To be pissed with messages after nightshift

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I have just finished night 4 of 6 nightshifts,
I am an absolute mess, im getting max 3hrs sleep a day, im SE London, its been absolutely scorching since Thursday last week 30s+, hard enough to sleep in at night, let alone during the day, with the added noise of daily life and people enjoying the weather.

This morning, I had been asleep for maybe an hour, 4hrs after my shift had finished (and I stayed late) and my phone starts going off.

Its my manager, informing me, and my team about a meeting on Thursday just after noon, wanting responses from everyone, so of course, new group, no notifications set up, everyone replying, I'm awake, my phone rarely goes off, my family know when im at work, and I woke in a panic that something had happened and now, im sat here, my rooms absolutely baking, 2 ceiling fans going, windows open wide, curtains open for the light breeze, door open, sleep is not happening, I could fry an egg in here!!

Im furious, the more I sit here not sleeping, the more annoyed I get.

Not only because my manager has woken me up (gr?) but also that I now have to try and be present for a meeting after day 6 of nightshift 7hrs after my shift finishes.

I want to message her back (privately away from the group) to make a point of this, it isn't the first time, and frankly, I've had enough, im sleep deprived, hot and bothered, and feeling stupidly fragile, but all my messages are sounding PA or rude.

Any magic sleeping in heatwave recipes? 😭

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

Aw, it's okay. You're tired.

If it's a telephone meeting, can't you join it from home?

[Lurkingforawhile]

I turn my phone on airplane mode when I sleep - but we have a landline so my parents could call me on that in an emergency. If we didn’t the Do not Disturb option with an exception for certain people sounds good. I’ll have to learn how to do that!

[GisAFag]

You are employed not an employer, sometimes we've got to do things we'd rather not.

[Circe32]

I can't cope with the heat either, but the JML personal air conditioner is great! It was about £40 in Asda and it's a bit flimsy, but works like a dream. My only bugbear is that it's a little bit noisy for me, but that might work in your favour, as it can mask outside noise. Worth a shot, I think. Good luck

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I just went to enable the setting on WhatsApp that stops people adding you to groups, I had already set it up for work after a previous incident with groups and crazy people, manager had a new number, wasn't added to the exception, damn it!

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

Hated working nights.

Not sure what your hours are, but one thing that helped me is that instead of going right to bed when you get home, try and spend a few hours awake, and get up fairly close to when you need to go to work.

For instance, I used to work 18:00 - 06:00, so after work would do a bit of grocery shopping, make my dinner to take to work, and go to bed at 10:00 or so.

Would get up around 16:30, have a shower and fight traffic go to work...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

My phone is on DND from 10.20pm to 9am (I manually turn it off when I wake up if earlier than that but my previous cut off of 7am started disrupting my weekend lie ins!). I have my parents, ex (kids dad), brother and both kids as favourites who would get through anyway, in case of emergency.

If there was an emergency while you slept during the day, wouldn't your DH alert you?

[Xiaoxiong]

Similar to everyone else - at night my phone is set that only phone calls (like actual telephone calls) from my parents, MIL and DH can get through. Everything else is muted. I used to have the family whatsapp group as well while we were waiting for my nephew to be born a few years ago but then my mum and brother had a long conversation between them while they were in a time zone 9 hours ahead of me, the phone was vibrating practically all night so now whatsapp is muted completely as well.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

Ahh well, I'm giving up for now, Im just driving myself crazy, I'm going to turn the hose on and sit under it 😂

Thanks again everyone for the different views, im going to need match sticks later!

[safariboot]

YABU to object to the messages. It's your own job to silence your phone when you don't want to be disturbed.

YANBU to complain in the strongest possible terms about the meeting time.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

No, DH is a bit useless when it comes to passing on messages, someone could have a serious issue, and when I ask him why he didn't tell me, he will say, I thought you were sleeping. Can't win with him

[Gogogadgetarms]

Yeah I put mine on aeroplane mode when I go to bed and turn it off when I’m up. Mainly because the school WhatsApp group used to wake me up.
If it’s a family emergency I have a landline so I’m not too concerned.

[BertiesLanding]

@Alwaysoutofreach

Do people really cut all contact from the world when they sleep?

Im quite shocked how many completely switch off to sleep.

We do. I'm surprised that you're surprised!

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I feel like a genius, a slightly crazy one!!!

Ive managed to put my curtains in a sort of tunnel, so the albeit light, but coolish breeze hits directly on my side of the bed, cool shower and hopefully sleeeeeep

[EvaHoffman]

I'm in SE London too and I can vouch for the fact that it's truly unbearable at the moment. Not just that it's been well over 30 degrees for a while now and very humid but also the air quality is awful. There are many more cars on the road than before lockdown I guess because people are avoiding public transport and/or not car sharing. The air smells bad and weighs heavily on my chest. The particles are visible on windowsills.

I am exhausted just working from home doing normal hours so I really empathise OP.

[Jarofflies]

I feel for you OP. My ex boss was terrible for trying to contact us, and expecting us to come into meetings after nightshifts. It's hard enough to sleep at the best of times, never mind when you are at melting point.

Quitting that job was the best move I ever made!

[5050not]

Not sure if someone suggested it but if you wet a pair of socks and put them on it really cools you down!

[Jayaywhynot]

I bought a cold pad that pets lay on in the heat and lay my head on it, when it gets warm just turn it over, they are about £5 from pet shops and B&M sell them.
Also a floor standing fan, no bed covers and naked (God help any burglars, they'd be scarred for life)

[Tumbleweed101]

Your manager is on a day shift trying to make sure everyone knows about the meeting. They will have assumed you would have turned off your phone while you’re sleeping, just as I do when I’m on an early shift and don’t want my teens messaging me at midnight!

Who do you need to be able to contact you while you’re sleeping
that you leave it on vibrate? Is there anyone else able to deal with this for the 7 hours or so you need to sleep?

Unfortunately most people will be doing their work or activities in day hours so it’s more important that ever you can turn your phone off.

[CooperLooper]

Hang on a minute. I don't think you're being unreasonable in the slightest by expecting your line manager to not contact you on your personal phone just after a night shift. I think that's out of order! She can contact you via work emails/work phones and you can respond during your working hours.

I'd have to say something in this instance. She probably hasn't realised her mistake, but she also won't realise it unless you say something to her.

[Gobbycop]

You're angry at yourself. For not muting your phone.

[Devlesko]

Nobody calls me when I'm sleeping, they can bloody wait if they do.
Yes, just turn phone or silent with no vibrate.

[Evilwasps]

I put my phone on do not disturb and only allow the school number to be able to contact me in case of emergency. Anything else, including work meetings, can wait.

[BlueJava]

I hear you with the noise outside and heat but:
Phone off - no sound and no vibrate
Thick curtain/blinds to keep the heat out
Earplugs
Fan on

[JinglingHellsBells]

Do people really cut all contact from the world when they sleep?
Im quite shocked how many completely switch off to sleep.

How do you think people managed in the days before mobiles?
When I was a child, we were one of the only families in our road with a landline! And that was because I had an allergy that would necessitate a 999 call.

Neighbours used to come to our house and pay to use our phone instead of walking to the phone box.

So I guess you are too young to know the 'olden days' :)

Unless you are paid to be on call 24/7 and are simply indispensable (like the PM or someone) SWITCH IT OFF.