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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
Arthersleep · 05/08/2020 07:46

That's beyond cheeky!! It's horribly insensitive too. And, at the very least she should have offered to pay you. I would be tempted to go to your local pet store and purchase 6 boxes of live crickets to enliven their stay! Also, ensure that the hey take their own toilet tent and take the contents home with them!

WelshMoth · 05/08/2020 07:49

What is the toilet situation for the yurt OP?

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/08/2020 07:56

She's very cheeky. How is she planning for people to go to the loo.

I'd be too worried about damage to let people use it when I wasn't there, especially for a big birthday and the liklihood of drink and then there's Covid-19. Is she going to spend the next day doing a deep clean?

Marnie76 · 05/08/2020 07:58

@Rainydayss

Has she replied?
Yes six pages ago
Marnie76 · 05/08/2020 07:59

Come people, at least read all the OP’s post FGS

HowManyToes · 05/08/2020 08:01

@democrazy I'm know I'm a bit late to the party here, but week done for four standing up for yourself and not letting the CF take advantage of you 😊

Nanasueathome · 05/08/2020 08:01

Well done OP
I’m sure there would have been a lot of cleaning up for you to do the next morning as well

FlamingoAndJohn · 05/08/2020 08:03

@Didkdt

By the way Op what sort of Pizza oven did you set up. I'm desperate for one
I have an Ooni if that helps. I managed to nab one heavily discounted at Lakeland. It’s brilliant.
cameocat · 05/08/2020 08:03

We'll sorted OP.

Really don't understand why people don't at least use filter option so they've seen all updates.

BertieBassettsBits · 05/08/2020 08:06

Incredibly rude of her
Well done for cutting her off at the pass

FlamingoAndJohn · 05/08/2020 08:06

@Marnie76

Come people, at least read all the OP’s post FGS
It’s so easy now too. You can just click to have all the op’s posts only.
Playmysong · 05/08/2020 08:23

Well done OP. Surprised she hasn’t come back inviting you, but suspect mutual friend has told her that she was OOO. Please, if she does come back with an invite, tell her to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine! I hope you let this ‘friendship’ die a death now, as she clearly doesn’t give a shit about you.

unchienandalusia · 05/08/2020 08:33

Wow. Who are these people? That is unbelievably rude and takes some real lack of tact to barefaced ask you in the first place. Yadnbu!

Iverunoutofnames · 05/08/2020 09:12

Wow, just wow.

Surprised she didn’t ask you to cater and serve too.

Rebelwithallthecause · 05/08/2020 09:14

I’d feel terrible asking to use your garden and then not even inviting you

Bit hard not to be invited when you actually live on site anyway

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/08/2020 09:24

How is it possible to reach adulthood with such little awareness of how rude a request like this is?

mrsmummy1111 · 05/08/2020 09:56

I know there is already a resolution here, but this thread has absolutely FLOORED me. The out and out cheek of some people never ceases to amaze me, and I am absolutely jumping for joy that you went back and said something. Who in their right mind thinks it’s acceptable to ask someone if they can hold a party ON THEIR PROPERTY....without inviting them. MN makes me really cross sometimes at the way people allow themselves to be walked all over, but you are my hero OP!

QueenArseClangers · 05/08/2020 10:16

Bet she wanted it for a swingers’ birthday party.

They’re sex people!

justanotherneighinparadise · 05/08/2020 10:18

She’ll probably just invite you to stop you from denying her access but please say your busy that weekend. I can’t stand users.

justanotherneighinparadise · 05/08/2020 10:19

*youre

amusedbush · 05/08/2020 10:22

Fucking hell, that's unbelievably cheeky of her! Well done for going back and saying no. Hopefully your mutual friend has told her to get a grip.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 05/08/2020 10:24

Massive piss take. What about cleaning costs etc?

boon · 05/08/2020 10:27

Thats really rude! I would be annoyed.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 05/08/2020 10:27

Ooh no she's chancing it, I don't think she's necessarily a bitch, just one of those people who thinks 'don't ask, don't get'.

You could respond 'oh no problem CF, sorry to get the wrong end of the stick LOL! We do plan to hire the space out in the future, it would be lovely for your celebration to be the first one :-) I'll give you mates rates of course, so £200 and all the usual agreements re replacing anything damaged or litter etc - I can ping over our contract if you want to read it!'

Redlocks28 · 05/08/2020 10:29

Well done for sorting it-she sounds like a total user!

I can imagine you having a queue to use your toilet all night and a massive mess to clear up in the morning)!