Eating out? Is it me

[Lunafortheloveogod]

Ok am I being uptight or is it perfectly reasonable to still not want to eat out.

You need a mask in Asda but not in a cafe that’s half the size.. the tables aren’t all distanced and I’ve seen places that don’t clean. What are they cleaning with? Toddler gives me the fear cause everything is licked so I wouldn’t want him licking bleach.

A few weeks ago we were to stay in and avoid each other now it’s ok to pop for a pub lunch.

MIL has a milestone coming, not major, and wants us all to go out to eat.. I’ve said no offered to do something at home, atleast then I know anything the toddler licks is clean.. menus are limited dh is fussy and me and the kids have allergies so we’d be having a plain dry baked potato if we went. But I really don’t feel comfortable. Latest idea was leaving me and the youngest home still taking the licker with them I still said no. It’s been the conversation every night for a fort night.

Am I mad? Is everyone just back to normal now? Would you take small children out to eat at the mo?

I'm with you on this one, I've no intention of eating out or going to the pub. No masks, people handling dirty glasses then serving behind the bar. In the current climate I think people should just accept that not everyone is happy to eat out etc and not be offended or give them grief when they decline an invitation.

There is nothing wrong with eating out.
We've done so twice this week, in different places, and both felt really safe and both felt really clean.

However, the issues here seem both to be related to you, and your family, and nothing to do with the pandemic or the fact the Government is encouraging people to eat out. The issues are

1. your very limited diet
2. the fact you allow your toddler to lick things which other people will then handle (in normal circumstances - neither of the places we ate had reusable menus at the moment, and cleaning between settings is better and more thorough than usual).

If you were asking if YWBU to turn down the invitation due to those 2 reasons, then I'd say no, but YABU to pretend this is about people generally going out for a meal at the moment.

I think you need to really focus on stopping your child licking tables. Wipe it down with sanitising wipes first off before you all sit down.But when he’s licking the table , chairs, walls or whatever at home then you need to make sure he knows it is wrong. Covid or no Covid your child can’t be doing that, they will get sick.

As for baked potato can’t you just ask the menu? Surely you can have tuna or something or what you normally have?

And agree with back for good, this is nothing to do with the pandemic and everything to do with your limited diet and the fact your child licks tables.

I ate out (is it only me who is childish enough to keep smirking at this phrase) in IKEA yesterday.

It was very very odd. The huge cafe hall which is usually stuffed with tables had a few tables up the middle, everything else was covered and draped with floor to ceiling white plastic and the masked and gloved staff were standing between the tables and walking slowing about talking very seriously to each other via walkie-talkies. Reporting about which table had people sitting at them, and what was happening. ''Food is here for table 8 now. Over.'' I confess DD (21) and i got a serious fit of the giggles. I think it was the palpable tension over the arrival of our double clingwrap covered keylime pie!

No actual help OP, sorry.

In order to make it special but eat at home, what about making (or ordering a delivery of) a lovely champagne afternoon tea?

If you have to go out, is there a pub garden you can go to where you could all eat outside? Safer in terms of coronavirus, and more relaxing.

I am pretty relaxed about the virus, but nothing would induce me to eat inside a restaurant at the moment. Not least because if someone tests positive, you will all have to self-isolate for two weeks.

If the problem is the food then explain that to your MIL. She would be unreasonable to expect you to go somewhere that all you can eat is a plain potato.

If you wouldn’t feel comfortable eating out due to covid then just tell her and don’t go.

You don’t have to go along with things to please other people if they will make you feel that uncomfortable. When I realised that, life became so much easier.

A few things you might be able to do:

• suggest an alternative venue which serves food you can eat.
• keep toddler in the pushchair during the meal so he can't reach stuff to lick
• bring your own antibacterial wipes/spray to clean the table or whatever else

What type of allergies are these?

I'm not sure I've seen a dog ever lick a table, much less a toddler child.

Two weeks ago, I wa against eating out and didn’t see it as necessary. We have been having takeaways, so it was nothing to do with other people coming in to contact with my food, I was just wary about being close to other people. However we’ve just been on holiday and it really helped me relax about eating out. We’ve eaten out every night because honestly, I needed a break and cooking on holiday does not give me a break.

I would suggest a more suitable place to eat though. Might as well go somewhere a bit nicer and enjoy it properly if you are going. Take Dettol wipes with you if it makes you more comfortable, I’ve seen people cleaning their tables within 5 minutes of waiting on staff doing it and have thought no less of the customer cleaning it again, they are doing their best for their family and there is nothing wrong with that (but then I always clean our arm rests, tables and seatbelts when I get on an Aeroplane, so maybe I’m already a bit of an over thinker.

I am pretty relaxed about the virus, but nothing would induce me to eat inside a restaurant at the moment. Not least because if someone tests positive, you will all have to self-isolate for two weeks.
I didnt have test and trace details taken at either of the venues I ate at. Maybe because we sat outside?

it’d be my immediate family, mil, partner, her partners family and bils family.

My understanding is that you are only allowed to meet up from 2 households at a restaurant/pub if you're sitting indoors. Or 6 people maximum but from any number of households if you're sitting outdoors. MIL's party is going to be I'm guessing 10+ people and they are from 4 or 5 households. Has MIL checked that the restaurant will even allow this? They shouldn't do. We've eaten out quite a bit but we have been asked each time to give name and number for T&T and also asked how many households our party is made up of. Presumably if we said more than 2 they would have refused the booking.

Weirdest thread ever. Your toddler licks tables/ chairs? Are you serious? 😂😂😂

What type of allergies are these?

OP has listed the things that can’t be eaten if you read her posts.

I'v eaten out a few times with 3 young DC. Big chains and they've been good, empty tables to allow distancing, wiping everything etc.

Would I go to a cafe to eat a potato at this time, probably not. I'd suggest somewhere more allergy friendly and if that's not possible not go citing Covid and poor food choices.

I read the list of things but I am familiar with no dairy, no wheat and so on. I am not familiar with this list , hence my question. Thank You so much.

Anyway, YANBU. It's fine for you to say "I don't feel comfortable meeting in a large group in a restaurant at the moment, and due to the limited menu there's really barely anything we could eat anyway". Just let her crack on without you. I wouldn't pressure her to change her plans, but it's absolutely fine and understandable for you to give this celebration a miss.

I dunno what’s changed with me but I don’t like spending “time” with random people (ie not friends/family), whether that’s other diners in a restaurant or other passengers on a long distance train. Being relatively close to strangers just makes me feel uncomfortable all of a sudden? I just can’t wait to leave an get back into my own bubble. It’s weird as pre COVID I used to be very social and didn’t care about crowds etc. I find crowds a bit daunting now.

Once he can understand his name I’ll have more luck with telling him to do anything.. at the moment I’ve not a chance he doesn’t even turn his head when you speak. He’s not let lick every surface but there’s a high chance something’s going in his mouth.

Have offered takeaways from places with wider options, was told no they don’t know if they like that place. Nothing extreme either they did sell burgers/chips/pies too

I’m in the same boat as some above, why do we need a mask everywhere else but not sitting down eating? You’d need it in the queue at McDonald’s but you could sit 2ft away mask free to eat it.. makes zero sense. And other people well their the worst .

YANBU for not wanting to - I have done on numerous occasions now and it’s been absolutely fine but everyone has to weigh things up for themselves. I do stop my toddler licking the tables though.

So your MIL doesn’t want you to cook or have a take away and that’s ok of her to not want that. She wants to go for a meal out so just decline and wish your H a good time.

I read the list of things but I am familiar with no dairy, no wheat and so on. I am not familiar with this list , hence my question.

What do you mean, you’re not familiar with it? OP and her kids have allergies to these foods. I’ve certainly known lots of people who can’t eat celery, tomatoes and oats. I had a friend who was ill when she had certain herbs.

Surely it’s normal for small toddlers to lick things? Mine does! Including occasionally tables. I wouldn’t fancy taking her to a restaurant at the moment.

I'm only commenting on the toddler. Your toddler licks tables?! Really? Why an earth are you letting him lick everything?

I have a toddler and several for neices and nephews and can honestly say I have never seen them lick tables! Pandemic or not I would be sorting this odd issue out!