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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope

150 replies

Dancingonmylonesome · 09/08/2020 13:03

Toddler on a day out. Screaming hitting running at cars crying. Sat in the car with him bloody pointless day out. Staying in the house from now on

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 18:38

She offered support about tantrums and safety etc on the phone. Shes going to phone me in a fortnight.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 18:38

I've been in crisis on off since my pregnancy so they know me

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Hotandknackered · 10/08/2020 18:48

It's very hot today op! Out with family and my 3 year old niece had a melt down about not being in front of us. (next to a busy road!) anyone who is truly your friend knows toddlers are awful sometimes. Also what pp said about it ending in tears regardless of whether they've had a good or bad day is totally true. Be kind to yourself.

Sunrise234 · 10/08/2020 20:09

If you didn’t have days where you felt down or couldn’t cope then I’d be more worried but by you realising and admitting you struggle is actually a positive thing.

I promise you things get easier as they get older. In the meantime don’t care what anyone else thinks about you and try and find time to take care of yourself - even if it’s just a relaxing bath in the evening or painting your nails.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 20:47

I'm just fed up of doing every drop off and pick up while my ex is out drinking

OP posts:
Sunrise234 · 10/08/2020 20:48

Does your ex see them at all?

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 20:56

Once a week while I'm at work. Hes stayed there for 2 nights in the past 6 weeks which just is not enough.

OP posts:
randomer · 10/08/2020 21:07

Book that extra day at Nursery.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 21:47

If I'm going to have a long weekend with him with no break I'll book him in an extra day

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Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 10/08/2020 22:00

Will the HV tell his nursery what's going on?

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AudTheDeepMinded · 10/08/2020 22:24

I just saw this and thought it might be useful for you?
parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=socialorganic&utm_campaign=X20XXXDIP&utm_content=quote-asset&fbclid=IwAR284XakvuaAfQU6WsN1sf1dZcHn8MmKgDKPmrew1yB91MjDqpVx8_a68fA
Hope you are feeling better today.

likeafishneedsabike · 10/08/2020 22:35

DS10 was a bloody nightmare on outings as a toddler. He has to know THE PLAN and THE ORDER OF EVENTS. It was fine as soon as he was old enough to understand explanations and now he even does online research of his own about places we intend to visit!
Your toddler might not be enjoying the heat. Have you tried inviting a couple of friends over to play in paddling pool and play with toys in the shade/indoors? He might kick off but it’s worth a go, perhaps?

candycane222 · 11/08/2020 08:12

I do feel like you could do with more support, even if it's just someone to talk to regularly. If you have enough money could you find an online counsellor- someone you can just vent to, basically. You sound so unhappy, and I don't think you should try to cope with this alone, I think you need someone 'there' for you who can help you through

I can only imagine the covid situation is making everything really hard, too. It cuts down all our options so much. And now this heat! (if your in Southern england, anyway)

I'm glad you can put him in nursery for extra days. Im guessing you get very little chance to get exercise for example - yet i know for myself I really need to exercise regularly to keep me coping. And my kids have grown up now.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 11/08/2020 10:42

He was great this morning. I booked him in an extra day nursery next week so at least I've got 1 day for myself

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candycane222 · 11/08/2020 12:23

That's very good to hear. Great news youve been able to give yourself some of your own time too. Its so important.

randomer · 11/08/2020 15:07

Thats great.

Sunrise234 · 11/08/2020 15:12

Fantastic!

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 11/08/2020 16:52

The nursery will take him for ad hoc days so that's good. Will my HV have told the nursery?

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randomer · 11/08/2020 17:19

I am no expert @Dancingonmylonesome but I think they are bound by confidentiaility?

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 13/08/2020 20:02

Good I dont want them knowing really

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Drogonssmile · 13/08/2020 20:11

I wouldn't have thought they'd need to know OP.

I work four days a week but have DS2 who is 3.5 now in nursery full time purely because I NEED to have that one day a week to myself. (DS1 is usually in school). I also have a long long history of anxiety and depression. Recently due to all the shit going on I asked for my ADs to be increased for the short term which my GP agreed to and it's definitely helped. Is there anything like that you can do that might help?

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 17/08/2020 20:15

I had a full day off! I had a facial and saw a friend and did some work! I feel better

OP posts:
randomer · 17/08/2020 21:01

What a great idea to book a facial.

Original poster
Dancingonmylonesome · 17/08/2020 21:15

I had some vouchers for a salon from Christmas so used them which was nice.

OP posts:
candycane222 · 18/08/2020 08:44

Great stuff Dancing, that sounds perfect!

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