Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

[democrazy]

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

[Giraffey1]

Just seen that you contacted her, nicely done!

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m now frantically refreshing for the update.

[democrazy]

Sorry no response yet.... though have had a text from a mutual friend who she has obviously been talking to about my response, who has just said on no uncertain terms should I back down and let her use the site now after that and she is gobsmacked at her arrogance!

[Paddy1234]

Well done OP ❤️

What a CF 😱

[Theimpossiblegirl]

Well done @democrazy
I don't normally ask for updates but please share her reply when you get one. She is absolutely a CF.

[Sunrise234]

Wow! If this was something you normally hire out and she was paying you then it would be slightly better - still very rude to not invite you, you would just do it out of politeness.

I would seriously consider coming up with an excuse as to why she can’t use it. She is a cheeky fucker already so I can see her keep asking in the future too.

[DarkDarkNight]

I can’t believe the brass neck of some people. She should be mortified. I honestly can’t believe she would even think to ask to use your land knowing you weren’t invited, then when you obviously assume you are invited instead of just going along with it saying ‘sorry, close friends only actually’.

Is she usually this up her own arse?

The set up sounds very cool by the way.

[echodot]

@democrazy

Thanks all, party planned for sept, so it is Covid rules dependent, but I've sent a message just saying that I'm sorry, but I said yes initially thinking we'd be in attendance, but as we won't be it wouldn't be seen as private/personal use and so not covered by our insurance. I understand she wants to limit it to her closest friends so wished her luck in finding another suitable venue....

Haha Love this! Cheeky bitch expecting to use it & not invite you! Glad you saw sense!

[Sunrise234]

Sorry I missed out half the convo whilst I was typing lol

[democrazy]

I will share, but my guess is knowing her I won't get one. However you'll probably see a mumsnet thread along the lines of 'My "friend" has ruined my 40th birthday party!!!'

[itsgettingweird]

Actually the point above liability and insurance is valid. I'd check it further. You are responsible for your land and things happening.

There's been cases where children have entered neighbours gardens and fallen in water and neighbours are responsible even though it was technically trespass.

[mummmy2017]

Love how you have a double agent.

[DarkDarkNight]

Just seen your update - I love that. Please stick to your guns

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Well done OP. Your refusal is spot on. Glad mutual friend isn’t an entitled arsehole.

[CastleCrasher]

Any money she'll invite you now. Don't agree!!

[PablosHoney]

Sounds like a lovely resource you have there OP ☺️

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Great message. Got smacked at this woman. She is not your friend. She is a classic cheeky fucker.

[Poetnojo]

Brilliant response OP, to the point with no wishy washy excuses. Watch her now try to invite you to the party to get around the insurance issue, if she does she really is the ultimate CF.

[Merryoldgoat]

I suspect you will get an invite now so she can use your land. But hopefully your response will be of the two word variety.

[Jaxinthebox]

well done on sorting out the CF! How rude? Honestly, some people just take the piss.

[DameFanny]

You really are being utterly unreasonable OP.

You had a problem. You thought it through. You checked for other opinions. You used your words and made the problem go away, without drama or 3 threads of agonising over whether to do anything or not.

Frankly I'm shocked.

[itsgettingweird]

And you updated whilst I went to loo returned and typed.

Teach me not to refresh

I'm 40 in 2 weeks.
Can I come and have a party on your space? Sounds lovely! Of course you can come and you can even eat my pizza and drink my drink

[Sunrise234]

If she replies something along the lines of - yes but no one will know. Then say ok but I will have to charge you the going rate which is £XXX per hour

[FatCatThinCat]

She's not your friend. Friends aren't that openly 'fuck you' to you.

[Freixene]

Well done on your response OP
How did she think she would explain to your mutual friends that you weren’t there when they (inevitably) asked? Oh, I didn’t invite them to their own garden?!
And what on earth was she thinking about the toilet situation?!