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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset my 6 year old got her ears pierced?

328 replies

thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 18:49

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of my daughter (nothing in writing). My daughter is 6 and has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get her ears pierced.

I didn't have a problem with this as she is old enough to ask and she understood it would hurt and would both have to keep them clean. I had said though that we would wait a while as I wasn't sure places were doing it due to coronavirus.

Today I got a FaceTime from my daughter and her dad had taken her into Claire's accessories to get her ears pierced. He hasn't even discussed it with me or let me know. I am more hurt than angry as I feel that's a mummy and daughter activity and I would have at least liked to have been there for it.

After explaining to him that I am disappointed he has apologised. However, I can't help feeling still sad. Also, I went to see my daughter to see her ears and she was telling me that my ex MIL was telling my daughter to tell me that "if you're not fast, your last". This has really pissed me off and I've sent her a text.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 21:19

@thetimehasbegan

Because lots of us wouldn't let a 6 year old have her ears pierced under any circumstances, however much she stamped her feet.

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 21:21

@ChurchOfWokeApostate

I had my ears pierced at 6 weeks old. As did my mum. My dd has hers pierced at 4 months. We aren’t from any type of Spanish ancestry, just from the east end of London. It’s very common round here for baby girls to get their ears pierced, and must have been common in the 60s when my mum was born as well.

In fact, I think it’s far better to get it done as a baby, than 6, 8 or so 10 personally, they don’t touch them, they don’t end up getting infected, and by the time they strt up at school, the holes stay open.
My dd is 9 now, and she wears her earrings all during half terms and at the weekends. No drama taking them out for pe etc,

Who did you find that was happy to pierce a baby of that age?
Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:21

@Yellowfeather but I don't care what lots of you would or would not allow? And that was not my question so why are people forcing their opinions on me when I didn't ask for those opinions?

OP posts:
Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 21:24

Unfortunately, if you ask the questions, you sometimes get answers you're not going to be happy with. You can't control that.

The world is divided into people who think that pierced ears on little girls is horrific, and people who think it's okay.

JacobReesMogadishu · 04/08/2020 21:26

How is she going to manage in PE at school if she has to take them out? Is she old enough to manage this? Lots of schools won’t allow them to be taped over. Dd couldnt manage it at 11yo, never mind 6yo. And when they were out for a full day after only a couple of months they’d heal over a bit in those 8 hours and it was a nightmare pushing them back in.

SmileEachDay · 04/08/2020 21:26

why are people forcing their opinions on me when I didn't ask for those opinions?

They aren’t. It’s an Internet forum - people will share their thoughts; it’s kind of how it works!

PablosHoney · 04/08/2020 21:27

It’s a difficult one to answer though if you don’t like ear piercing, yes I’d be appalled but not for the reasons you are.

NeedsAdvicePlease11 · 04/08/2020 21:29

From mil's catty comment could she have been the one to take her and get it done as its a very strange thing to say. And how did she know you would be upset? Unless her and your ex spoke about it before he and your dd went out.

I know he has 50% rights but u would be sad to. I would have offered to go togther abd the pandemic is over. Becuase now just isnt the time in the grand scheme of things.
There a lots of special moment ahead OP try not to let it get you down.Flowers

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 21:30

When you start a thread it's open to people posting whatever they choose. You don't get to monitor the content and tell posters what you do and don't want to hear, op.
Are you new here?

NeedsAdvicePlease11 · 04/08/2020 21:30

i would be sad too
Correction sorry

Lozz22 · 04/08/2020 21:37

@TheQueef I'd decided at that age I was going to become a drunk monk! No idea where that one came from. Possibly a school trip or something. Apparently I even wrote in fine detail exactly what my job description of being a drunk monk would entail for my class work too 😂 thing is no one in my family unless it was a special occasion so it isn't even like I could've associated alcohol with anything at that age.

thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:39

This reply has been deleted

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Isawthathaggis · 04/08/2020 21:39

@Divoc2020 you’ve summed it up perfectly.

Also it’s one of those threads- OP am I wrong? Everyone - Yes, you are. OP -Waaaa. No I’m not. You’re all not getting it. Confused

Prettybluepigeons · 04/08/2020 21:40

No earrings for school swimming or PE here. Lots of upset girls being told to get dressed again because the swimming coach won't let them in the pool wearing earrings and they dont know how to remove them themselves.

Lelophants · 04/08/2020 21:41

Oh god. Yeah that's awful as that's a decision that needs to be discussed with both parties. I'd be very upset as against it anyway and pretty worried with covid19!

It sounds like be didnt think. Mil is being Hmm

There will be other things op. 6 is very young and she will need help looking after them. The real mummy job!

Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 21:41

I can see where the foot stamping comes from...

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 04/08/2020 21:41

@ChurchOfWokeApostate

I had my ears pierced at 6 weeks old. As did my mum. My dd has hers pierced at 4 months. We aren’t from any type of Spanish ancestry, just from the east end of London. It’s very common round here for baby girls to get their ears pierced, and must have been common in the 60s when my mum was born as well.

In fact, I think it’s far better to get it done as a baby, than 6, 8 or so 10 personally, they don’t touch them, they don’t end up getting infected, and by the time they strt up at school, the holes stay open.
My dd is 9 now, and she wears her earrings all during half terms and at the weekends. No drama taking them out for pe etc,

You say this as if it's a requirement to have pierced ears.
echodot · 04/08/2020 21:41

@thetimehasbegan

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of my daughter (nothing in writing). My daughter is 6 and has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get her ears pierced.

I didn't have a problem with this as she is old enough to ask and she understood it would hurt and would both have to keep them clean. I had said though that we would wait a while as I wasn't sure places were doing it due to coronavirus.

Today I got a FaceTime from my daughter and her dad had taken her into Claire's accessories to get her ears pierced. He hasn't even discussed it with me or let me know. I am more hurt than angry as I feel that's a mummy and daughter activity and I would have at least liked to have been there for it.

After explaining to him that I am disappointed he has apologised. However, I can't help feeling still sad. Also, I went to see my daughter to see her ears and she was telling me that my ex MIL was telling my daughter to tell me that "if you're not fast, your last". This has really pissed me off and I've sent her a text.

AIBU?

Your exMIL is a cheeky fucking bitch. How dare she encourage this? You should be having words with your ex about her
SmileEachDay · 04/08/2020 21:42

I know I should be used to all the nasty bitches by now

People who have different opinions to you are not “nasty bitches” OP.

Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:42

@Isawthathaggis are you thick? I accept I am wrong to be upset that I didn't get to be there. I accept I am wrong for being upset that he didn't discuss it with me first. But I do not accept that I am wrong in allowing my 6 year old to get her ears pierced in the first place, that is down to individual decision. You don't get to decide it's wrong for me, just like I can't decide it's right for you.

OP posts:
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lelophants · 04/08/2020 21:44

Just reread all your responses. Sounds like everyone has gone on at you for allowing ear piercing! Always happens on these AIBU. So nasty. Please dont take it personally.

Parenting etc threads way better.
Tell them all you want to give your daughter botox 😂😂😂

(And I dont like ear piercing either - just dont like people being treated awfully on these threads especially when about something not relevant to what the poster is asking. Kicking them whilst they're down).

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 21:46

are you thick? And you call everyone else nasty bitches?

Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:46

Thank you @Lelophants , have absolutely no problem with people not agreeing with ear piercing so young and understand it is not for everybody. Have no problem with people expressing that in a polite manner but sick of being spoken to like shit on here. Happens on most of the AIBU threads.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 04/08/2020 21:46

@TheQueef
Me too...desperately! ''Stig of the Dump was my dream''. If not a Caveman, a being a Pony would also do.