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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
MrsDrudge · 04/08/2020 22:03

I think it’s rude and I’d be hurt. However, I don’t think it’s worth falling out over. If you charged her, would you be liable for insurance etc?
I’d let the “friendship” cool off, she’s a complete CF.

AhNowTed · 04/08/2020 22:05

She was "embarrassed", but not so embarrassed that she thought "oh yeah I'd better invite democrazy and her DH", like a normal person with an ounce of awareness would do.

The brass neck of her.

Pieceofpurplesky · 04/08/2020 22:06

So disappointed with her answer! I wanted so much more cheeky fuckery from her!
Well done OP

Belledan1 · 04/08/2020 22:06

Well done on sticking up for yourself. Its so rude of her.

KatherineParr4 · 04/08/2020 22:07

I would withdraw my agreement. Say you are concerned about Covid. She is being incredibly rude.

SideEyeing · 04/08/2020 22:08

@Splitsunrise I know. I was looking forward to "Yurtzilla" Grin

KatherineParr4 · 04/08/2020 22:09

Ah, sorry see you’ve got out of it. Well done.

MrsDrudge · 04/08/2020 22:10

Sorry, I missed a page!
What a brilliant response, wish I’d thought of it. Glad you’re not putting up with it, well done!!!

LordOftheRingz · 04/08/2020 22:11

excellent result. So cheeky.

Can I have my party at your house, but you are not invited, but you can watch from over the road, oh and can we use your toilet?

thewisp · 04/08/2020 22:13

What an arsehole! Good for you on handling it the way you did.

It would be bad enough to feel you were being invited just so they could use your space but to not invite you, what planet are they on?!

whenwillthemadnessend · 04/08/2020 22:15

Bloody cheeky. I'd let it go this time as it might affect other friendships but I'd phase her out from now on.

20viona · 04/08/2020 22:16

She is one cheeky bitch.

S0upertrooper · 04/08/2020 22:18

Well played OP! Some people 🙄

Just out of interest (as I'm not in the UK/ can't keep up with "yes but, no but, yes but" is a group of 15 acceptable? We can have a max of 5 people.

Greybutterfly · 04/08/2020 22:20

One word ... wow ... total piss take!!!
You don’t want people like this in your life. She has shown her true colours to her “close friends” ... I hope no one turns up ... what a bitch!!!

Blahblahblah12345 · 04/08/2020 22:21

Wow. What a cf. Good on you op!!!!

AntiAuntieAnty · 04/08/2020 22:21

@S0upertrooper

Well played OP! Some people 🙄

Just out of interest (as I'm not in the UK/ can't keep up with "yes but, no but, yes but" is a group of 15 acceptable? We can have a max of 5 people.

Funnily enough, I had to look this up today and I believe it is 6 people max at the moment. CF's party was meant to be in September though, so she may have been hoping that it would be able to go ahead.
islockdownoveryet · 04/08/2020 22:21

You'd think mutual friend would have said how cf it is and she may have sort of apologised . But I'd never ask a friend if I can use their garden for a party for free but not invite them Confused.
Some people just have a lot of brass neck .

Danilove123 · 04/08/2020 22:21

She’s FULLY mugging you off bab 😶😐

user1471466920 · 04/08/2020 22:21

So incredibly cheeky of your “friend”.

kyles101 · 04/08/2020 22:23

🍿 surely there has to be another update once the friend has a glass of wine and stews on this. Such a CF can't possibly leave it at "OK"

stayathomer · 04/08/2020 22:23

Well done op, can't believe anyone would have the nerve to say you weren't invited to your own set up!!!!

scoobydoo1971 · 04/08/2020 22:26

Please check your insurance policy very carefully before allowing this social gathering. You may not be receiving any payment, but these guests will be on your land. You would be opening up legal liability should any of them have an accident while attending, and it may not even be legal with COVID rules changing quite rapidly. I reckon you are opening yourself up to a whole load of trouble, without any reward.

sadpapercourtesan · 04/08/2020 22:27

Well done for saying no to her.

user1471565182 · 04/08/2020 22:31

Yeah but couldnt you have said 'we wont be doing that because its rude as fuck'?

DarkDarkNight · 04/08/2020 22:32

@kyles101

🍿 surely there has to be another update once the friend has a glass of wine and stews on this. Such a CF can't possibly leave it at "OK"
It is an icy cool, steely passive aggressive ‘ok’ though Grin I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from adding some sort of apology. You can just tell CF friend feels hard done by.
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