AIBU to buy DD birthday present even though DH doesn’t want me to?

[somethingunpredictable2012]

DD age 7 absolutely loves Disney Descendants films at the moment, she’s never usually into anything like this, so this year it has been nice to have some specific ideas for her birthday next month. She has asked for “Mal’s Spell Book” from the films and a dress up costume. I can’t get the costume as they are out of stock and I have lost out on second hand ones online. I have part of an outfit so I think she will be pleased with that, but DH doesn’t want me to get her “Mal’s Spell Book” from the film as he comes from a religious family and considers it to be ‘occult’ content, he also doesn’t like talk of magic or tooth fairies etc. either! I’m not religious at all and I don’t have a problem with any of this so I usually just talk to him about how it’s just pretend fun and he comes round to the idea, but not this time! He doesn’t have a problem with her watching the films, just doesn’t want her to have a “spell book”. I have explained it’s a Disney book and is just basically the story of the film with sort of diary entries from the characters, but it does have some “spells” written inside which is the part he doesn’t like so he says she can’t have it. I have it in my Amazon basket but know he will be furious if I buy it. But also it’s the only thing other than a dress up costume my DD has asked for, so either she’s disappointed or DH is angry on her birthday. Do I just buy it?

Buy it, see it’s as prep for when she gets into Harry Potter

Don't buy anything without sitting down and talking to him about it tonight. Ask him how he would feel if he did buy it for her? Would you like it if he bought something that offended you?

Er yeah! He’s an idiot!

You*

How would you feel if he went behind your bank on something he sees as a fundamental belief? Especially if you did it and just presented it to her on her birthday, it could effectively ruin the whole day for her depending on his reaction. Which IMO is a horrible thing for you to do, especially when he said no. Fair enough have another chat. Can you buy the book and show him what is in it? And point out it’s just silly stories etc

Can you not get her something else related to the film?

DD had Mal's Diary - could be a compromise if you wanted to compromise? I think I would if DH really felt strongly, but that's your choice, obviously

What will he do once she's into Harry Potter>? And Hallow'een? And all that vampire rubbish? If you're not raising her in Christian fundamentalism, is he even that bothered and maybe only wants to avoid upsetting his parents? In which case I'd definitely order! I'd find it hard to have much respect for this kind of nonsense. (Despite my deep loathing all things Disney - but kids are allowed to like rubbish!)

It's not good to go behind his back tbh. I'm sure he's lovely in other ways, but personally I couldn't be married to someone with such bonkers mediaeval attitudes! I'd be having a very serious talk with him about allowing those beliefs to affect his child.

He needs to grow up.

My daughter loves it to. Has Mals jacket and Evies bag. It's not occult at all, it's just disney magic. We all need that in our lives.

How can you be married to such an idiotic man? This doesn't bode well for the future.

Buy it. Does your husband think shes going to turn into a witch 🙄

Sounds like she won't need a toad spell then..
Miserable git..

I wouldn't buy it,

I would respect his religious beliefs. There are other Mal items you can get her. Even though it is "just Disney" there are people who sincerely object to the fairies, evil witches and spells they contain. My granddaughter's paternal grandmother is one of those people. Some Disney is fine (Winnie the Pooh, Bambi, The Aristocats, The Fox and the Hound, etc.) but not the ones with magical characters.

I would be telling him that he had better come to terms with the fact that your daughter has her own interests and beliefs, and she has the right to explore them. Age appropriate interests, obviously. This will become more of an issue as she gets older, and you can't sit by and let him control or bully her.

It's all very well for people yo tell him to "grow up" but he hasn't suddenly acquired these beliefs- OP married him knowing how he feels.

OP, I think you need to talk some more rather than going behind his back. This fundamental difference between you isn't going to go away and needs sorting. Like others say, it will crop up again and again.

He needs to clarify his thinking because currently he's not being consistent. Being ok with dd seeing the film and dressing up as a character from the film but not allowing spell book is not really logical.

Bahahahahha.

She's going to lead him a merry dance when she's a teenager.

I would respect his religious beliefs.

What about the op's and her daughter's beliefs or lack thereof? Why do his beliefs trump theirs? If he doesn't like magical things he can choose not to watch or read them.

Bloody hell, that's crazy

You married him and had a child with him so you've signed up to all that he is including his religion, even if you think it's batshit.
What did you discuss about how you would raise your DD in terms of beliefs? What happens about Halloween?
I'm atheist but I don't think it would be fair to buy something he is really uncomfortable with at least without attempting a discussion.

I think you need to respect his religious beliefs and look for something else from the film.

It’s hard, and he needs to not be so anal about it, but is it really worth the falling out over it?

I don't think you should buy it against his wishes. But in that case, HE needs to be in charge of finding and buying DD's present, and it needs to be something she'll really like!

I wouldn’t buy it behind his back, I would buy it openly. Tell him to grow up, and that is he thinks a Disney book has occult powers that is his own issue. Did you agree to raise your children with wacko beliefs?

To the people saying “how would you feel If he bought somehhring you found offensive”—if it was something like this, I would want my partner to call me out for being ridiculous and expect me to make sensible decisions for my children. Stand up to him on this now, you really don’t want to go down this path.

Tell your DH to grow up and buy your DD the present she has asked for. I can't stand parents that try to force children to like/dislike/believe the same as them.