I can't cope

[Dancingonmylonesome]

Toddler on a day out. Screaming hitting running at cars crying. Sat in the car with him bloody pointless day out. Staying in the house from now on

That sounds tough OP. Do you have someone to help out when you’re out and about? Do you have any quieter / less busy places you can do to until your child is old enough to follow instructions more reliably?

Too hot and too tired?

Go home, have toddler have a splash around in a cool bath, quiet DVD.

Tomorrow is another day.

I'm with friends all their kids are enjoying it. How embarrassing

Told my husband whether our 3 yr old enjoys the day or doesn’t it will always end in tears- sad she hated it/ sad it has to end etc...but we still have days out (Least my house stays cleaner) and hope one day it will get easier. You have my sympathies

Sometimes it's just not worth taking little kids out, more stress than fun.

It's really hot at the moment OP and toddlers can be capricious at the best of times. I'd say bye to your friends, go home and relax. Maybe he's not sleeping well and is tired. Maybe he's just having a bad day. Deep breath

Not going out again. There is no point

My eldest was like this as a toddler. Once he was a little older we realised that he needs to understand where we are going and what we were doing and what behaviour he couldn’t do whilst we were there. It became much much easier and now he is fine as long as don’t spring any surprises. He got much easier around the age of 3 when he understood more.

I remember how hard it was so Hang in there.

Would it help if we shared stories of times our kids have been total asshats?

Couple of days ago, had to leave pub beer garden in a hurry after DS8 hit DH and shouted 'I hate you'. Walk of shame past lots of families with well behaved, smiling DC all enjoying the sun. Very much like that bit in We Need to Talk about Kevin, when she realised they had become That Family, the one that everyone stares at.

No need to be embarrassed, Everyone knows toddlers are dicks sometimes. Just take him home and have quiet time, try again another day.
I say having way more experience than I'd like at carrying screaming toddlers out of public areas while the world stares.

It's too hot now for little ones to be outside I think. I took my toddlers out this morning but we were back for 12noon.

Head home, TV on/or toddler nap, and try another day

I foster and the other day the foster kids’ social worker rang me to chat about something right at the minute my own birth daughter, aged 3, was in the middle of an epic tantrum and screaming blue murder while I tried to talk on the phone! So yeah, bet he came away from that phone call really confident that I can cope with all the kids!

My eldest was the same OP. My friends little ones behaved lovely and i had to nearly always leave early because he was just awful. He’s 12 now, new set of challenges!

Now hes watching tv at home and that's what well be doing every since day now.

I feel you op it's so tough. The heat really doesn't help. Tomorrow is a new day - maybe work your way up slowly to a day out again.

How old is your toddler? I understand you are fed up but it is unrealistic and won't aid their development to just stay in and watch tv. Are they used to being in a group with other people? There could be a number of reasons why your toddler was stressed. Just keeping them inside away from others isn't going to help.

Also - I only ever feel sorry for other parents with screaming children, there would have been no judgement

I'm pretty sure she's speaking out of frustration @BlueSuffragette and doesn't actually mean it. A bit of understanding wouldn't go amiss.

I recently changed my job to WFH to spend more time with my kids. I miss my old job and my old team but thought it would be worth it for stability for my boys. I took them to the park on one of the afternoons I finished early and my DS7 had a major strop and shouted "I wouldn't behave like this if you spent more time with me". Kids are arse holes.

The day before he had behaved impeccably on a day out with friends while my friends son played up all day. They all do it sometimes.

I've been there op, when it feels like everyone else's child behaves but yours doesn't. It's hard, you wonder what the point of making the effort is as it's hard work and no one enjoys themselves.

DS is now 4 and it does get easier. Be kind to yourself, I'm sure everyone is hot and uncomfortable. Dig in until bed time and hope you have a better day tomorrow.

You friends won't be judging you, they'll just be pleased it's not their little darling being a knob today.

Have a couple of days at home, then try going out again, even if just a walk around the block.

It is tough when you have a 'spirited' toddler. My DD was a nightmare at that age, I promise you it gets better.

There could be a number of reasons why your toddler was stressed.

Nah, some of them are just arseholes at that age. DS2 was. He was never happy no matter what you did. He came out of it though but Mr Hyde is back now he's a teen. We just find it amusing to watch now. We were on a walk on holiday last week and there were some flies following him for a section across a cow field (proper buzzing around his head like a cartoon, probably because he's grumpy about having to shower too so doesn't do it often enough). He was walking ahead, really moaning non stop out load, waving his arms around, tutting, so over the top it was hilarious to watch from a distance. Just reminded me of when he was a little un. DS1, on the other hand, takes everything in his stride.

They are all different, some just show their feelings more, er, outwardly. Lucky for us, eh?

Ah OP I feel your pain, it's so hard, but not all kids find going out easy.

Just imagine being taken somewhere strange and not having any idea what was happening and whether you would ever get home again! Adventurous kids may love it, but ones that like order and predictability can find it hard.

One of mine two to get really disturbed going away from home and scream cry and fuss constantly, from about 6 months onwards. Then we realised that even though she was not yet talking, as a PP says above, she needed to be told what was happening in advance and have the plans explained. What we would see, what we would eat, etc. And in particular, to be confident that we would be coming home again. And we used to go over it again though the day. "Look, there are the swings we said about" "Now it is time for the sandwices" etc.

If got easier and easier as she learned to talk and understand more, but e were really at fault for forgetting she needed due warning, sometimes

(She's still a real home body at 20 - even though she loves being at uni, there's not place like home for her still! She's really good at planning and organising too - I think it realy is her personality)

The other one was always up for an adventure, and still is! (also - he's a bit of a captain chaos - has to work much harder to keep on top of things)

Different strokes for different folks, even from babyhood. But if you can make his days out more predictable and understandable for him by explaining everything in advance, it could really help

We call it the twatting twos or the twatting threes depending on actual age 😂 you have my sympathy. We’ve just got back from a pub lunch with the 10 month old. She decorated the carpet spectacularly with most of the dinner she was supposed to eat. Kids!