To turn around and go home from holiday?

[Focusanddetermination]

I'm on day one of holiday, just arrived and seriously considering turning around and driving straight home again.

Reasons for going home :

1. I've been hit by a wave of dark depression on way here, I'm crying, feel like I'm in a dark place. I feel so alone, and ugly, and unloved
2. The weather here though at the beach is worse than where we came from, grey to reflect my mood
3. The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out
4. The place we've come to I've spent a lot of money on, it doesn't feel worth it, it's more downtrodden that I thought or would be. I don't know what we're going to do here for a week. I could recoup some of the money by leaving straight away before we check in. It would total about £200 with fuel and lost deposit. If we stay ill have spent closer to £1000 on hotel, food in a week

Reasons against going home '

1. I recognise I'm in a dark mood, it could lift, things could get better
2. My child just wants a beach holiday, which this is... Sort of

I can't discuss it with my child, they are too small. They don't understand money or why mummy is crying. They want a happy childhood holiday, this isn't it. They want a happy mummy and I'm not that. I'm so unhappy this is what they will remember.

For context, I do suffer with severe depression, and am seeking treatment but really there isn't much on the NHS.

Don't go home. As other people have said, your DC will enjoy it even if you're struggling. The sea will be back and there is a lot to do even if the weather is dodgy (have just spent two weeks in Wales myself).

Don't know where you are or how old your DC are, but a friend with kids recommended Dan yr Ogof which has caves (which might be closed) but a full sized dinosaur park and other things to do.

Depending on child's age - cheap kites are also good beach toys.

we've found ours will happily wander walking down beaches flying them - so we weren't always sat around watching them getting too cold or fed up- stopping for shells along the way.

I saw this on social media a while ago. I now live by this!

It's crappy weather in the midlands today OP, chucking it with rain here so it's not just Wales which is less than glorious sun :)

The weather is set to improve tomorrow i'm sure. PPs are right, let a young child lose on a beach either in their swimming costume if its nice, or in their rain coat if it isn't, and they'll have a good time either way.

Are you caravaning or B&Bing? Sorry if i missed it.

Once they've had a run about you can get some chips and then go and get comfy in your accommodation and relax. Put them in the bath to play (if there is one), then bung on CBBies and have a well earned X

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

That sounds crap but I would give it a couple of days if you have just arrived.

The tide is out, my child doesn't understand, they are just asking over and over for the sea, it's far out

This doesn't make sense though. The tide will come back in. Even if it's out could you not take a walk down?

Depends how far out; where I live the tide can be over a mile from the shore on a very low tide; a long way for little legs over bumpy seabed and big rocks!

I just checked tide times for Cardiff since we don't know exactly where OP is, and it will be back in a bit after 2 today though :)

Also if the tide is out and it's a long way, don't walk down to the sea, the tide comes in very quickly.

To go with other posters - my kids notice two things on holiday: parental attention & how much football they can play. Everything else passes them by. Get thee to Poundland & a £1 football. Then spend the week running around playing football (this went equally for the youngest as a baby giggling away while I pushed the ball to her). Easy to see the negatives when down but take the opportunity to spend time with them & no child will care about rain/run down Ness at all.

These might help find few things open near you for later in the holiday.

www.southernwales.com/en/visiting/things-to-do/

www.walesonline.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/wales-biggest-tourist-attractions-planning-18497620

I know how you feel , we once booked a slum caravan on a rundown site in North Shields and it rained all week . Where are you ? perhaps some locals on here might suggest some things you can do .

@Namechange2020onceagain

Also if the tide is out and it's a long way, don't walk down to the sea, the tide comes in very quickly.

Not everywhere!

When I first read the OP I was expecting her to say she was in Southport because it’s well known for how rare it is for the tide to come all the way in, your lucky to see the sea there!

OP, I get it. How are you feeling now?

One of the great things about the sea is that the tide will come in, and out, every day. Check the tide times online so you can plan when you can play in the water/paddle/explore.

Your child will not care that the place is run down.

What online resources have you got to help you cope? Have you tried Action for Happiness? It's not necessarily a cure by itself but it might give you something to hold on to.

Being by the sea is known for excellent health benefits - can you use the ebb and flow of the waves to help you connect with your breathing?

How confident are you in the water? How old is your child?

I'm originally from South Wales and I agree that some areas are a bit grim! But just like anywhere there are stunning areas. Southerndown beach and the sand dunes at Merthyr r are lovely. The dunes are amazing!

We stayed in a shit hole of an apartment in Skegness. Turned out to be a fantastic holiday.
Give it a couple of days, see if there is a bar/family area where you can chat to other families while the kids play.
Its hard on your own but your child will remember whatever you put emphasis on. Take pics of all the nice moments, and as they grow older ram them photos down their throats. Always works 😉.

Take your child to the amusements. Put a pound in the 2p coin change and a pound in the 10p coin change - huge pot of pennies to play with and let them go!

Not Merthyr - Merthyr Mawr!

Fuck the tide. Get some 2ps like pp said. Hours of fun

I know how shit it is to keep going with kids when you feel so low and your resilience is all gone.

I think though, if you go home you would still feel depressed but it will be worse as you will have an unhappy confused little one too.
I don't know where you are, but there are reallly nice bits in South Wales - I live there! Agree most urban areas are bloody ugly - took me a long time to adjust - but the natural environment makes up for it.
Ogmore by the sea beach is lovely, as well as places already mentioned. Your kid will just like being somewhere new.
Lots of nice forests too - forest ffawr has sculpture trail - forest tea rooms is there which is really nice.

If you are in South Wales Porthcawl is good - rockpools when the tide is out, fun fair, donkeys on the beach - it’s overcast today but still feels ‘festive’. Even Aberavon beach has a kiddy play area (and a view of the steelworks). It’s tough when you feel so conflicted but as a previous poster says - maybe you’ll feel better when you ‘settle in’.

When I go away I get really bad anxiety for a day or so and it takes me a re- adjustment period to settle in a different evironment, after a day or so I usually start to feel a bit better and the sea air might help you feel better, I hope whatever you do you feel better soon x

DS is 4 now but when he was much younger I had horrific depression and his dad had a breakdown. I used to whisk DS away for a few nights every couple of months because it was just dire in our house and even if I felt appalling I did what a PP said and faked it. It was so so hard but I’m glad I did it now because, looking back, I know DS had a fab time even if I was desperate to crawl into a hole and die.

Can you get your DC an ice cream? A bucket and spade? The ride will be in soon and then they can splash around. Is it a hotel you’re in? It’s an adventure for them to be somewhere different. Is your dc old enough to enjoy sweets? One time I felt Truly shit so bought more sweets than I should, found CBeebies on the hotel tv and snuggled up in bed with DS and he thought it was amazing.

I hope you’re feeling ok OP, you’re doing a great job

Presumably if not old enough to understand the tide, they are pre school age so won’t have much of a concept of time or remember much anyway. I’d spend the day and save the hotel fee and pick somewhere else’s in future if you’re not feeling it.

Before you make any decisions, have a Joe's ice cream. Trust me - everything is just a little bit better after a Joe's.

I'm in South Wales and there are loads of lovely places you can go. Depending on where you're staying, there's lots for little ones to do in Mumbles, Gower Heritage Centre, Techniquest in Cardiff Bay. St Fagan's (just outside Cardiff) - you might need to book in advance because of social distancing but even if the weather goes against you there are loads of fab indoor places.

Go get a large coffee and bucket and spade and put some warm jumpers on and ball and let him run around on a beach and build a sandcastle. Walk along the edge and look for shells. Tide will soon be in. Get fish and chips and realise this is his dream! The clouds will hopefully break and the sun come out.

Ah op lots of for you!

Listen, it is not Barbados, but it is going to look much better when the sunshine comes back, and even if it is wet - you know it is what you make it, easy to say when you are not feeling depressed I know.

If you can't do it for you, do it for your little one. They deserve their beach holiday even in the rain, and I think you might actually feel even worse if you go home, truly awful because your child will feel so disappointed. So if its wet, go out rock pooling, muddy puddles, swimming in the rain is really fun try it!
Come back and decorate your room with bunting (after cleaning it with dettol!!) and make it lovely for the week
Do what you need to do to put your feelings aside for one week and entirely focus on your child.
Use the bathroom if you need to cry, and try and give your child the best week ever. You can turn this around.

When you get home op, get some more support if you can from GP or family and friends. You sound so sad, I am so sorry

By the way cold water wild swimming is really good for depression, it really works. We are all here op, and we will help you enjoy it!