worse than where we came from, grey to reflect my mood
3. The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out
4. The place we've come to I've spent a lot of money on, it doesn't feel worth it, it's more downtrodden that I thought or would be. I don't know what we're going to do here for a week. I could recoup some of the money by leaving straight away before we check in. It would total about £200 with fuel and lost deposit. If we stay ill have spent closer to £1000 on hotel, food in a week

Reasons against going home '

1. I recognise I'm in a dark mood, it could lift, things could get better
2. My child just wants a beach holiday, which this is... Sort of

I can't discuss it with my child, they are too small. They don't understand money or why mummy is crying. They want a happy childhood holiday, this isn't it. They want a happy mummy and I'm not that. I'm so unhappy this is what they will remember.

For context, I do suffer with severe depression, and am seeking treatment but really there isn't much on the NHS.

Try to stick it out for a few days OP. I understand about depression, I’ve been through some utterly awful spells of deep depression. Can you go for a walk, just being outside will help. I’ve never been for a walk and not felt better for it, even if I haven’t felt better straight away.

The sun might come out, the tide will come in, and if you go home now, not only will you regret it, your DS will be upset. I know you feel like shit but try to keep going. You know things aren’t anywhere near as bad as you feel like they are, so just try to keep hold of that.

I think it is quite normal to struggle in new environments if you suffer from depression, certainly if anxiety is involved. A lot of seaside places are pretty run down at heart - I grew up in one - but people still kept coming and obviously found something worthwhile in it. As i'm sure you know, with depression it isn't so much what's going on outside but how you are interpreting it inside - feelings are not facts and all that. Maybe focus on seeing it through your child's eyes if you can? The tide will turn x

The weather is on the turn in lots of places today and there’s nothing you can do about that . If your child is too small to understand tides they would probably be equally happy on a beach in a pair of wellies looking for shells etc . I’d suggest you check in and then take a long walk to find the sea , it will be there somewhere ! Hope you feel better later OP

Sometimes you can go away on holiday looking for an escape or change only to realise that you’ve bought yourself and all your problems away with you. If you go home now they will reappear there too.

Stay where you are. The tide will turn (hopefully metaphorically as well as literally) and your D.C. will have fun. If you go back now you will add guilt, defeat and probably shame to your existing burden.

We took our kids to an utter dive of a place last year - dh thought he had found a bargain - turns out it was cheap for a reason.

One of the days I took a picture of my dc playing in the rockpools in their swimwear in the rain, with a massive power station in the background.

We laughed our way through it, because if we didn't we would cry, but you know what? The kids had an absolute blast

They don't remember the shoddy accommodation or the toxic slushy seawater or the fact that we went to a local animal park twice that week because it was literally the only thing to do.

We did end up coming home a day early, as we had exhausted all options and the weather turned, but the six days we did were a range of Oh god/ok/oh this is nice.

I know you're struggling OP and I really feel for you, but try to focus on how your child will feel if you pick up and go straight back home. Sometimes, hard though it may be, we have to pick ourselves up and trudge on for the sake of others, particularly when those others are children who rely on us. The place being run down or whatever isn't going to matter to a child, anything and everything is new and exciting just for being a change from the norm. If only as adults we could hold onto some of that childlike innocence life would be a lot more enjoyable at times

since you've made the drive, I would try to make the best of it. Your DC won't mind if it's run down, won't even notice, and will just want to spend time playing in the sand. The tide will come back in...

They won't notice the state of the place. I suspect that you won't get as much money back as you think you will, and you'll be paying for food at home too.

Tell the child that someone must have pulled the plug on the sea and you'll go and look for it. You can have a lovely time peering into rockpools, digging in the sand, finding shells that might just be the plug... can you tell I've done this? It kept her busy for most of a day. On the second day we decided to look for the hot water tap.

Get a bucket and spade and challenge your dc to dig as big a hole as possible, or see if you can make a sandcastle. Set up an obstacle course for the dc and then rest applaud enthusiastically while they try to better their time!

If they're old enough then you can spend time explaining about the tide, and how exciting it is, and it's pulled by the moon etc.

Unfortunately a beach holiday isn't very relaxing and does feel lonely (like everyone else on the beach is happily sunbathing with cheerful children and yours only whinges) when the children are small, so I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit down. Make sure you get yourself an ice cream too!

Can you tell us where you are and how old your child is? Perhaps some of us know the area and can advise on best places to visit. Are there seafront shops where you can buy cheap wellies, bucket and spade, so your DC can dig sand etc. DS was always happy whatever/wherever as long has he could dig sand.

Stick to your plan. You'll feel better for having done it.

I still have fond memories from 52 years ago of a holiday in a welsh coastal caravan park. I just remember buying things in the shop and paddling in the pool with other children. My parents told me it was freezing and raining for the duration but that’s not what I remember!

@Witchend your kids are lucky to have you

Please don’t go home.

My husband has a long history of severe depression. Change/uncertainty/tiredness/difference in routine affect his mood. If he turned around from every holiday where he felt depressed on arrival, we’d never go anywhere.

I have done this before. I think my children remember, I just hope they understand.

Your condition could be totally different to mine but I found my depression was related to PMS and once that was treated I’ve been perfectly well.

Whereabouts are you? Perhaps we can suggest places there to go, I mean if you were at Weston have you been to look at the sand sculptures ?

I don't want to offend anyone by describing their local area as downtrodden in case they don't agree

South Wales...

Thank you for all the replies. I aha with a pp that depression is all about the dark feelings not reality.. But it sure seems real while you're experiencing it

It sounds shit and honestly it sounds as if its all to do with your current mood and very little to do with the actual holiday. You sound depressed.

For what its worth I wouldn't go home just yet -- you may find that your mood lifts after you get used to it and you will probably feel worse if you come home. I don't think your child will care about what the place is like: its just a break.

You must be tired from driving. Why don't you wait until tomorrow to drive home. You may feel differently then, but if not and it's just too much just go home. Don't feel guilty, you made the effort, be proud of yourself. You could always take the kids on days out when you get home.

Take care of yourself.

Have you travelled a long way? If so then could also be travel fatigue, stay a couple of nights, get some sleep.

I grew up in S Wales, bits of it are grim, bits are stunning! Tell us where you are, we'll direct you to the stunning bits!

Have you travelled a long way? If so then could also be travel fatigue, stay a couple of nights, get some sleep.

I agree. I am a single parent and the anxiety and stress of the holiday planning and driving can make me feel really down and I just want to go home.
Try and put your brave face on today and have as much fun as you can. Then this evening have a relaxing evening, maybe get a film and have a cosy movie night with some chocolate or popcorn and I promise you tomorrow you will feel so much better.

llansteffan is lovely. Lots of rock pools to explore and a lovely little village.

Stick to your plan, explain the sea disappears then magically re-appears!
Bucket and spade, dig a hole and your DC will love it when it fills up as the tide comes in.....and they can paddle ....please try and stick with it as you clearly need a break...hopefully someone on here can point you to some nice places to visit

Don't be worried about offending! Even the nicest places aren't for everyone.

Please let us help. How old is the little one? St Fagans in Ely is a good day out!

I remember having a childhood holiday which I loved, years later I discovered all the things which had gone wrong and struggles the adults had. Your child is just glad to be with you. You will not always feel this bad. Baby steps to making the most of this. You can do it. Xxx