Friend driving us up the walls.

[Brot64]

Read a somewhat similar post here last night but cannot find it, so cannot contribute or ask what needs asking.

I have been bombarded with messages, text and emails, from a friend of ours since 6am this morning. I always wake up at 5am so the issue is not the time, more the messages. It's all covid related, conspiracy based articles, PDF's anti vaccine re:covid, how our society is being hijacked, how the world is being reset, how wearing masks is causing ill health particularly dental, the list is endless, followed by numerous messages. He also knows my mother, who use to be a virologist but is now a neuropathologist though not here , and has bombarded her with numerous emails some in which he has stated that the work she did and does is a hoax particularly in relation to virology (she wrote numerous published articles and he seems to be very interested in).

As she has not been responding he asked me to forward and discuss a report with her, we didn't actually discuss it but to calm him (I know, terrible) I did say we have and it's all the same conspiracy view. I have been responding so might have fuelled this, however I have clearly stated that I am not interested in reading anymore of the articles.

DH suggests it's time to call quits on the friendship. We have been friends since university, and all was well until covid and his recent separation. I have very much enjoyed our friendship but now I dread hearing from him. We cannot seem to speak about anything else aside from this. Am I being insensitive here? If you wouldn’t end the friendship, what approach would you take considering that simply telling him, we have different views and I wouldn’t be reading anymore of these articles doesn’t seem to have any effect on him?

It always annoys me when someone sends me multiple emails as if the world were about to end. Fortunately I use my own domain for most of my email addresses so there is a way to block the actual IP address at deep server level. That way I dont even get to see the messages or know if they tried to reach me.

I might unblock them a few weeks later which will give them the opportunity to get their claws into someone else.

"Oh yeah - been away touring. Took another phone with me."

He really doesn't sound well.

Good on you for blocking him and I'm pleased that you're chatting to Ex as someone really should be trying to advocate for him to get assessed. Admittedly, it's not her job either - does he have other friends / family who can step in??

@Clumsyvolcano, you are extremely comfortable in your beliefs, aren't you?

I don't personal subscribe to any of those conspiracy theories because I can't be arsed, but not because of my powers of critical thinking, considering that I am not a virologist or epidemiologist.

I do find it very irritating that Bill Gates is always being interviewed about the need for a vaccine, considering he couldn't even design a virus-free computer program.

It sounds like a mental breakdown :( Glad you're speaking to the ex.

@Coyoacan I have said pretty much the same as others here, in that since he is clearly well educated I would expect him to have good rationale so he sounds like he isn’t well.

The ability to debate and have differences of opinion is different to calling others thick or bombarding people with messages and emails that don’t add up and are clearly nonsense as they are contradictory, etc., which is the response I had had when I have tried to have a reasonable debate with people and seems similar to the OP, albeit not so extreme.

It’s normal for conspiracy theories to surface during times of uncertainty and fear, though.

His comment to you about what would your husband think of you would have had me spitting feathers and now that you have said he is particularly hounding women it is even more concerning. Your mother is a better woman than me as I would have reported him to his work and professional body for the number of e-mails and the content thereof that he sent to her. The comments regarding the nationality of your mother are disgusting.

[quote Clumsyvolcano]@JingsMahBucket yes, quite, although I would think also most graduates would have the intellectual ability to understand whether something adds up or not. I’m maybe a bit naive.

The amount of times I have been called ‘thick’ for giving perfectly rational and logical replies to conspiracy theories is Unbelieveable, all while they are posting their nonsense that anyone with half a brain cell knows doesn’t make sense and passing it off as ‘’evidence’’ and telling me to wake up

There is no reasoning with these people, they will hopefully realise just how silly they are one day.[/quote]
Graduates can become mentally ill too.

I also think it somewhat ironic that the conspiracy theorists call everybody 'sheeple', yet they are the ones who are blindly following 'evidence' produced by other conspiracy theorists, and believe every word of it.

@Clumsyvolcano. Fair enough.

I’m glad you’re speaking to his ex since you mentioned them having children!

@cringeworthit I know graduates can become unwell and the likelyhood is with his break up and what’s currently going on in the world at the moment that is what has caused it.

I’ve stated that I think he should get help.

Usually though, if you conclude that somebody needs help because they believe in conspiracies, they throw abuse at you ‘how dare you suggest I’m not well!’

The best course of action is just to block him. It’s too much.

This sounds very much like a mental health disorder. Hoping someone will come along with a suggestion but he really needs help. Does he have siblings? I think you said he was not really in contact with parents. But I hope you can find a way to not worry too much (easier said than done).

Crikey. You have done the right thing. Hope he gets the support he clearly needs, but it doesnt need to be you providing it. I would contact his parents though. They deserve to know and might have more sway in getting him professional help.

If you have been close friends I can see that you would want to help him to get help. His family and his work are likely to have already noticed. I had this with a friend. Not conspiracy but wild ideas and accusing family of not listening. I did try to get them to consider that their behaviour was not normal and they might need to seek help. This led to her storming off and going missing. It had to reach crisis point and the police etc involved. If his family are aware then there may be no more you can do.

He sounds like a danger to himself and others. Be very careful

Just off the phone speaking to his ex. I made notes in my notes because it was so much and I need to have a record so will copy paste in three messages as it's too long.

Firstly:
Spoke to Ex for almost an hour. She has made clear that this started around April and is very much aware and equally shocked. Now I wasn’t attacked by him since April so was unaware. It is also the main reason she asked him to leave, and police were called at the point because he did not want to leave. Apparently he woke up one morning having researched Covid since the lockdown which she wasn’t too concerned about as at the beginning it was normal reading of news etc. and was a totally different person.

He did not want to comply with any of the restrictions and expected that she would follow his new rules which he actually wrote out and stuck on the fridge, he was watching conspiracy theories extensively on YouTube. He has become totally anti vaccine to the extend that he does not want their children vaccinated for anything anymore, he barely sleeps because he is always online searching for the “truth”. He got rid of their TV because he does not believe in mainstream media, and because he follows some Australian conspiracy theorist online who advised so.

Further :

He made his son cough into his other son’s mouth to proof that viruses are non existent and that was her final straw. This is because some research was apparently conducted in this manner and none of the participants got infected. This was based on research apparently conducted on the Spanish flu. She had nothing good to say, she has not seen him for a month and neither have the children, he is erratic about everything in life but weirdly still manages to work. His parents are aware but have not seen him either. She’s bombarded with emails and YouTube links too and no threat of police seems to bother him because he knows his rights.

This new rage seems to be targeted at women as he has discounted anything she has said since this started happening and the only affected people seem to be women. All their male friends have not experienced this. He is going around calling anyone who doesn’t take his point of view naive, illiterate, uneducated etc this seems to be limited to women. Although some days he functions and seems to be totally rational and normal. He will not get help even though she suggested it because he does not believe he has a problem and is convinced the people who do not conform to his new found beliefs are the problem. He believes Germans and Bill Gates are behind Covid. Why she doesn’t know.

She also mentioned that she cannot help me aside from telling me how it is and to keep away because she’s more concerned about her children and the divorce that she is proceeding with.

He sounds like a friend of mine who was in the middle of a psychotic break. It has not ended well and years later their delusions are still strong despite a lot of intervention. It must have been terrifying for her.

I think he’s very unwell. This isn’t about conspiracy theories but it sound like schizophrenia. I think you should contact his ex who could then contact a parent.

Oh and we have yet again received an email on work email from him in response to the fuck off DH message saying: "Brot, simmer down. I imagine you are antsy with me. No need to involve the husband. You are not a child." Coffee?

He's definitely unwell. I would suggest in a manic episode of a bipolar type illness. I would suggest again talking to the police as they may be able to do a welfare check or even refer for a mental health act assessment if necessary.

Your response to that has got to be FUCK OFF

You need to block him now. Don't engage.

Blimey! That was a read and a half.

Ironic he says no need to involve the husband . . . When he brought him up. And emailed a joint email address!

I think a swift response of - "Please stop contacting me in any way shape of form. I am concerned for your mental health and the way in which you are treating women around you and this is making me fear for my safety. If you contact me again, I will be contacting the police for harassment. I truly hope you get some help. Brot."

Then completely ignore. His poor ex though - imagine having to live with someone who is so clearly having issues, and him putting kids at risk.

Honestly, op, fuck this madness! He is unhinged, potentially dangerous, and I would be reporting him to the police with every scrap of evidence you have. Enough is enough. I would be getting a non-molestation order as soon as possible.

Sorry crossed post. Glad you spoke to ex. At least you’ve tried to get to know what’s happening for him. There’s not much else you can do but block him. I’d let him know that you are not taking anymore messages from him though.