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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
WhenCoronaWasALager · 04/08/2020 23:40

What a CF. What goes through people's heads? I'm so pleased you were direct and she didn't try to invite you to get around it. Put a note in the diary to keep an eye out in case she sneaks in!

finished31 · 04/08/2020 23:40

@Mothership4two

OP have you thought about your response if she gets back to you and says that you can now come as long as she gets use of your space?
The CF will do this I bet.

OP tell her to fuck off if she now wants to Invite you to your own garden and share your toilet with her 'bestest friends' twat

Ballerinashoes · 04/08/2020 23:41

OMG I cannot believe how cheeky some people can be. The actual brass neck of her.

Do you think your friend will have said something to her nd agreed with you are saying? Xx

MsTSwift · 04/08/2020 23:42

What the hell is wrong with her?! Raised by wolves! Does she not have a husband or close friend who might have queried this crass and utterly mortifying behaviour? Dear me.

Well handled op. I am getting more bolshy as I get older I fear Dh and I would not have been quite so polite!

VacMan · 04/08/2020 23:42

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

Those were the days Grin

user1468538201 · 04/08/2020 23:42

She's using you, completely and utterly. Keep in mind that if someone falls are gets hurt (or pretends to) it's your problem not hers. I'd call her asap and tell her you've checked with your insurance company and as it's an event for a third party, not a family member that they will not provide cover,use this as an excuse to cancel it. I'm shocked someone would even ask to use your property without you being there. She's no friend, don't confuse her for one.

Feedingthebirds1 · 04/08/2020 23:43

This is going to be 20 pages of people not RTFT.

Yup! OP you should send her a message* saying she can't have it because of insurance/you're having a party/she's a CF of the highest order and she can FOTTFSOF. And then cancel the cheque.

*I know you already have. Sarcasm. Directed at those posters who think their input is so valuable they don't even have to read OP's updates. Everyone is just waiting with baited breath for them to post their unique insight then we'll all slap our foreheads and say why didn't we think of that.

KorkMum · 04/08/2020 23:43

Shes so rude! Hope shes paying you. What if your stuff gets ruined.

KorkMum · 04/08/2020 23:44

Take a deposit

Feedingthebirds1 · 04/08/2020 23:44

Cross posted with Allmyarse ^^

VacMan · 04/08/2020 23:49

@Feedingthebirds1

Cross posted with Allmyarse ^^
Looks like KorkMum is playing along too😉

Or maybe not🙄

Didkdt · 05/08/2020 00:09

By the way Op what sort of Pizza oven did you set up. I'm desperate for one

starray · 05/08/2020 00:16

Sorry - that is really really not on. Very rude of her.

BeeTrees · 05/08/2020 00:21

She’s clearly read the thread and hope she’s realised she’s a CFer. Who the fuck asks to use someone’s garden and then tells them they are not invited, but wants to use your toilet, you clean up her rubbish etc. Fuck me.
Huge well done for standing your ground.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 05/08/2020 01:06

Well done for getting out of that, OP. What a cheeky fucker. Some people really do take the piss, don’t they?

sorryforswearing · 05/08/2020 01:08

I’d be upset if I were you and she’s just a CF. She’s the one who ought to be embarrassed.

Thegreymethod · 05/08/2020 01:18

Wow! If I was her I'd have been so embarrassed with you (understandably) assuming you were invited that I'd have had to go along with it even if I hadn't planned to invite you in the first place!

Hodge00079 · 05/08/2020 01:48

I hope she is not going to do a u turn and invite you. I would put it past her.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/08/2020 01:49

Dying to know, how did she tell you that you weren't invited??

namechangetheworld · 05/08/2020 02:35

I loathe the phrase 'cheeky fucker' but your 'friend' really is the very definition, isn't she?

YANBU. I felt second hand embarrassment just reading your OP.

sweetieno · 05/08/2020 03:05

Tell her to fuck off.

northernstar0412 · 05/08/2020 03:07

I think your friend is a CF, and I would be hurt if I were you. YANBU.

BubblyWater · 05/08/2020 03:48

I had to google what a yurt is. Now I'm a bit disappointed because I assumed it was some sort of yoghurt making equipment to go with the pizza.

ThickFast · 05/08/2020 07:26

Well the text from her at least shows she’s not going to cause drama about it all. So that’s good.

Rainydayss · 05/08/2020 07:37

Has she replied?