Would you be ok with your husband going to the cinema with a female friend?

[JizzPigeon22]

I have a friend who I’ve known since I was 3 years old. Last year he got a job in a pub directly across the road from my house so I see him quite often as he will occasionally stop by after a shift for a coffee or to see my kids, who they refer to as their uncle, they’re all very close. Over the years we’ve been to festivals together, holidays, camping trips etc. He was the best man at my wedding. Last year my husband passed away and my friend was great in helping sort things out, and just to have someone to chat to. We both like marvel films, which his wife hates, so when the new avengers film came out last year he bought tickets for the first showing as it was at 12 noon so we had time to watch it before getting the kids from school. His wife was at work and he was doing the school run.
She went absolutely apoplectic with rage when she found it. Said that going to the cinema was something couples do, I was desperate to get a man because my husband had died and now I was lonely etc. My friend was so disgusted with her that it almost ended their marriage.
I hadn’t really thought about it till today when it came up in conversation with 2 other friends who had very different views. One was of the opinion that it was fine, the other of the opinion that it’s never ok for men and women who are married to socialise like that as it’s disrespectful.

Aibu to think the cinema with a friend is fine? She’s fine with him coming to my house but not the cinema? I just found it such a bizzare reaction and the nasty things she said about me following my husbands death were pretty unforgivable.

[doodleygirl]

I have absolutely no problem with my DH going out to the cinema with his/our female friends.

[HelloDulling]

I very much doubt she’s fine with him coming to your house. She may tolerate it, but doesn’t like it, and the cinema was a step too far.

My DH has a friend he does such things with. I don’t love it, as I don’t entirely trust her, but I do trust him, so I put up with it.

[saraclara]

@Bluemooninmyeyes1

No I wouldn’t be happy about it. If it was a group of males and females then fair enough but not just my DH and a single, bereaved woman, sorry.

This is one of the things that make widowhood even shittier than it already is.

In some people's eyes, as a widow I'm automatically after their husbands. Seriously, @Bluemooninmyeyes1 you should be ashamed of yourself.

[JizzPigeon22]

1000% nothing between us. We’ve shared tents, beds together etc (when he was single). There’s never been anything romantic there at all.

They did do stuff together, but she’s a homebody and he likes being outdoors so for example he would come biking with me and my husband ir he played football with my husband. She likes being indoors.

[user1487194234]

I would have no issue with this
He's my DH not my prisoner

[bee222]

My DP goes to the cinema with female friends and I sometimes go with male friends. It never even occurred to me that people might find that odd.

[JizzPigeon22]

Also the cinema trip was just 3 months after he died. You’d have to be pretty insane to think I’d be after anybody at that point.

[Cattiwampus]

They’ve been friends since they were children, and they married other people. I’m not oblivious, I’ve seen dozens of relationships with jealousy and suspicion from both partners. Some survive, many don’t.

[ukgift2016]

I personally think your friendship is inappropriate and I would dump my partner if he had a female friend like you.

Just something I would not accept in a relationship.

[imissthesouth]

@JizzPigeon22
She's BU, maybe she's jealous that she can't enjoy the films with her husband?

[JizzPigeon22]

Why on earth is our friendship inappropriate?!

[PurpleDaisies]

@yomommasmomma

I think deep down any wife would feel wobbly about this. It's just quite intimate going to the cinema together. Maybe next time the 3 of you should go?

Well, plenty of wives on this thread have said we wouldn’t have an issue with it.

Going to the cinema to see a marvel film is intimate? Really? We’ve been surrounded by teenagers every time we’ve been. Not exactly romantic.

[FilledSoda]

@JizzPigeon22

His wife phoned me and told me these things, not my friend.

And who told you their marriage nearly ended over it ?

[ThistlesandHarebells]

The wife is ridiculous. When I don’t fancy a film my DH wants to see I have often suggested he go with our (female, married) friend.
I am only ever relieved that I don’t have to sit through some rubbish film
Just so DH doesn’t have to go alone.

[JBizz]

Of course I'd be ok with it

Most of my husbands wedding party were women, heck he even had a best woman instead of man.

Only someone insecure in their relationship would act like she does, so maybe your friend needs to assess how he treats her if she is felling so insecure

[Cattiwampus]

@ukgift2016

I personally think your friendship is inappropriate and I would dump my partner if he had a female friend like you.

Just something I would not accept in a relationship.

You’d never have been in a relationship with him in the first place, the friendship is decades longer than the marriage.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

YANBU
It s very old fashioned and prude to say married men and married women cannot be friends.

[Bythepath]

My DH has a friend who is a single parent, he has known her for 20+ years. They go to the cinema together, he goes round for dinner etc. She is my friend too and I can say 100% truthfully I have no issue with it at all. I dont like the films they do, so I see it as nice they can go together and I get to watch what I want on the TV!

[Lellochip]

@ukgift2016

I personally think your friendship is inappropriate and I would dump my partner if he had a female friend like you.

Just something I would not accept in a relationship.

So single women just can't be friends with men at all then? Can't run the risk of them sitting together, in public, at midday 🙄

[JizzPigeon22]

He did. We’re friends, we are allowed to talk. Plus he had no where else to stay as she had kicked him out.

[PurpleDaisies]

@ukgift2016

I personally think your friendship is inappropriate and I would dump my partner if he had a female friend like you.

Just something I would not accept in a relationship.

Inappropriate how? What is the op like that’s so objectionable?

[JBizz]

@yomommasmomma

I think deep down any wife would feel wobbly about this. It's just quite intimate going to the cinema together. Maybe next time the 3 of you should go?

Not all wives act like teenagers.

I hand on heart have no issue with my husband going to the cinema with any of his female friends. They go for coffee sometimes, or dinner to catch up.

It's called being secure. Something many wives are.

[kyles101]

No way would I have a problem with this. Your friends wife is overreacting. But could your friend have form for cheating that you don't know about? Is it possible that he's ever let slip he has feelings for you to her? On the face or it she's being way OTT but there may be underlying issues you're not aware of.

[Charleyhorses]

I wouldn t have a problem.

[SavageBeauty73]

I wouldn't have a problem. But I often go to the cinema with my best friend's husband we like the same films.