Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

[democrazy]

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

@scoobydoo1971 the OP already told the birthday person that she cannot allow it due to insurance reasons. It’s not going ahead.

Glad you’ve rescinded your offer, so rude of her. Bet she’s livid!

She is very cheeky considering you’re not charging her.

That's massive cheeky fuckery unless she's hiring it and paying!

I think it's very rude as she knows lots of your mutual friends are going.
I'd say yes but charge them the going rate.

She must be a Mumsnetter! There’s no way someone so pig ignorant to ask to use your property for a party that she didn’t invite you to, would settle for “OK”. She’s obviously read your thread or a spy has told her. waves to CF

Sounds lovely OP, can I use it?

You can come too 😂😂

You sound really lovely and considerate op, unfortunately arseholes like your"mate" can usually sense when this can be used to their advantage. Shes no loss-cancel her garden party and her friendship..Sounds like she wouldn't be bothered either way(except for the free site) but at least you wont be spending the next day clearing up after them,cursing yourself that you didnt say no-as would almost certainly be the case.

@democrazy
That is bang out of order!
Yurts are not cheap, nor is land, and she wants to have a party there for free??

No bloody way, Hosé! Charge her! My son and his mates hired a field to camp in and it was £15 each for two nights, no facilities, apart from cold water and bring a spade.

Where will these people pee?? oh, don't tell me...Your house?!

Not save in Covid era.

Just saw her response. She's definitely sulking.
Don't feel bad op, she's massively taking the piss.

Woohoo! @democrazy NRTWT so just caught the fact you cancelled! 👍 well done ! 🙂

Good for you. What a cheeky cow. At least now she knows that she can't use you. Let her find someone else to be a sap.

Firstly I’m shocked that she’d tell you you’re not invited, when you’ve (understandably) assumed you are. Who wouldn’t when the party is at yours?

But I’m even more shocked that she expects you to be ok with not being invited, especially when lots of mutual friends going, but that the party goers will spend the evening traipsing in and out of your house to use the loo!

Your reply was perfect but I’d have been tempted to remove the yurt and pizza oven and book a weekend away!

I can’t be the only one wondering if I can buy the green opposite my house and put a yurt and fire pit in, can I? Sounds bloody brilliant.

You did the right thing OP!

@democrazy

Thanks all, party planned for sept, so it is Covid rules dependent, but I've sent a message just saying that I'm sorry, but I said yes initially thinking we'd be in attendance, but as we won't be it wouldn't be seen as private/personal use and so not covered by our insurance. I understand she wants to limit it to her closest friends so wished her luck in finding another suitable venue....

Well done you!!!

I love it when somebody stands up to a CF!

I can't imagine anyone asking to use my garden and toilet for a party I wasn't invited to!

I mean WTF!

Well done OP!

Excellent work. You both know where you stand now.

The cheek of expecting mates rates ( ie no rate at all) when she doesn’t even consider you a mate. So rude.

Wow!

@AntiAuntieAnty @S0upertrooper we are still allowed outside gatherings of up to 30 in Wales, so totally depends on where OP lives on how many people would be allowed.

[quote mum11970]**@AntiAuntieAnty* @S0upertrooper* we are still allowed outside gatherings of up to 30 in Wales, so totally depends on where OP lives on how many people would be allowed.[/quote]
Ah interesting... thanks for the clarification.

This is so rude and such a pisstake I'm embarrassed for her.

Oh wow...she’s celebrating her birthday on your property, with mutual friends and not even paying you?! I bet you wouldn’t even want to be there the whole time but how rude of her to not invite you to pop over for a drink or something. If I were you, I’d suddenly realise you’ve accidentally double booked the yurt for that weekend! How old is she going to be? 10?!

This had such promise to be a 1000 post thread. But no. Everyone Turned out to be very mature about it all. How disappointing.

Well handled, op.

She should be ashamed of herself! That's awful behaviour on her part. I do hope your mutual friend has set her straight.

@democrazy

Wel I got a response and think you'll all be a bit disappointed, it just says 'OK'. no kisses or anything which I think is a clear sign she is annoyed but I suspect mutual friend has had words. Thanks for all the advice, it's very helpful to be able to sense check my feelings - I can be a pushover at times, but even for me this was a step too far!!

At least you both know where you stand now.

You know you're 'not one of her closest friends' and she knows you're not to be messed with.

Great job, @democrazy.

Wow! That would dissolve our friendship for me! How rude. If I was you I would say so sorry but there has been a date clash / misunderstanding and my family member booked it for that day. Hope you can find something else. It’s really not on her treating you this way so I would not be worried if cancelling the venue for her use upsets her and affects your friendship. How can you ever feel the same way about her again? You do realise she is going to expect her guests to use your toilet!