To be pissed with messages after nightshift

[Alwaysoutofreach]

I have just finished night 4 of 6 nightshifts,
I am an absolute mess, im getting max 3hrs sleep a day, im SE London, its been absolutely scorching since Thursday last week 30s+, hard enough to sleep in at night, let alone during the day, with the added noise of daily life and people enjoying the weather.

This morning, I had been asleep for maybe an hour, 4hrs after my shift had finished (and I stayed late) and my phone starts going off.

Its my manager, informing me, and my team about a meeting on Thursday just after noon, wanting responses from everyone, so of course, new group, no notifications set up, everyone replying, I'm awake, my phone rarely goes off, my family know when im at work, and I woke in a panic that something had happened and now, im sat here, my rooms absolutely baking, 2 ceiling fans going, windows open wide, curtains open for the light breeze, door open, sleep is not happening, I could fry an egg in here!!

Im furious, the more I sit here not sleeping, the more annoyed I get.

Not only because my manager has woken me up (gr?) but also that I now have to try and be present for a meeting after day 6 of nightshift 7hrs after my shift finishes.

I want to message her back (privately away from the group) to make a point of this, it isn't the first time, and frankly, I've had enough, im sleep deprived, hot and bothered, and feeling stupidly fragile, but all my messages are sounding PA or rude.

Any magic sleeping in heatwave recipes? 😭

[museumum]

@Alwaysoutofreach

Do people really cut all contact from the world when they sleep?

Im quite shocked how many completely switch off to sleep.

Yes, absolutely. How do you sleep otherwise?

[KickAssAngel]

If you can't sleep, can you at least settle down for some quiet contemplation? Leave your phone in another room, get as comfortable as possible, and give yourself an hour or two when you'll sit/lie quietly, eyes shut, thinking only about peaceful, calm, positive things. You may not get to sleep, but you will feel more able to cope with the rest of the day.

[ClamDango]

I would have thought most people switch off their phones or adjust their settings when they sleep, why do you need contact from the world when you're asleep? Its just different because you're sleeping during the day. I wouldn't send any messages through to your manager, presumably she added you to the group as you work there and have your phone number. Just leave a note saying it's your sleep time and you may not be able to join in the video chat, ask her to leave you the meeting admin number if its on wattsapp so you can join in if you want to at the time.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

@Wankpuffin that's why I am scared to shut my phone off, its always when your battery runs out, or you leave your phone in the car/at home something happened, it would keep me awake worrying.. Also my issue, but why I couldn't just shut off.

[Sidewinder30]

Yes, of course people cut off incoming texts/msgs/calls while they sleep. You should, too. Set up do not disturb and sleep peacefully.

[EvenMoreFuriousVexation]

Another option if you can't or don't want to use DND with priority contacts allowed, is to turn off your wifi and data on your phone when you go to bed. That way you'll still get calls and texts, but notifications like Whatsapp won't come through.

I used to work night shift for on call once, for about 6 months. I reckon it took me a good 3 years after leaving before a phone call in the night stopped generating a huge bolt of adrenaline... thus leaving me unable to go back to sleep.

Regarding this meeting, I'd personally say I wouldn't be able to attend due to coming off a week of nights, but you look forward to listening to the recording/catching up with her personally at a time that suits you both better.

I wouldn't say anything about the phone notifications. As you can see from PPs' reactions, most people will assume you have your phone on DND if you're sleeping.

[supersop60]

I didn't know there was such a thing as DND on my phone till I saw it on MN!
OP you can choose who disturbs you - family, for instance.
Re sleeping - cold damp towel, a dog's cooling mat, have the windows open and fan on BUT shut the door so that the cool air doesn't immediately escape, get an air conditioning unit (ours has a box in which you put a big block of ice, and the air passes over it)

[Mmsnet101]

YANBU, it's tough enough being a nightshift worker in a day shift world, but worse in this heat!

I often have to contact members of staff doing a variety of shifts and for this reason I either leave notes for them to get next shift, send an email or do individual messages for those on a particular pattern because otherwise its impossible to get a time that suits, early late and nightshift!

The meeting may be at that time for the same reason or its genuinely not occurred to your manager so I think you do need to raise it. Its one thing putting your phone off, another to have to attend work meetings that interrupt your sleep regularly!

[Alwaysoutofreach]

Unfortunately, its quite an important meeting, theres going to be changes made to the way we work for the next 2 months, if Im not part of the call, I have absolutely no say in what changes take place for me, I have a few questions, concerns and suggestions, so I really do need to be there, I just hope I can be rational, and not a jittery mess.

Thankfully, my drive to work is short, im contemplating getting DH to drop me in, but on that note, I am going to use some of the suggestions here and try to sleep

Thanks for the different views 😊

[Brefugee]

what are the rules about nightshifts in civilian life? I used to work shifts in the army and when we came off a night shift we had up to 2pm (yeah, 14:00 hrs) to sleep - after that we were considered "fair game". Are there any working time directives you can point your boss to? you have 2 shifts to go - she's a fucker.

Deffo have words about it.

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

You need to put this automatic message on your phone for all work colleagues.

"I am unable to take your call right now. If you have a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 999. If it is not an emergency, please wait until you see me in person and discuss the matter with me then. Please note that due to various commitments, I am unable to agree to any shift changes."

Thats what I had to do - the contact out of work just kept getting sillier and sillier until one colleague actually rang me when I was off duty about a misplaced cushion. Yes thats right, she thought it was ok to contact me out of work because there was a cushion she couldn't find. I've stopped all that nonsense dead now with my automatic response.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Do people really cut all contact from the world when they sleep?

Yes! Phones in the kitchen overnight, usually from 6pm onwards. We never ever take them upstairs!

Good luck getting yourself in the right frame of mind/awake enough for the meeting

[Brefugee]

also your boss should not be setting meetings when you're sleeping off nights. Tell her to take a hike and have the meeting at 4pm.
and yes. I switch off my phone when i want to sleep - i find people who don't really odd, tbh.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

And queue neighbours with the Kango, I absolutely kid you not 😂

I did bad things in my old life ha

[ddl1]

YANBU to object to your manager insisting on prompt responses. Especially if people are on different shifts, he should not expect everyone to be active and responsive at the same time.

YABU to object to your manager sending the messages at all. People write messages when they have time and resources to do so; and, again especially if people are on different shifts, any time is going to be inconvenient for somebody. I think it should be the recipient's responsibility to have their phone in a different room from where they sleep and/or to put it on 'do not disturb', rather than the sender's responsibility to avoid sending messages at a time when someone might be disturbed.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

@Brefugee Ive taken a few calls through the night to family and friends not in a good way, I guess I view myself being available differently because of that, but during the day, I guess it doesn't feel as much as an importance because there are a lot more people awake, and resources available then.

Everyone is different, I feel better for typing out about 25 PA replies and not sending them anyway, she's probably sat there watching Alwaysoutofreach typing... For the past hour thinking I'm typing an essay.

[ddl1]

'Do people really cut all contact from the world when they sleep?'

Yes. That's what sleep is for. Everyone needs a time to switch off from the world, though different people may do so at different times.

[ClamDango]

Do not tell your manager to take a hike or reschedule. There are other staff who will be on nights off, annual leave, days off,due on nights. I thought the meeting was a call meeting

[CoRhona]

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and only allow calls from certain contacts

This. Set it so the friends and family you wouldn't mind being woken by are there, everyone else won't get through.

I have it set up with my DC, DH and DM to get through and no-one else - glad I did as we had a non urgent call this morning whilst I was still asleep.

[Alwaysoutofreach]

The meeting is a call meeting, I am working from site though, there are Only 6 of us, Thursday is the only night we do not cover, so I see why it was arranged that day, although Friday morning would have seemed a better day, as the new shift starts that night.

On a normal shift, it would not have phased me, but this time it feels like there was little thought into the time, it was scheduled earlier, but the HR guy couldn't get in, so it was rescheduled, hence the message this morning.

[BikeRunSki]

When I’m sleeping in the day after night shifts my phone is off and in a different room!

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

Cue neighbours with the Kango. 🤣 Or are they in a queue?

[Alwaysoutofreach]

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite
No, 5 neighbours in a queue with kangos 😂😂

No, cue, I was doing so well 🤣

[MsMD]

Working night shift there are several things we cannot control that make it hard. The hot weather, other peoples noise, traffic etc.

YABU to complain about the 1 thing you can control - your phone. Turn notifications off but leave the ringtone on for emergencies if you're that concerned.

[Z8Z8]

@Alwaysoutofreach

I have each group set up to vibrate or muted, maybe I am being unreasonable then, because I wouldn't shut of my only way of being contacted in an emergency just incase my boss wakes me.

Can you set up the do not disturb function. You apply exceptions, so could still be contacted by family (or whoever you're happy to be woken for)