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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope

150 replies

Dancingonmylonesome · 09/08/2020 13:03

Toddler on a day out. Screaming hitting running at cars crying. Sat in the car with him bloody pointless day out. Staying in the house from now on

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 09:33

I was in an unhappy marriage so I left. He has minimal involvement and is difficult so i cant be arsed with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 09:37

Ffs I'm an adult

OP posts:
randomer · 10/08/2020 09:44

By phoning somebody and saying you are struggling you will immediately have gained something. The professional could give you suggestions, support and keep intouch with you. They may not have anything tangible to offer....they can't make the toddler behave well on a trip BUT they can help you from going under. They can help you stop seeing the wood for the trees.

Please do it today , please. Get an extra day at nursery to gather yourself together. Review your medication.

fascinated · 10/08/2020 09:46

Health visitor once came round to my house and gave me detailed instructions on how to deal with a tantrum. At about three hrs old. She said it is quite common. I wasn’t a natural, I was grateful for the help.

fascinated · 10/08/2020 09:47

@fascinated

Health visitor once came round to my house and gave me detailed instructions on how to deal with a tantrum. At about three hrs old. She said it is quite common. I wasn’t a natural, I was grateful for the help.
Oops - 3 years ! Tantrums at 3 hrs old would be... erm...unusual, I think!
ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2020 09:48

You are not the first parent to struggle. You have minimal support from your partner. We are in the middle of a pandemic so life is difficult. The HV should understand. Some toddlers are a lot harder than others. We breezed through terrible twos with DS, him turning 3 was a shock!

You need support. You never know your friends’ children could be hard work at home. I remember a friend saying to me I was so lucky as DS never cried as a baby, which he never did when we were out and about. But as soon as we got through the front door he always seem to wail, I thought he hated me, I think it was more likely he was tired but at the time I wasn’t always thinking rationally.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 09:50

I don't have partner

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2020 09:54

Sorry I meant father of DS not partner

candycane222 · 10/08/2020 10:52

Well not all health visitors are the same but hopefully first and foremost she would listen. You just need to tell her you are finding things tough, and take it from there I think.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 11:17

How the hell have I got myself in this situation. I should have known better. I'm not mum material

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2020 11:43

@Dancingonmylonesome you need to speak to someone in RL to give you support

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 11:58

Spoke to health visitor she was good.

OP posts:
randomer · 10/08/2020 11:59

@Dancingonmylonesome, I badly wanted children and thought I would have a lot to offer. Turns out I had depression and I couldn't cope at all. DM for more information.
You are OK, the little one is OK, you just need some support.

randomer · 10/08/2020 12:00

Great ! A first step!

ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2020 12:25

Well done

candycane222 · 10/08/2020 12:50

I'm glad she was helpful. Mine was very helpful over several years of small kids.

And that is absolutely wat they are there for.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 13:10
Sad
OP posts:
fascinated · 10/08/2020 13:26

I know. You still feel shit. Hang on in there...

Winter2020 · 10/08/2020 15:18

hi OP,
Horrible pit stop with my 2 year old today (on long journey) Lovely pub/ beer garden with play equipment. My son just wanted to put stones down the slide - making a terrible racket and blocking the slide. He wouldn't slide down the slide so had to ask kids to get off so I could retrieve him. I couldn't get him to stop so tried to have my drink bear hugging him and getting him to watch youtube on my phone. Didn't work. Left much hotter and more fed up than we arrived!

msflibble · 10/08/2020 16:33

We've all been there OP. Well, most of us anyway. The toddler years can be unbelievably tough. Spend a few days at home then brave it again. Your child will really benefit from it and unfortunately although TV works in the short term to give you some respite, in the long term using it as a strategy will only make things worse.

candycane222 · 10/08/2020 17:11

Oh dancing. Keep reaching out for help. You don't have to do this alone.

Sunrise234 · 10/08/2020 17:41

You friends won't be judging you, they'll just be pleased it's not their little darling being a knob today.

This.
I promise you OP that every single person who’s had a toddler has had to deal with this on many occasions.

I was a single parent and i know how difficult it is.
Is there anyone who can watch him for a couple of hours whilst you relax?

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 18:26

The health visitor asked me lots of questions about my ex. Shes obviously thinking safeguarding but theres nothing like that. Hes just an idiot

OP posts:
GenevaMaybe · 10/08/2020 18:29

We are on hols and my toddler has had about 27 tantrums so far. One time I cried. Doesn’t feel like a holiday at all when she’s like that!! They are all the same.

ineedaholidaynow · 10/08/2020 18:31

Did she offer you any help or support @Dancingonmylonesome?

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