To be pissed with messages after nightshift

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I have just finished night 4 of 6 nightshifts,
I am an absolute mess, im getting max 3hrs sleep a day, im SE London, its been absolutely scorching since Thursday last week 30s+, hard enough to sleep in at night, let alone during the day, with the added noise of daily life and people enjoying the weather.

This morning, I had been asleep for maybe an hour, 4hrs after my shift had finished (and I stayed late) and my phone starts going off.

Its my manager, informing me, and my team about a meeting on Thursday just after noon, wanting responses from everyone, so of course, new group, no notifications set up, everyone replying, I'm awake, my phone rarely goes off, my family know when im at work, and I woke in a panic that something had happened and now, im sat here, my rooms absolutely baking, 2 ceiling fans going, windows open wide, curtains open for the light breeze, door open, sleep is not happening, I could fry an egg in here!!

Im furious, the more I sit here not sleeping, the more annoyed I get.

Not only because my manager has woken me up (gr?) but also that I now have to try and be present for a meeting after day 6 of nightshift 7hrs after my shift finishes.

I want to message her back (privately away from the group) to make a point of this, it isn't the first time, and frankly, I've had enough, im sleep deprived, hot and bothered, and feeling stupidly fragile, but all my messages are sounding PA or rude.

Any magic sleeping in heatwave recipes? 😭

YANBU, your manager should have more sense to be quite frank.

I'm also concerned that you are working 6 nights in a row: legally the maximum is 4 for safety reasons. This needs addressing ASAP: if this is your bright idea (I assume you're working bank because no one is rostered for 6 shifts per week and certainly not on the trot) consider yourself slapped on the wrist.

You might need the money and they may need the staff but that will always be the case and you are putting yourself and patients at risk so pack it in.

It's going to be a bit cooler going foward. Email your manager regarding your concerns making it a point to point out that thanks to her you've had one hours sleep making you unsafe to work and get her to split your shifts whilst you're at it.

Bottom line: there is a national nurse shortage and you can work quite literally anywhere if required. You don't need to stay where you are if poor rostering and bad management is an issue.

I'm with you about not turning your phone off, whatever. I have a biggish family and always seems to be someone pregnant or with a baby!
Some people find it easier to switch family off, but I can't. I chose to have them so see them as my overall responsibility even in their 40's. Our newest baby (2 weeks old) has been taken into hospital twice in the past week. He's there now. I can't do anything because of Covid-19 but at least they know I'm there for moral support.
However, your boss calling you in this heat, knowing your shift patterns and that you'd be 90% sure to be asleep is absolutely ridiculous and you need to tell her so. She is NOT a good boss. Is this what the company expects of their senior staff? I'm hopeless in the heat too and I'm so angry for you!
Be short and to the point. 'Don't call me at home unless it's an emergency and if I'm too exhausted to join the out of hours meeting, please make sure I have copies of relevant minutes etc.'
Good luck!

Turn your phone and vibrate off. Tell your manager you can't make the call and request a briefing from her at a time when you are on duty or at least awake, to catch up.

Everyone seems to be having a go at how her phones set . What about work being arseholes in the first place when she’s been working all bloody night. Surely a message at work could be left for her on her next shift

I wonder if having a phone on or not overnight is partly a generational thing. I’m in my late forties and always turn my phone completely off at some point before going to bed. It would seem weird to me not to - it’s got an off button for a reason! But maybe to some younger people turning off your phone overnight is a weird thing to do.

@Amortentia

I feel your pain. Not quite the same but one of my dc has a medical condition and until surgery miraculously fix them, I spent most nights awake making sure they were ok. I slept during the day when they were at school, but had to keep my phone on for (frequent) emergencies. I would be furious If I got unnecessary random texts or calls that woke me.

But, what I want to know from those who switch their phones off, what kind of alarm do you use? I use my phone as I can’t stand having anything that ticks or projects light like a digital clock. Is there something I’m missing?

I use my smart watch, it vibrates against my wrist.

I've always had a problem with alarms, as I'm partly deaf, and have frequently had other family members stomp into my room, smack my very loud alarm off and then wake me up, because I didnt hear it.

Since getting the watch, I've never missed an alarm, and it doesn't disturb others. Fab. Admittedly, a chinese brand, but it does the job I want it to, at a budget price.

Turn your phone off. Simple.

YANBU If you are in the UK you are entitled to 11 consecutive hours between shifts. Your empoyers shouldn’t be asking you to go in 7 hours after a shift ended and can’t legally compel you. Also, turn your phone off when trying to sleep.

Turn your phone off. Simple.

Because nobody has suggested this on the thread up to now.

Mute/airplane mode/night mode/do not disturb mode/turn phone off etc etc. (Turn off sound AND vibrate obviously.) You can set it up to switch off and on automatically.

No one can dictate when other people send them messages. People send a message when they think of it. If you don't want to hear messages while you sleep, do any of the above. If everyone had to second guess when we could legitimately send a message, taking into account other people's sleep habits, work shift patterns, international time zones and any other number of factors, there would be no messaging. Your notifications are your responsibility.

Wear ear plugs too and as others have said, put your phone on do not disturb.

I wouldn't have my phone sound on and the notifications on silent, I'd have the whole lot on do not disturb except** specific numbers because I get more junk calls in the day than important ones.
I'm pretty sure there is a law against expecting people to be at work/ a meeting within a certain number of hours of a night shift. We had a work phone call on our home phone after midnight a couple of days ago, my husband was on call and quite insistent that next time they use his mobile so as not to wake the whole house up.

I'm a night shift worker as well (NHS), sorry to sound unsympathetic (honestly I'm not unsympathetic - sleeping in the daytime is an issue for me too) - but it's your responsibility to make sure your phone doesn't wake you up.

As for the rest: I have blackout curtains plus a draught excluder propped along the top of them to cut out all light; I wear those foamy earplugs and an eye-mask, and most effective of all, I got my GP to prescribe me temazepam which means I get at least 4hrs.

My main problem is the bastards from Hermes who ring on my (very loud) doorbell to 'take in a parcel for number 2', as if I am some sort of delivery service for the whole effing block. And I can't disable the doorbell!

nb/ don't go to the meeting. Send a polite email to say it's not possible for you to attend due to your shift pattern, but you'd like to have a copy of the minutes.

Your manager is being a bit dim if she thinks you are going to be attending a meeting after being on nights. But if having your phone on vibrate wakes you up, don’t put it on vibrate!!!!!

I would have my phone on do not disturb you can set it to only certain people call or message.

2 phones....i have an antique Nokia for work..wonderfully clear..battery that lasts for ever. It never comes into my bedroom . I share the dogs cool pads to stay cool plus a bucket of ice in front of the fan. My home phone is the one my loved ones can call while I'm sleeping but only if I've won the lottery. Oh bugger its turned cold now!

YABU because you should switch phone off if you want to guarantee no interruption. Particularly as you know it's happened before. The manager is sending messages to staff and you are staff so obviously you will get a message.

Like EvenMoreFuriousVexation, I always turn off WiFi and data at night. I'm "differently available" because I tend to work US hours (basically I'm not a morning person!) and have to avoid sending texts or WhatsApp messages at 2am when I think of them and I'm still working. In this heat, damp towel round my shoulders during work time, and damp towel over me at bedtime.

@Alwaysoutofreach

I have just finished night 4 of 6 nightshifts, I am an absolute mess, im getting max 3hrs sleep a day, im SE London, its been absolutely scorching since Thursday last week 30s+, hard enough to sleep in at night, let alone during the day, with the added noise of daily life and people enjoying the weather.

This morning, I had been asleep for maybe an hour, 4hrs after my shift had finished (and I stayed late) and my phone starts going off.

Its my manager, informing me, and my team about a meeting on Thursday just after noon, wanting responses from everyone, so of course, new group, no notifications set up, everyone replying, I'm awake, my phone rarely goes off, my family know when im at work, and I woke in a panic that something had happened and now, im sat here, my rooms absolutely baking, 2 ceiling fans going, windows open wide, curtains open for the light breeze, door open, sleep is not happening, I could fry an egg in here!!

Im furious, the more I sit here not sleeping, the more annoyed I get.

Not only because my manager has woken me up (gr?) but also that I now have to try and be present for a meeting after day 6 of nightshift 7hrs after my shift finishes.

I want to message her back (privately away from the group) to make a point of this, it isn't the first time, and frankly, I've had enough, im sleep deprived, hot and bothered, and feeling stupidly fragile, but all my messages are sounding PA or rude.

Any magic sleeping in heatwave recipes? 😭

Turn. Your. Phone. Off

I work some very odd hours when I’m at work, still furloughed for now but...I never take my phone to bed with me. If I don’t want to be disturbed, I unplug the landline too.

@Alwaysoutofreach people who have never worked night shift will not understand how you’re feeling, a lot of pp’s also seem to not understand that you had your notifications set up perfectly on your phone to only let emergencies through but because the group your manager added you to was new to your phone, it bypassed all your carefully tailored settings and woke you. Honestly mumsnet is not the best place for sympathy, I just came on to say YANBU and you have my sympathy

I don’t think it’s normal to completely switch off as in turning your phone off. Emergencies happen. I also don’t think it’s normal to have WhatsApp for work, it’s just a casual chatting app

Guess what ... I’m 46 ... in the world before iPhone etc we used to BE AWAKE, SLEEP, LIVE without anyone contacting us 24/7!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone.
Little surprised this is still running, wonder how many more times ill be told the same thing I already have in place.

@Bluehues thank you for your kind words, Im not a nurse and don't have patients thankfully.

Its a 3 on 4 of and occasionally 6, not usually a problem, just the weather and all the recipes for a bad shift, made for one of, if not the worst shift I have ever had.

I made the meeting, only 2 made it, I'd prepared myself beforehand, as did my colleague, so the call was about 20 minutes long, I've been nodding since about 4pm, but managed to stay awake so I can get a good night's sleep, Thankfully I'm now off for 2 weeks, the weather is cooler.

Enjoy rhe cooler night, everyone just wants to sleep well, nighttime, daytime, anytime 😊

You took the job with shifts... I've also done shifts, one week out of three on nights (11 pm - 8 am Mon - Fri) so I know where you are coming from, we also had meetings once a month but had to be present in the office at 6pm, 5 hours before the shift started, we couldn't call in!

How much do you like your job and wages? If you hate it that much try for another without shifts, but there will be plenty of people who will take your place, especially now!