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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
Ohtherewearethen · 05/08/2020 15:11

@Frankola - charge her for what? OP has already said are can't use it now, as she posted pages ago.

Notredamn · 05/08/2020 15:15

Well handled, OP. You may have lost a shitty friend but you've still got a snazzy yurt set up and I know what I'd prefer.

Seriously, what sort of cold, brass necked, reptilian eyed cow expects you to have full view of a party you've facilitated and just stand there and wave sadly as you weren't invited?!

MsTSwift · 05/08/2020 15:23

You totally need to have your own socially distanced evening with that crowd and not invite her. I so would. Do it op!

Cadent · 05/08/2020 16:17

Agh 180 posts after OP's 'OK' but no development! Gutted! But glad for OP it didn't turn into a row.

AntiAuntieAnty · 05/08/2020 16:56

I expect CF will leave it now. She didn't get what she wanted, so has buggared off to blag more freebies off unsuspecting acquaintances! The cheeky cow.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 05/08/2020 17:27

How rude of her, i would rescind the invitation

OVienna · 05/08/2020 17:31

She's out of her fucking mind and a rude cow.

The shame and cheek of some people.

For once I hope this gets picked up in the Mail.

RUDE COW! We are looking at you. (And 'CF' means CHEEKY FUCKER.)

nagnagnag · 05/08/2020 17:33

Good for you. You handled it brilliantly! Smile

viccytwiffy · 05/08/2020 17:34

charge her for sure... and then ask her for your own curiosities sake (and mine) why/how she could not invite you.... it doesnt make any sense... i'd really want to know how that works in her head... please report back!

Usernamerequired · 05/08/2020 17:35

Request that they sanitise everything item and surface used thoroughly as you will not be there to do it yourself

Cadent · 05/08/2020 17:36

Request that they sanitise everything item and surface used thoroughly as you will not be there to do it yourself

And the most pointless contribution award goes to Usernamerequired...

somthinginthewoodshed · 05/08/2020 17:38

Oh yes I get that! There are some real graspers out there as I found out when we had a house abroad. I’d ‘find’ a leakage or something else that means you’ll have to cancel. You’ll feel awful when the time comes round and they’re all partying on your land while you get asked for hot water or similar but are not part of the deal.

scarybiscuit · 05/08/2020 17:42

That is the sort of thing that happens to lovely people.. I think you should say somethings popped up and it isn’t available.
I am really cross on your behalf. I really don’t like this sort of thing. The world gone mad and it’s bringing out the nasties in people. She isn’t a friend but a grabber and we don’t need them in our lives. You take care x

Hippofrog · 05/08/2020 17:42

I’d say you don’t have Public Liability insurance so can’t let her have it.

Rainbo83 · 05/08/2020 17:45

CF

applestrudels · 05/08/2020 17:47

Bloody hell. I don't know how anyone could even bring themselves to be that rude! That is shocking. I have no advice, but YANBU.

Pliudev · 05/08/2020 17:48

I think I'd get in touch and say that, after thinking it over, if you aren't going to be present you can't really let the party go ahead for insurance reasons.

Dogwhistle · 05/08/2020 17:49

RTFT folks...

KorumamaT · 05/08/2020 17:51

Please retract the offer this is so out of order, she is not a friend.

Popsielady · 05/08/2020 17:52

As well as ridiculously insensitive and rude, ( why should you lend as a “friend” if they don’t consider you to be one? ) it also begs the question that if they have a lack of judgement with that - how can you even trust them To look after the site in the appropriate way without you being there? I think you should say that you have to come as it’s your private property and to ensure safety/liability insurance covered or else there needs to be some sort of damage deposit/fee Paid by them to cover any eventuality/cleaning/damage etc . Do let us know what happens - I’m
Intrigued

pumpkintree · 05/08/2020 17:53

She asked you the way she did, without telling you weren't invited so you would say yes. She has played you. I would the might before text her to say unfortunately due to damage over night you need to cancel. Then lock up and go out for the day. How cheeky is she!

MyWitzEnd · 05/08/2020 17:55

Not cool! What a cow!

Ohtherewearethen · 05/08/2020 17:55

Do let us know what happens - I’m
Intrigued

Or, you could try reading the OP's updates?

WhereamI88 · 05/08/2020 17:58

well done, she was an absolute bitch!

Cadent · 05/08/2020 17:59

please report back!

RTFT!

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