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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
FlamingoAndJohn · 04/08/2020 21:06

Even if you were invited asking to use that space is still a bit of a cheek.

Wowserme · 04/08/2020 21:07

Well done Democrazy, you’ve handled this perfectly! 😁
She’s certainly got a nerve... the more people she tells the more will know what a cheeky whatsit she is!

BumbleBeee69 · 04/08/2020 21:07

hahaaaaa what a cheeky mare... well done OP.. Flowers

Dogwhistle · 04/08/2020 21:07

@democrazy She's definitely going to come back to that with an invite for you both. Please don't accept it!

ButterflyWitch · 04/08/2020 21:08

So cheeky of her! I'd reply and say 'sorry, now I've looked into it, it's not something we can agree to due to insurance/environmental/noise/logistical/loo . Or just reply to say, 'on reflection I don't think it's appropriate' and leave it at that! I CANNOT believe her cheek!!

VacMan · 04/08/2020 21:09

Don't you dare back down! She's going to to invite you now that you 'need to be in attendance'.

Get your answer ready.
Don't worry about offending her, as she said you're not a close friend.

Imagine the cheeky bitch directing everyone to your bathroom, like she owns the place!!

SerenDippitty · 04/08/2020 21:09

Just tell her you only allow close friends to use the site, and that doesn't include her.

Nquartz · 04/08/2020 21:10

@DameFanny

You really are being utterly unreasonable OP.

You had a problem. You thought it through. You checked for other opinions. You used your words and made the problem go away, without drama or 3 threads of agonising over whether to do anything or not.

Frankly I'm shocked.

Wink

Grin what a refreshing change, eh?!
Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 21:12

If invited - sorry, that's not going to work for us. But hope you find a suitable venue and have a happy birthday!

Bodgedboxdye · 04/08/2020 21:12

I’d just say no.

Say you’ve spoken to your partner and he’s said he doesn’t want to hire it out.

That’s crazy! Who asks someone if they can borrow their land but doesn’t invite them? /:

MrsSpookyM · 04/08/2020 21:13

Oof! Cheeky bitch.

I'd remove the yurt and pizza oven etc, so she'd arrive to a bare field.

MrsExpo · 04/08/2020 21:14

Given the extreme level of cf-ery here ...... If you’re good friends with some of the other guests, then I think I’d message them and wish them a fun time. “Sorry we’ll miss you, but maybe we can get together some other time”. .... and see if any of them ask cf friend why you’re not invited. (Not that I’d go anyway, after it’s been made clear you’re a good enough friend to blag a free party venue from, but not good enough to even be invited over for a drink ..... ).

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 04/08/2020 21:14

CHARGE HER CHARGE HER CHARGE HER. Cheeky fucking cow.

MadisonMontgomery · 04/08/2020 21:14

I’m with MrsSpookyM, I’d have agreed and then removed absolutely everything from the land!

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 04/08/2020 21:16

Sorry Just RTFT Grin but I just needed to make my feelings clear!

Pixie2015 · 04/08/2020 21:16

That’s awful - think I wouldn’t be friends anymore

milienhaus · 04/08/2020 21:18

Well done OP, excellent response

NoodleKT · 04/08/2020 21:19

Well OP! She is absolutely a CF!!

diddl · 04/08/2020 21:19

I read it as you running a business (invested in...) so was thinking well of course she'll be paying so can invite who she wants & was originally Confused at all the outrage!

Glad you've sorted it out!

BadDucks · 04/08/2020 21:20

Cheeky mare how rude! Well done on sending that message. I'm a cow though and would possibly hold a casual get together for mutual friends on the same day Wink

RainbowRaine · 04/08/2020 21:20

Just incase it's not already clear, your friend is the one taking the piss massively.

rookiemere · 04/08/2020 21:20

Good for you. Bet she doesn't respond

Monst3ra · 04/08/2020 21:20

Brilliant response.

Iloveacurry · 04/08/2020 21:22

Well done op, definitely a CF!

MidnightCitrus · 04/08/2020 21:24

that was a perfect response!

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