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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
BridgettJ · 04/08/2020 23:04

What a swamp donkey!!!

Tell her to fuck off

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 04/08/2020 23:07

cheeky cow.

I have a big birthday next year, if not too far, I'll pay and you're very welcome to come Cake Wine

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 04/08/2020 23:07

Fuckin hell. Well done, OP, what an absolutely cheeky horror your 'friend' is.

saraclara · 04/08/2020 23:08

Yep, when I read the OP, I assumed she was hiring the place! But expecting it for free and not inviting you is astonishing CFery.

PeacefulPlease · 04/08/2020 23:08

Sorry OP, just realised you’ve already put her off, well done...she sounds like a person to avoid in the future, immature and insecure - life is way too short for that crap

AllsortsofAwkward · 04/08/2020 23:10

I think this might be one for the classics what a CF.

jelly79 · 04/08/2020 23:11

Wow what a CF. Even more so with the rude and lazy reply!

Please have a party on the same night in your space and invite her guests x

cakewench · 04/08/2020 23:17

Wonderful outcome, I’m so pleased you said no. I’m genuinely amazed at the gall of this woman.

HollowTalk · 04/08/2020 23:18

@Tinyhumansurvivalist

Wow your "friend" is a bitch. I'd be telling her unfortunately one of your close friends has requested it for the same weekend so you are prioritising her
Exactly this!
DancyNancy · 04/08/2020 23:19

Good on you for following through with that great response about your insurance. I am so so glad you didn't leave her off with this. So Cheeky cheeky!!
If she stays odd with you then I'd be moving on quite happily without her!

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/08/2020 23:23

Please have a party on the same night in your space and invite her guests

Now that’s a brilliant idea..... Grin

LillianBland · 04/08/2020 23:24

I think you should have a family get together on the night she wanted and pop a few photos on Facebook. 😁

peanutsandpinenuts · 04/08/2020 23:25

If you're not invited because you're not close enough 'friends' she needs to be paying... perhaps not full rate but paid for nonetheless.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 04/08/2020 23:26

This thread is totally going to end up in the daily mail

2bazookas · 04/08/2020 23:27

Send your invoice ;payable before party date.

FlamingoAndJohn · 04/08/2020 23:29

All she had to say was ‘ok’?
She isn’t that much of a friend.
Stop having anything to do with her.

katy1213 · 04/08/2020 23:30

Exactly. Just say, sorry, misunderstood and tell her the hire fee. And no way do you back down if she says okay, you are invited after all.
This is CF-ery that's nearly as good as the Mexican holiday.
Don't be embarrassed. She should be embarrassed. And do spread the story around locally! If you lose the 'friendship', well, no loss - she doesn't like you enough to share a drink and a pizza, but she likes your amenities.

katy1213 · 04/08/2020 23:32

It definitely will end up in the Daily Mail and she'll recognise herself for sure, because how many gardens have yurts!

VacMan · 04/08/2020 23:35

OP has already told the CF no!

This is going to be 20 pages of people not RTFT.

ChristmasinJune · 04/08/2020 23:36

@democrazy

Wel I got a response and think you'll all be a bit disappointed, it just says 'OK'. no kisses or anything which I think is a clear sign she is annoyed but I suspect mutual friend has had words. Thanks for all the advice, it's very helpful to be able to sense check my feelings - I can be a pushover at times, but even for me this was a step too far!!
Well done for standing your ground on this one, what a cheeky cow!!
Fruitsaladjelly · 04/08/2020 23:37

@Campurp

Tell her that due to insurance reasons you can no longer offer the space. If she asks why say that when you usually hold events you are present, but it is a liability for you to have people on your land, using your facilities whilst you’re not present. You hope she can find another location but it leaves you wide open should an accident happen!
This

It’s not too late to get out of this. Just say you hadn’t really thought through practicalities of this and it won’t be possible for her to hold her party at your home.

Ps she is a massive CF

Mothership4two · 04/08/2020 23:38

OP have you thought about your response if she gets back to you and says that you can now come as long as she gets use of your space?

Chouxalacreme · 04/08/2020 23:38

Definitely a chance to have a Party with all your mutual friends !

Fruitsaladjelly · 04/08/2020 23:38

Sorry just realised I only got to the bottom of first page

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 04/08/2020 23:39

@VacMan

“OP has already told the CF no!

This is going to be 20 pages of people not RTFT”

Cancel the cheque!!