To ask your opinion on this #WorldBreastfeedingWeek debate

[Napqueen1234]

Sorry if this sounds childish referred to social media etc but interested to canvas opinions.

A friend of mine shared a post on Instagram re world breastfeeding week about how it’s the best thing for baby and mum, so proud she could do it, perseverance etc. She’s a very zealous breastfeeder generally (and why not!) and was a good person to go to for advice when I was struggling although did say she was ‘disappointed I had given in’ after 2 months. Anyway!

Another friend then shared a post about Fed Is Best (she struggled bf and switched to formula and has always found it difficult seeing bf women, a lot of guilt and sadness that I feel she needs to process somehow) and how WBW is just another stick to beat ‘failed breast feeders’ with and anyone who wants to breastfeed gets loads of support from midwives etc and generally society nowadays so it isn’t needed.

Both have since messaged me about the other stating they are upset (we are a close group of 4, the other doesn’t have DC so I suppose I’m mediator). Friend one feels like this is one week where BF should be celebrated and acknowledged is better. Friend two feels mother’s should be more understanding to the feelings of those that couldn’t breastfeed and not ‘brag’.

I have remained fairly moderate and tried to calm things but who do you think is right?

YABU- it’s world breastfeeding week! It’s best let them have their moment.

YANBU- it can make women feel very sad who didn’t bf or who ‘failed’ so social media posts should be mindful of this.

Well go and be proud of yourself then, why do you need to tell everyone about it unnecessarily?

Well why not?
Isn't that what people do - tell others about exam results, job promotions etc or whatever they as an achievement. An official celebratory "week" is as good an opportunity as ever.

You sound determined to push your breastfeeding experience on everyone & angry that some people may not want to hear it for whatever reason

Not at all. Can you please point out the places in my posts that have made you think that?

I think you are projecting for some reason you seem very determined to silence women on breastfeeding

@GlummyMcGlummerson

If I wanted to silence them I would be telling them not to talk at all not that your work colleagues probably dont want to hear about your boobs on Facebook.

Theres no rule against it, but from my experience most people roll their eyes about such posts, even if they feel compelled to 'like' them. People tend to share news about exam results etc because people will be expecting to hear how they have done. Nobody waits with baited breath to find out how you have fed your baby.

not that your work colleagues probably dont want to hear about your boobs on Facebook

This, right here, is exactly the problem. Using "boobs" rather than breasts to sexualise and/or trivialise what breasts are for. The implications that I'm bothering people if I do post - which BTW I never said I do? Also waiting to hear which parts of my post indicate I'm "angry" that "people don't want to hear it"?

You are taking a tremendous issue with me saying women should be able to celebrate breastfeeding? Why? Because you don't wanna hear about it? Tough shit - I don't want to necessarily hear about my what my Facebook friends did at the gym, but because I am in fact an adult I suck it up and deal with the fact that it's not all about me and my opinion.

Here's what I think - the gym posts probably make me roll my eyes because I myself don't go enough, and should go more, and people who stomp their feet about breastfeeding posts probably feel inadequate for their own reasons. But I'm certainly not tiptoeing around about my achievements because someone else may or may not take it personally, despite the fact that it's not about them. Luckily I don't surround myself with weirdos who take exception to post about breastfeeding so I can't imagine anyone would mind if I posted to celebrate world breastfeeding week.

I'll add another point to my list of things that will raise breastfeeding rates - other people not being pissy when women talk about breastfeeding.

Project your issues elsewhere and leave women alone.

If I wanted to silence them I would be telling them not to talk at all

Except that's not how women are silenced, is it? No one says "shut up women" lest they be accused of overt misogyny - it's a lot more calculated and nuanced than that, it's a claim that when women DO speak they are upsetting people and should maybe check their privilege etc.

I dont do gym posts either. It's just exercise.

See I treat everyone with the same disdain on fb! I'm not just picking on women who want to boast about their breastfeeding

Well you are ranting and swearing when I said that personally I find breastfeeding posts boring and smug. So that's pretty angry.

I'm glad it has fulfilled you & made you feel accomplished, all I'm saying is other people dont have to feel the same way.

[quote Wolfgirrl]@GlummyMcGlummerson

If I wanted to silence them I would be telling them not to talk at all not that your work colleagues probably dont want to hear about your boobs on Facebook.

Theres no rule against it, but from my experience most people roll their eyes about such posts, even if they feel compelled to 'like' them. People tend to share news about exam results etc because people will be expecting to hear how they have done. Nobody waits with baited breath to find out how you have fed your baby.[/quote]
Your experience, like anyone’s, is limited by dint of it being yours though. Because I’m a mother of a baby, a lot of the people I know are people, mostly women, of a similar socioeconomic status to me, with similar lifestyles, who have babies and/or are at various stages in the process of having first or subsequent babies. Breastfeeding is interesting to me and to loads of people I know right now and I’ve had loads of involved, informative, enjoyable discussions about it. (As an aside, I’ve found that dads are often just as keen to talk about it as mums are). On the other hand I don’t know anyone getting exam results so wouldn’t really care about that, come back to me when my daughter’s doing the 11+, at which point I’ll probably feel as distant from breastfeeding discussions as I did pre-kids, give WBW posts a like because I’m happy for them and move on. Easy. We’re all different.

If I wanted to silence them I would be telling them not to talk at all grin not that your work colleagues probably dont want to hear about your boobs on Facebook.

So.. people on Facebook could easily keep scrolling or hide it like everyone else who has a lick of common sense..

Theres no rule against it, but from my experience most people roll their eyes about such posts, even if they feel compelled to 'like' them. People tend to share news about exam results etc because people will be expecting to hear how they have done. Nobody waits with baited breath to find out how you have fed your baby.

Very few people who are posting about their experiences are counting how many likes they’re getting about it and contacting people asking why they didn’t. It says more about the person who feels compelled to like things they don’t care about than the actual poster. Also as it has been mentioned, there are plenty of things that people post about that others eyeroll or don’t care about. Why does that matter? People are posting what they want to post because they can and should and if it bothers some people, they could easily hide, unfollow, etc.. instead.

Do you mean people shouldn’t post photos of themselves breastfeeding.

Yup. Just no need at all.

Total exhibitionism. Fine - great to BF, is best for mother and baby.

No need to broadcast it to the world.

@Piglet89

Do you mean people shouldn’t post photos of themselves breastfeeding.

Yup. Just no need at all.

Is there a need for ANY pictures? Probably not - but people have a right to put them up. Why not of a woman feeding her child it's lunch?

Again, picture of woman feeding her kid its lunch: breast, formula, solids, doesn’t matter. I mean, what’s the point of it? Who cares?

@Piglet89

Total exhibitionism. Fine - great to BF, is best for mother and baby.

No need to broadcast it to the world.

Would it be exhibitionism of a woman posted a picture of herself feeding her baby a bottle or solid food?

Or is it just when women post about their bodies that it's exhibitionism?

I don’t post any pictures of my child on social media because I have enough self awareness to know that people don’t really give a shit about other people’s kids and am also concerned my kid can’t consent to my publicising his image so it’s ultimately a violation of his privacy.

Again, picture of woman feeding her kid its lunch: breast, formula, solids, doesn’t matter. I mean, what’s the point of it? Who cares

Who cares about anything other people post? Get of social media if you don't like other people talking about their lives. Unless you wanna provide a prescribed list of what you find acceptable to post and the world should follow suit?

Not on social media.

So what do you post Piglet that's so very interesting to every body else?

I honestly don't understand why people are even on social media when other people posting about their lives upsets them so very much. I mean why do you even have it?!

Are you hard of reading? I don’t post ANYTHING because I’m not on social media. Mainly because I don’t need validation from the world about the actions I take during my every waking moment.

Not on social media.

Yet, have an issue with what people post.. 🤔

Sorry, I was under the mistaken impression that people were permitted to express a view on Mumsnet threads, regardless of their circumstances. I see the freedom of speech police are out in force again.

So if you're not on social media why are you getting your knickers in a twist about other people's posts you'll never even see.

It's almost like you just generally object to women talking about their bodies

Not sure why you'd say "I don't post pictures of my kids on social media" when you don't even have a social media account. Bit odd.

I think “getting my knickers in a twist” is a gross exaggeration. I expressed my view. That’s allowed, last time I checked.

You claimed women shouldn't do X Y and Z on a platform you're allegedly not part of - pretty weird view if you ask me