I’m a nanny and I look after two boys age 8 usually after school but full time at the minute due to covid. I get on very well with my boss and have formed a lovely bond/relationship with the two boys over the last year.
A couple of months ago my boss asked me if I would mind hosting some play dates/providing childcare once or twice a week with the boys best friend. He has been coming every Monday and Thursday, and honestly it’s been a nightmare from the start. He doesn’t listen, answers back, causes arguments between the two boys and just generally stresses me out. Don’t get me wrong, my two boys have their moments and sometimes don’t listen, can be grumpy but generally they are well behaved and understand the rules/boundaries. I like to think of myself as firm but fair and they have lots of treats/nice days out with me but they understand there are rules that come with that. My boss is usually very supportive and always backs me up if they misbehave.
Their friend has been over today and it’s been awful from the moment he walked through the door. They have all been arguing/crying non stop all morning (they do bicker at times but definitely not this much). Said friend is obviously a bit closer to one of the boys than the other which is fine, but this means that the other gets left out frequently. He has also been answering me back a lot, when I’ve asked them to tidy up toys etc. He can also be quite rough with the boys, slapping and hitting and when they ask him to stop he doesn’t listen, even when I get involved and ask him to calm down he just ignores me.
Boiling point came today when we were at the park earlier and he kept on climbing over the rails to get out. I asked him nicely quite a few times to stay in the park and explained the dangers of running away from me. He continued to ignore me so I took them all home, this resulted in non stop tears all the way home. I feel awful as his behaviour has ruined a nice day out for my two boys which I don’t think is fair but I’m not sure what other options I had. We’ve come home now and I’ve said no devices/tv for the rest of the day, told them they can colour, read, play with toys if they like which my two boys are doing but the friend is now sat on the sofa sulking. He keeps on asking me “if I’m good will you not tell my mum?”, I just haven’t answered.
I really don’t think it’s a good idea that he comes as they all obviously cannot get on and play nicely together. It is just constant bickering/screaming/arguing all day long and it’s not enjoyable for any of us. I did speak to his mum a couple of weeks ago as he ran away from me when we were on a walk and she was extremely nice and supportive about it and I believe she did speak to him. She seems approachable but I’m also conscious of pissing my boss off. He is extremely close to this lady and I’m not sure if he’d be “embarrassed” if I spoke to her and highlighted all these problems. I could tell him later tonight when he gets home but I’m not sure if the message would be passed on, which makes the whole thing pointless.
I don’t get paid extra to look after this child although I don’t mind as my boss gave me a large bonus at Christmas and is usually generous in other areas so I would like to be fair but also not be taken advantage of.
So, do I...
1. Speak to the boys mum tonight when she picks him up (before my boss gets home)
2. Speak to my boss when he gets home and just hope he picks up on my hints and passes the message on
3. Don’t say anything, give the boy another chance and just hope the situation improves
???