To be pissed with messages after nightshift

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I have just finished night 4 of 6 nightshifts,
I am an absolute mess, im getting max 3hrs sleep a day, im SE London, its been absolutely scorching since Thursday last week 30s+, hard enough to sleep in at night, let alone during the day, with the added noise of daily life and people enjoying the weather.

This morning, I had been asleep for maybe an hour, 4hrs after my shift had finished (and I stayed late) and my phone starts going off.

Its my manager, informing me, and my team about a meeting on Thursday just after noon, wanting responses from everyone, so of course, new group, no notifications set up, everyone replying, I'm awake, my phone rarely goes off, my family know when im at work, and I woke in a panic that something had happened and now, im sat here, my rooms absolutely baking, 2 ceiling fans going, windows open wide, curtains open for the light breeze, door open, sleep is not happening, I could fry an egg in here!!

Im furious, the more I sit here not sleeping, the more annoyed I get.

Not only because my manager has woken me up (gr?) but also that I now have to try and be present for a meeting after day 6 of nightshift 7hrs after my shift finishes.

I want to message her back (privately away from the group) to make a point of this, it isn't the first time, and frankly, I've had enough, im sleep deprived, hot and bothered, and feeling stupidly fragile, but all my messages are sounding PA or rude.

Any magic sleeping in heatwave recipes? 😭

[WitsEnding]

What pp said about silencing your phone. You are legally entitled to an 11 hour break between shifts so no, you won’t be able to attend Thursdays meeting.
Your manager should know this, and should make alternative arrangements for you - remind him! I can see that he couldn’t hold an all-staff meeting behind your back, though.

[UntamedWisteria]

Just switch your phone off when you need to sleep.

I do it and so do countless others.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

I rarely take my phone upstairs, and half the time would struggle to locate it without a thorough search. Can't understand this reliance on having a phone glued to your person 24/7. If someone wants to contact me urgently they can use the housephone, or the police can come and knock on my door. Stop being such a bloody martyr.

[boredboredboredboredbored]

Invest in some ear plugs too that you find comfortable. I used to do night shifts and the noise kept me awake, earplugs are a total game changer. I use the muffles ones from Boots.

[ramarama]

OP you need to sleep (and yes they are being unreasonable)

I grew up in the tropics and still hate this heat. This is what I did to sleep last night:

Cool shower whilst wearing a very thin light nightdress/tshirt
Soak and wring out a sarong/light sheet to lay on top of you like a sheet
(towel on bed so as not to get mattress damp)
Point fan at your feet, not your face

I also have water spray bottle by the bed in case I need to top up the chill.

Good luck x

[thecatsthecats]

I have never in my life woken up to find that someone was desperately trying to contact me when I was asleep, but I have my phone set to the 'two rings' setting.

Though I will admit that some phones do make it overcomplicated with competing settings between apps and the overall phone - e.g. putting it on DND only to find that the media app decides to override that.

[ThisLittleLady]

Don’t keep phone on the room. Pm your boss and explain in a nice way that’s like me asking you to a meeting at midnight after working day shift all week when you’re ready to sleep-
Can’t you send a copy of the meeting? Follow up notes? Arrange a second meeting for all those on night shifts?
As for the heat, you can buy gel cooling pads that you put under your pillow. These are good. But if you really want a massive one, but a pet one - seriously they do much bigger ones for dogs, it’s the same exact thing, and you can pick it up for about £15 or so (if I remember well) from b and m. Seriously, you should sleep on it!

[MyOtherProfile]

I understand your concerns out not kids Ng important contacts while you sleep, but I think you need to get over it. If you are really still worried about your children then I can't see why DND with exceptions for them isn't working for you.

And please do respond to the group to remind that you will have just done all those might shifts. It is worth encouraging your boss to bear this kind of thing in mind.

[heartsonacake]

YABU. You cannot blame your boss because your own phone settings allowed you to be disturbed.

Just use the do not disturb feature.

[Lovemusic33]

I put mine in silent, I have the same issue with my boss messaging during times when I’m asleep or on holiday. I no longer reply to the messages unless it’s at a sensible time.

[fwwaftp]

I really don't understand these threads. There's one pops up every couple of weeks or so. It's very simple to solve:
Put your phone on do not disturb while asleep. You can make an exception for people who may need to call in an emergency (and can be trusted not to phone in the middle of the night or in your case, the middle of the day - eg. close relatives who are aware of your shift pattern).
It takes a few minutes to set it up and then you just need to switch it on when you go to bed.

There was someone on here a while back complaining about some friend waking her up with texts at 4 am or something and the OP was told to put the phone on DND but the OP kept saying she thought that people should know not to phone/text in the middle of the night and why should she "go to the bother" of setting up DND because other people are selfish and don't think of others in the middle of the night.

These days people are awake at all hours for various reasons and think nothing of sending a text in the night because the vast majority of people I would guess, either switch their phone off or put it on DND when they want to sleep.

OP, I voted YABU not because I am unsympathetic to your lack of sleep but because there is a very simple solution to one of the things that disturbs your sleep and for whatever reason, you haven't done this.

[BringMeTea]

Such a non-issue. Come on OP.

[fuckingcovid]

Nitol works really well for me. Just a small dose (1/4 normal dose) is enough to help in this heat.

[CorianderLord]

Night mode exist you know...

[MegaClutterSlut]

To help me sleep I soak a vest top in cold water, wring it out, put it on and then lay in front of a fan. It helps me keep cool long enough to fall asleep

[Frazzledstar1]

I put my phone on do not disturb when I don’t want to be disturbed.

But your boss sounds unreasonable

[user1490954378]

Haven't read the whole thread, but got as far as ClamDango's reply on the first page, and quite honestly, that is all you need to say your boss.
I hope you are able to get some sleep soon when the heat subsides a bit. I sympathise completely as I used to do nights and thinking about how hot it has been recently, I think I'd have been in tears by now. Every single room in our house was unbearable yesterday.
People saying that you should put your phone on do not disturb - I try to avoid this personally, as I find a few times I have missed really important messages as I forget to put it back on normal mode..my mistake, but it's easier just to have it on vibrate. You could turn off your phone for a bit though, and let your messages come through when you wake up and switch it back on. It is awkward though because obviously people do tend to send messages during the day. Your boss should be mindful of your shift/sleep patterns though if they are reasonable. If not, you have to just be a bit balshy about it.

[Attitude84]

I don’t think YABU but yes you should have set your phone to silent and your manager should have been more considerate. I work nights and I always have my phone on airplane mode when trying to sleep after or for a night shift. When I have switched it back to normal I’ve seen it’s definitely saved me many an hours sleep!!!

[PurpleRain22]

OP I feel your pain, I really do. The weather has been very muggy and hot the last few days, so I think anybody would be annoyed especially with the lack of sleep. However I'd have to agree with previous posters saying your phone should be on silent or do not disturb when your trying to relax or sleep. I have a very unreasonable boss who used to call me an hour after I finished my 12 hour shift , to ask where files were or how to do something. I just set my phone to do not disturb after my shift ends because I consider my time outside of work to be valuable. So if I do respond to my boss it's on my terms, if not they can wait until I'm back in work.

[slartibartfast99]

shower as cold as you can bare semi-towel dry and sleep on top of the covers with fans on, ear plugs, eye mask and phone off. i worked nights stacking supermarket shelves whilst at law school and had young children at the time who wanted Dad's company so they'd bang on the door.(despite having a supportive partner). all this helped but still spent most of my time exhausted. night work is bad for you.

[Nik2015]

Put your phone on silent and turn vibration off. People can’t message around your shifts.

[icantstandhorridhenry]

No YANBU!

I'm going to half agree with you here though, my partner does shift work and when he's on nights the group chat always goes off, his manager is always ringing him for stupid stuff!
Baring in mind there's another bloody supervisor he could ask!
Your manager should know you are nights and be a little more considerate and not phone you!

BUT! And it's a big but!

You are your own worst enemy leaving your phone on vibrate! Stick it on do not disturb and if your manager ever moans at you because they couldn't get hold of you simply say 'that's fine I'll call you at whatever time in the morning when you're sleeping after work'

Don't let it get to you hun!

[PurpleRain22]

Also, I seen somebody mention that they try to avoid putting their phone on Do not disturb because they are worried they will miss important calls or forget to turn the Do not disturb off. You can manually set it up for specific hours and days, it will then disable itself automatically. Iv found it to be a lifesaver for me

[KorumamaT]

Hey.
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people NOT to bother you.
Ignore all the people who say you are being unreasonable.
They clearly have no empathy for night workers and how precious/fragile daytime sleep is.
X x

[Freddie28]

I never understand on threads like this, why so many people repeat almost exactly what others have said. Does no-one read the previous pages.