I am financially screwed. I really need advice

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I have never been bad with money. I’m not well off at all but I moved out at 18 after saving hard for a deposit. I’ve lived in various places and I have never been late on rent or bills. For a few years I constantly had above £5,000 in savings.

I was in a relationship during this time but in the last couple of years my ex lost his job and just didn’t bother looking for a new one. I had to pay everything alone and used up all my savings to support ourselves and him. He then cheated on me, and left. I couldn’t afford the rent any longer so moved to a cheaper place. I ended up having to take a loan out to support myself. Since then I’ve constantly been in debt. I’ve always been self-employed but for a long time was PAYE, I have a chronic illness and so when I had to go of sick/have operations I didn’t get any sick pay. I then ended up taking out a large overdraft and am constantly stuck in it. I feel like such a failure now and I hate how I’ve borrowed so much money.

After getting pregnant I decided to move closer to my family with my partner because my mental health was suffering and I needed support. I couldn’t move in with them because they don’t have the space. For a while I was doing okay, I even managed to get out of my overdraft and save £4,000 for rent stability after having my baby.

When I had my baby I went on maternity for a few weeks and my partner wasn’t working for a few weeks to support me because I had quite bad mental health. I didn’t qualify for a self-employment grant due to having been PAYE. I couldn’t afford to stay on maternity so decided to start working again. I’m a writer and do many good money when I get commissioned and have a few long-term relationships with editors so get frequent work. However I’m constantly having to wait for invoices to be paid so I’m always in my overdraft until I get paid and then it goes on bills.

My partner is working part time so that we don’t have to pay for childcare. I am the higher earner so he has DS when I work and vice versa.

I am working as much as I physically can while dealing with my mental health and having a new baby (he’s 17 weeks now).

But I just can’t get out of this debt, and my anxiety is horrendous right now because I’m constantly worrying about rent. I can’t move to a cheaper place because I can’t afford another deposit!

I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on this? I’m going to include a breakdown of my bills in case that helps.

Rent: £950
Council tax: £180
Car insurance: £140
Loan repayment: £150
Car finance (I took this out when I was financially stable and could afford it): £130
Electric/gas: £62
TV licence: £11
Water: Not sure as they got our water bill wrong
Internet: £22
Phone bill: £50

I got declined CBT on the NHS so I’m having to pay £70 a week for that too, and £30 a week therapy. These are absolutely vital to me as I am struggling so much that I honestly don’t think I’d be able to work without it.

I’ve stopped paying for things like Netflix and amazon. Phone/finance was taken out when I could afford it.

Bar these things I rarely spend money on myself and any money I do have leftover goes on things for my baby.

If anyone has any advice I would be so grateful, anything I can check prices on, debt advice, things I could cancel, anything like that?

Thank you

@skylarkdescending I think he can up a shift, so he is going to ask. He works in retail so it’s really dependent on whether there is the overtime because so many new people have been employed. I basically have to work any time he’s home because I am the one earning more money.

As @Namechange880 says, post a statement of incomings/outgoings at MSE Debt-free wannabe board, and they will suggest savings. They have lots of experts there who can help you to become solvent again.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/debt-free-wannabe

Good luck!

Sorry, clicked post, you sorn, cancel insurance and have third party fire and theft only, should be huge saving for you

You need to explore the PIP claim again.
It is not just around physical mobility. If you have OCD and that causes you problems in day to day living then you need to explain how it impacts on you.
The government were taken to task two or three years ago about not weighting mental health issues as much as physical issues so I really feel it is something you should look at again.

If you have a small child (or are pregnant) you are prioritised for IAPT which is the service which offers CBT through the GP. I would suggest going back, explaining how much of a stress this is for you, how you are putting yourself under financial strain to pay privately. When you describe how you are doing, think of how you are/could be on your very worst day.

Therapy - that's a lot - have you looked at local charities, reapplying for NHS, or going less frequently? Isn't CBT relatively short term - how long does that continue for?
Car insurance - I live in central London and pay about £300 pa (although that is after NCB). I once looked at adding someone on who was a police officer - reduced my payments substantially, even though she'd passed her test years previously and never driven in the intervening period (changed my mind after I found out that bit).

I've not used it, but I've seen responses to similar threads recommend a budget planning tool/advice on the Money Savings Expert website

ALso, some charities offer debt advice - I know that Quaker Social Action do - mostly focussed on East London.

the government WAS not were

MN doesn't let me add links, but if you Google 'FCA car finance' you will see the requirements that car finance companies had to agree to during lockdown. These still apply. You can get a payment holiday, or they are not allowed to unfairly penalise you for ending the agreement early.
www.fca.org.uk/news/press-releases/fca-proposes-help-motor-finance-high-cost-credit-customers-coronavirus

& good luck with getting to a more financially secure place - the stress can't be doing a lot for your MH

@CastleCrasher

Sorry, clicked post, you sorn, cancel insurance and have third party fire and theft only, should be huge saving for you

Can you have tpf&t if the car has finance outstanding?

I will definitely explore PIP again. Having no large bowel means I can’t look for out of the house work because i embarrassingly suffer with incontinence if I can’t make it to the toilet in time (used to have a stoma bag, which I’d never got rid of it).

Try posting here...
forums.moneysavingexpert.com/categories/debt-free-wannabe

They have plenty of great posters who deal with this sort of thing every day.

If your partner does the driving, why isn't he already on the insurance?! Surely you won't be covered if he has an accident?

Also, if he does all the driving, then it makes more sense for him to be main driver and you just named, doesn't it?

@category12 He has his own car

Move your loan to one with low interest, or get a credit card that gives you free balance transfer, and once moved, cut the credit put card up.

It's a long shot, but if your partner could find a live in job with accommodation, that would mean you could breathe again. Caretakers, drivers, pub staff, hotel workers, farm labourer jobs sometimes come with accommodation. Obviously various standards and you might not love it, but could cope for a year.

Try TURN2US.

Well respected charity that can help with planning and benefit claims and general money planning.

It would probably be best to get budgets set with a third party.

Good luck and but most of all.....well done for trying to sort things out before things get out of hand.

@areallthenamesusedup thank you for the advice and kind words.

Does your partner own his car outright? If he does, sell that one and just have yours between you.

Highly unlikely you can sell and then pay off finance, you have to settle the finance and then sell - which probably isn’t doable. Depending on your agreement you may be able to voluntarily terminate and hand back the car. This doesn’t damage your credit rating despite what you might hear. I’ve done it without issue, beware - they might sting you for minor damage repairs on pick up. Think alloy wheel dings, paint chips etc.

Your therapy is £400 per month! That's a huge amount. Can you do every other week?

Your rent is pricey but perhaps it's where you live. What does your partner bring in and does he share any of it?

You're getting good advice on here OP, I just want to wish you well, Stepchange were very helpful when I struggled a few years ago, through a change in circumstances.
This will pass - and you're right in tackling this.

@category12 yes he does. I will talk to him about it, thank you

Check entitlement to universal credit.

Apply for housing register and bid on new build properties you have a local connection too. Do your research.

@SophieB100 Thank you very much.

@Boredbumhead Currently £700 a month, and yes everything we earn goes into one account.