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Original poster

Headbands and Bows on bald baby heads,

351 replies

PasstheBucket89 · 13/08/2020 10:31

Why do people do that to bald babies, when i see photos of tiny baby girls with this stuff i think god that must be so irratating Sad, i feel sorry for them, i mean as hair gets thicker, etc not as bad, but am i being unreasonable in thinking wtf do people do this it looks so uncomfortable???

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
startrek90 · 13/08/2020 12:24

YANBU. I don't think it's a class thing as I am working class and I think they are rubbish. I am expecting a girl any day now and I have refused to get drawn into it. Bought some sensible hats and baby will also wear her brothers hand me downs (though to be fair they were also their aunts hand me downs).

My youngest son was mistaken for a girl a few times. He also has a head of beautiful ringlets and I let my boys hair grown as I don't like the crew cuts every boy seems to have.

GarlicSoup · 13/08/2020 12:26

@Marahute

Oh and don't get me started on those pram shoes that look like high heels. Envy (not envy)
Bloody hell whatever next. Madness Angry
daisychain01 · 13/08/2020 12:26

@PatchworkElmer

I really don’t understand this. When you boil it down- are people that worried that others will think their tiny baby has a penis, instead of a vagina? It’s absolute insanity.
Maybe there's a new opportunity for a blue Penis bow.

Yet again another unintended consequence of social media, people want to use their DCs as fashion accessories to show off and brag about. Sad

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/08/2020 12:28

No, because if children his own age were misgendering him then it might be frustrating for him. he had speech disorder so couldn't effectively communicate that himself,

Why is that misgendering, though? I get that 'toys are toys' and that any child can play with any toy, but that there are toys that are almost universally favoured by either girls or boys - make-up/jewellery kits vs machine guns etc; but pushing a pram is just playing at being a parent - and half of all parents are men. I'm not trying to make a point: I just really do not understand why it would be in any way odd for a boy to play at 'daddies'.

At any rate, unless the other boy was standing by the toy cupboard and altruistically acting as toy distributor so as to let the other kids have all the fun, wouldn't passing a pram to another boy suggest that he himself had previously been playing with it?

YouokHun · 13/08/2020 12:28

It's because female babies often look like Winston Churchill and parents don't want them to be 'misgendered' so go all out to make them look girly

@rosiethehen I was just about to mention Winston Churchill as well.

Those shoes @Kreacheriscleaning are fucking horrific and so is all the pinkification of girls clothes and toys, and by pinkification I don’t mean so much the colour but all the naff stuff like headbands and trivialising slogans and later on pink Lego for building a beauty parlour or whatever.

I think the discomfort about the way some people dress little girls comes from the fact that beyond the naffness there is a sexualisation of girls that starts very early. It’s not a conscious act by parents but some people seem to buy in to a world of trivialisation of girls where “prettiness” is everything and this mutates into a sexualisation of girls that starts young. Why does a baby need to be feminised? Why does it matter if your baby is mistaken for a boy or even a former prime minister? It shouldn’t matter what babies and children look like and while it’s only an uncomfortable (and dangerous) headband it’s indicative of something less innocent about how young girls are viewed.

thepeopleversuswork · 13/08/2020 12:29

I just think they are incredibly naff tbh

GetOffYourHighHorse · 13/08/2020 12:30

They're no more uncomfortable than hats surely? Fair enough sun hats serve a purpose but many baby outfits come with little tea cosy style cloth hats that aren't for anything other than to look cute.

I never used hairbands and bows on DC but isn't it a bit snobbish to criticise, a pp even said 'chavtastic'. Charming.

DrManhattan · 13/08/2020 12:30

Urghhh goes well with pierced ears I suppose.

Original poster
PasstheBucket89 · 13/08/2020 12:31

You make a good point @Merename,, it is MN afterall a lot of classism on here.

OP posts:
Odile13 · 13/08/2020 12:32

I don’t like bows or headbands for baby girls. I wouldn’t put one on my daughter. They look uncomfortable and a bit silly.

RiftGibbon · 13/08/2020 12:32

Ridiculous.
Who cares if people misgender a baby that they'll see once or twice?
When DC was a baby (now 9) there were loads of unisex clothes about. Now we seem to have taken a huge step backwards and almost everything is pink or blue. Unisex items seem to be more "specialised" and expensive.
I feel very sorry for the baby paraded about like a fashion accessory.

funinthesun19 · 13/08/2020 12:35

Yeah some look cute but I never bothered with them when DD was a baby. They just get pulled off anyway and I do question whether they’re actually comfortable.

funinthesun19 · 13/08/2020 12:38

Who cares if people misgender a baby that they'll see once or twice?

Exactly. My DD was mistaken for a boy a couple of times when she was baby. It happens and I just laughed it off.

Original poster
PasstheBucket89 · 13/08/2020 12:42

Yep ive noticed that, im expecting no. 3, i love pastel yellow baby stuff ,i noticed its next to non existant now Hmm,,. Idont have any thing against baby jeans aslong as they aren't tight.

OP posts:
BorderlineBob · 13/08/2020 12:44

@Merename

Hmm. I agree that these bands represent a horrible message that girls must be ‘pretty’, and for others to look at. Never mind the safety risk, I’d never thought of that.

HOWEVER. The snobbery in some of these replies is awful. ‘Tacky and common’ ‘top of my baby chav list’. You are so hateful of others that you have a baby chav list??? There are class/culture issues here, but people are more likely to engage in critical thinking about gender and appearance when they are not judged and accused. People who put bows/ pierce ears etc love their children, they are usually just following cultural norms and if they weren’t looked down at so much then may be more open to hearing why there would be concerns for the child.

Absolutely agree with this. Being a parent is hard; if somebody wants to put a bow on their baby because they think it looks cute, just let them. I can't stand all this snobbery.
TableFlowerss · 13/08/2020 12:44

No more uncomfortable for baby’s to be wearing jeans, or trainers...

In the wonder it can help jerk they’d head warm

It can also help ‘well wishers’ identify the sex of the baby. The number of times I’ve heard people say ‘ohh is it a girl or a boy...?’ Even when they’re head to toe in either or.

Lastly, what’s the point in anything?....

I’m talking about the cotton headband btw so it wouldn’t hurt

BlusteryShowers · 13/08/2020 12:45

@RiftGibbon you are right about the neutral colours. I found there was loads of newborn to 3 months that was white or various pastel shades but once you get past that it's all bunnies and diggers. I've noticed a difference even since having my first in 2017. They just make the neutral stuff for people to buy before the birth I reckon.

TableFlowerss · 13/08/2020 12:45

In the winter it can help keep their head warm

mrsmuddlepies · 13/08/2020 12:46

@Merename. You mention cultural issues and that these parents love their children. What about the fact that 82% of Egyptian women suffer from FGM. I am sure the Egyptian parents love their children and would say that they are just going along with cultural norms. Is that acceptable because it is a cultural issue?

UniversalAunt · 13/08/2020 12:46

‘... getting holes punched through their eyes for the diamante stud...’

WTF!!!

The early pierced ears are bad enuff.

Babyshine2020 · 13/08/2020 12:47

I hate this. We've just had a baby girl and a friend bought us a set of headbands and bows.. she will not be wearing them, it must be so uncomfortable.. as if she hasn't got enough to get used to to e

BorderlineBob · 13/08/2020 12:50

@Mrsmuddlepies its quite a stretch to compare a bow to FGM Hmm

KitchenConfidential · 13/08/2020 12:52

if somebody wants to put a bow on their baby because they think it looks cute, just let them.

But it isn’t. It’s about putting something “cute” on them that can be dangerous for them.
It’s also more reinforcement of sexist bullshit. So yep, gonna judge.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/08/2020 12:52

Who cares if people misgender a baby that they'll see once or twice?

Quite. Babies haven't yet developed any clear public characteristics that mark them out as male or female. Even their own mothers and HCPs only find out their sex by looking between their legs, so how could a stranger possibly know for sure when seeing a baby wearing neutral clothes?

With no blatant stereotypical/gendered clues in clothes/accessories/pram colour etc, it's no easier to identify the sex of a baby you've just met than it is to know whether a car uses petrol or diesel just by looking at the bonnet.

Spudina · 13/08/2020 12:53

I’ve found my people!! I hate this. I have just never said it out loud!!