To ask why accidental pregnancies are so common?

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I’m probably going to get a lot of negative feedback for this. But I’m in my 5th week of lockdown in Melbourne and my mind is asking all sorts of questions.

I’ve honestly never fully understood how so many women find themselves accidentally pregnant. I’m not talking here about contraception not working. I’m aware condoms can break and the pill isn’t always a 100% guarantee.

But if you’re not taking any precautions against getting pregnant, how is it such a shock when the tests come back positive?
I admit I’ve only had sex with a man once when I was 17. Wasn’t long after that that I realised I was gay so I’m not as knowledgable as I could be when it comes to having sex with men, but they always know when ejaculation is imminent yes? As in, there’s a warning period and time to pull out? (Sorry to be blunt.)

As I say I totally understand contraception is not always completely reliable and in all honesty the reason I even started to think about this was watching Desperate Housewives which I’m currently doing a re-run or for the first time in years. Lynette always talks about how she only wanted one child but kept getting pregnant and was “surprised” each time.
I can’t count the amount of times at uni I’d go with friends to get the morning after pill or pregnancy tests and I’d never say anything but was always low key thinking “how does this happen so often???” If you’re not using a condom or on the pill or another form of contraception... then why not do everything else possible to avoid the risk?
I’m fully prepared to be told I’m being way too black and white about this or whether else is coming my way.

What surprises me is when people say "i got pregnant 3 times whilst taking the pill". I would have thought after getting pregnant the first time you'd choose a different method of contraception

Doctors refused to rule out the possibility of our conceiving naturally even though we both had fertility issues. We never did though! Everyone on mumsnet seems to know someone who were told they'd never conceive and did!

Contraception* sorry for spelling mistakes

Thanks Thneedville I'm more or less ok now
I think when the whole Country had been in lockdown and I had my wedding and honeymoon canceled I just totally forgot to get on the waiting list for a nurse to call then give me an appt to get a depo!

For what it's worth, I don't think this is a goady thread...

I agree, most methods of contraception have unwanted side effects, but speaking from experience, nothing dampens your sex drive as much as a toddler in your bed 😆

The reason is most people are stupid and careless.

[quote Zhampagne]Given the pill is something like 99.98% effective I'm surprised so many people get pregnant on it!

But it isn’t. That’s the perfect use statistic. Typical use is 91%.

I think typical use failure rates are a big gap in many people’s knowledge.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/[/quote]
But if you don’t want a baby ‘perfect use’ just involves taking your pill every day and using another form of contraception if you forget it, or you have sickness or diarrhoea or whatever. These slip ups so frequently seem to happen to women who ‘couldn’t possibly consider a termination’ too. It looks like ‘typical use’ is a euphemism for careless.

This baffles me as well. Especially when people talk about there being a baby boom because of lockdown. Does no-one understand about contraception and you can actually choose not to become pregnant during a pandemic?

@LightUpLetters

I dont understand accidental pregnancies either.

There is sperm in pre cum so the pull out method is not reliable. There are also alot of myths about for example...

• you cant get pregnant if your breast feeding
• you cant get pregnant if he doesnt cum inside you
• you cant get pregnant in certain positions etc

Basically people dont use their brains. There is no such thing as an accidential pregnancy, its lack of common sense and naviety that causes surprise pregnancies

So the fact that a couple using a condom perfectly every single time only has a prevention rate of 98% past you by scientifically. That means -you use a condom -perfectly (not a split condom or anything) and in a given year of a couple using solely this method of contraception 2 out of 100 will get pregnant.

From the NHS site:
When used CORRECTLY every time you have sex, male condoms are 98% effective. This means 2 out of 100 women will become pregnant in one year when male condoms are used as contraception. You can get free condoms from contraception clinics, sexual health clinics and some GP surgeries.

Because sperm are little buggers and get in places we don't want them. Say for example you can't go on the pill - and you use condoms perfectly with your partner for 10 years -that means that you have a 2% chance each year of getting pregnant. 2% chance is not a risk I was prepared to take.
My friend had a coil -she has a baby. And yes it was totally in place.
My friend took the pill and he used a condom -they have a 4 year old.........
My friend had the snip (male) -no sex after -sample revealed no sperm and follow up appointment. They waited a further 4 weeks. She's pregnant -DNA test -he is the father...........
The later are rarer but still happen

Within my friends, the accidental pregnancies were:
-they were lax with contraception but we’re fine with an accidental pregnancy
-contraceptive failure

I suspect my friend planned her pregnancy but claimed it was accidental. She was told she was unable to have children (but had used contraceptives, then stopped) but has a number of medical issues and getting pregnant on purpose wasn’t particularly recommended. She’s also with a fuckwit. I suspect she was trying because she showed us a picture of a pregnancy test and it was a faint line, so very early.

I’ve had a friend refer to her pregnancy as a surprise, even though they were trying. They only had sex once during the first month but got lucky.

I’ve had a one night stand when younger. He used a condom but he supplied the condom. I had no idea of how trustworthy the condom was, so I took the MAP and got screened for STDs.

@WaffleCash I know somebody who has apparently become pregnant whilst taking: the mini pill, then depo, then the implant, then the combined pill, and finally the patch. I'm not going to say they are lying but I do think that if you are that fertile surely you would use condoms or spermicide as well.

I got pregnant on the patch so I am definitely not denying that it happens - but if things are used correctly then it's very rare and the chances of it happening multiple times are extremely low.

People get carried away and don't bother with contraception. And then, for some reason, don't use MAP.

A (very dizzy) friend of mine got carried away. The following day, she worked out that she was very unlikely to get pregnant as she was on day 23 of her cycle or something. I'm not sure if MAP was readily available back then, but if it was she didn't bother with it.

When she hadn't had a period for 6 weeks, and I suggested she get a pg test, she poo-poohed the idea, until I reminded her about her ONS. She was adamant for a while that it wasn't possible, 23rd day etc ... until I got my diary out and we checked the calendar. It wasn't her 23rd day, it was the 16th and yes, she was pg.

She had a termination, and got a coil put in.

DP has a child he never sees. He had a fling with a married woman who assured him she couldn't get pg because cancer treatment had left her infertile.

Nomorepies damn. I wasn’t aware that as a gay woman I was forbidden to take an interest in topics that don’t directly apply to me. I’ll make sure to make an announcement to all my fellow homosexuals.

I had unprotected sex for 10 years in an effort to actual have a baby. I had 2 via ivf and then carried on as normal and then "surprise!", and then "surprise!". Buy 2 get 2 free. Needless to say I'm never having unprotected sex again until I'm 60!

@CarrotCakeCrumbs, if I was that fertile, I'd have a cap, a coil, an implant AND the pill, all at the same time!

I don’t understand it either. Especially the women where it seems to happen to time and time again. 🤨 They just don’t practice safe sex.

I had an unplanned pregnancy when I switched to the Natural Cycles app for contraception. I was pregnant within the first month of use. Followed the instructions to the letter I just don’t think their algorithm works for all women.

Surprise baby over here - 23 weeks when I found out. Failed contraception , 2 negative tests after missed periods so assumed something else going on 😅 only when I felt a lump in my stomach did I then go to the doctor who said I was indeed pregnant! It does happen!

@lakielady me too! 7 children under the age of 9 frankly doesn't appeal to me - the mother is only mid twenties too.

@Nomorepies

I love that you've called your own topic of discussion interesting.

This is goady and you sound snug with your doing everything to avoid a pregnancy crap. You're a lesbian so I don't know why you're so interested.

Will report this.

I got pregnant with the coil over 30 years ago after being told it was practically foolproof. My daughter got pregnant while on the pill. These things happen.

Are they particularly common?

I've been pregnant 5 times in my life. I have three kids, only one of them was planned.

3 times I got pregnant on the pill (one of those was a miscarriage, the other two were #1 son and the girl one)
1 time I got pregnant on Mirena, which resulted in a really awful miscarriage
#2 son was my only planned pregnancy, and I got pregnancy with him on my first cycle off of the pill.

I don't know if I'm just super fertile or what, but I took my pill religiously, and obviously the IUD was inserted by a doctor. I'd only had it a few months when I got pregnant on it.