To turn around and go home from holiday?

[Focusanddetermination]

I'm on day one of holiday, just arrived and seriously considering turning around and driving straight home again.

Reasons for going home :

1. I've been hit by a wave of dark depression on way here, I'm crying, feel like I'm in a dark place. I feel so alone, and ugly, and unloved
2. The weather here though at the beach is worse than where we came from, grey to reflect my mood
3. The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out
4. The place we've come to I've spent a lot of money on, it doesn't feel worth it, it's more downtrodden that I thought or would be. I don't know what we're going to do here for a week. I could recoup some of the money by leaving straight away before we check in. It would total about £200 with fuel and lost deposit. If we stay ill have spent closer to £1000 on hotel, food in a week

Reasons against going home '

1. I recognise I'm in a dark mood, it could lift, things could get better
2. My child just wants a beach holiday, which this is... Sort of

I can't discuss it with my child, they are too small. They don't understand money or why mummy is crying. They want a happy childhood holiday, this isn't it. They want a happy mummy and I'm not that. I'm so unhappy this is what they will remember.

For context, I do suffer with severe depression, and am seeking treatment but really there isn't much on the NHS.

South Wales eh boyo!!!

tide will be back they don't go away for long! Most seaside places will look a bit grim they've suffered the covid downturn in cases worse than anyone else.

Stick it out for the childs sake, they'll remember the good bits like everyone else says!

Went to Llandudno once, it was horrendous, most depressing place ever (and I come from Hull! 😂 )

Can you go to folly farm? That’s South Wales. It’s amazing and will give you a lift too xxxx

Did you bring a kindle? I always found reading a page turner takes my mind off things

@Hindsite that made me laugh. I’m from hull too!

@picklemewalnuts

I grew up in S Wales, bits of it are grim, bits are stunning! Tell us where you are, we'll direct you to the stunning bits!

I didn't grow up there so wasn't sure I could say this so glad someone else has . I have regularly visited the area to see family though and yes some of it is run down and feels depressing to be in - like anywhere really - then you drive a bit and it's beyond peaceful and beautiful. Are you near Tenby OP? One of the best beaches I have ever been on .

Concentrate on your child having fun. You will probably be feeling black no matter what but your dd can have more fun and be happier playing on the beach.

Tenby is fantastic - but I agree south wales can be a mixed bag generally but there are some really nice bits so with a car possible could be directed to them and the tide will come back in and the weather is varriable so I'd say stick it out if you can.

Don't drive and cry.
Don't cry in front of your children.

@Hindsite

Went to Llandudno once, it was horrendous, most depressing place ever (and I come from Hull! 😂 )

My mum took us to Llandudno once when we were kids. We LOVED it!

If you are anyway near Tenby, maybe drive there for a day. It’s lovely. As is the Mumbles area of Swansea. I don’t know other places unfortunately, but someone else might.

OK first things first there probably will be nice areas just not the touristy bit. I live near a major tourist seaside location the main town is awful filled with either closed shops or pound shops, the seafront area is OK but tacky. Where I live 10 mins away has a lovely sandy beach with very few tourists so mostly locals, nice cafes etc and our high street is full of a range of shops. Tonight have a look for other nearby areas, or give more detail here so MNetters can help you find some diamonds in the rough.

The first day is always stressful, travelling and finding your way around and you'll be tired.

The tide will come in again. Check the tide times online for tomorrow so you can plan your day.
Some of our best days at the beach are in the winter, wear appropriate clothes and go rock pooling or beach combing for shells, kids love collecting things in their bucket. Even if the tide is out a bucket and spade each will keep your DC entertained, 'How deep can you dig?' especially if they aren't used to the coast. Even if its grey I doubt it'll be cold, perfect for running in and out of the surf. If it does seem a bit chilly can you get a flask and make up some hot chocolate to have after paddling.

Your DC won't remember the holiday the same way you do and will have a lovely time.

That sounds crap but I would give it a couple of days if you have just arrived.

The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out

This doesn't make sense though. The tide will come back in. Even if it's out could you not take a walk down?

IL go on about a hoilday where it rained for two solid weeks according to them - last UK one they took - DH remembers loving it - running around in rain and beach hut - on the beach looking at rock pools build moats and castles did model building with DH in accomodation. He thinks it was the best one he had.

OP, maybe think about posting on the local bench? AFAIK you have a different Local Name on there, and there maybe someone who would like to meet up and have a socially distanced meeting or something? e

If you can I would try to stick it out for a few days.

Depending where in South Wales Folly Farm is a great day out for young children

You'll feel a lot better in the fresh air and walking on the sand than you would back home.

There's a massive tide in South Wales, it can look a bit bleak when it's out, it'll come in soon.

If you're near Mumbles, i can recommend an ice cream at Joe's to lift the spirits.

Llandudno is fabulous. Loads to do and an easy drive to beautiful places. Colwyn Bay beach is stunning.

Agree with the others - check in, have a cup of tea, have a rest, and then try again once tide is in a bit.

Also you say it's a bit down at heel - in my experience kids love tacky places - all the plastic tatt, arcades etc is right up their street - they don't like tasteful!

My mum was a manic depressive and ruined parts of my childhood because she would always indulge in her moods. Since I had my son ten years ago I make sure that even when the dark moods take over me and I’m feeling like absolute shit, I “fake it until I feel it” for the sake of him. Maybe try that Instead of heading home. There no way to just snap out of depression but just take it one day at a time and go through the motions. Your dc will appreciate that. Sending virtual hugs to you. X

Please don't go home. All your child wants to do is play on a beach, at least let them do that for a couple of days. I suffer with depression so I know what it's like but you really have to try and put your child first and battle on through.

Walk down to the sea...run along the beach...laugh and play with your child and feel free!!!

I know that is easier said than done when you are feeling low, but for your child, you need to make this fun for them. When we arrived on our UK beach holiday this year, it was a bit grey, but at that point I just appreciated being away from home, by the sea and free from lockdown... the sun soon came out and we had a great time except for the occasional teenage outbursts 🙄😬.

Little kids just love to run and play and splash about - you can do this!

Hang in there OP. Your DC sounds little enough that as long as they have a bucket and spade, some sand to dig and Mummy to show off their creations and beach finds to they won't care about anything else.

I've been to the beach with my friends DS on horrible dank overcast chilly days and he couldn't care. He paddles, digs, looks for sea glass, collects rocks so we can compete to build the tallest tower. Doesn't notice that the adults are shivering and miserable so long as we admire his sandcastles and don't build a bigger tower than him

Make a big deal of buying your bucket and spade and a beach ball, I used to love that. Build sandcastle whilst waiting for the tide to wash them away again. These are my favourite holiday memories and I have travelled now to lots of extic places but none match up to eating chips on a wall in the rain on Barry Island. happy days and simple pleasures.