To suggest eating separately from child

[VoldemortsMaid]

Is it unreasonable to eat separate to your child?

I'm at my wits end with dinner time. I actively dread it. All DD6 does is moan about the food, takes an ungodly amount of time to eat it and chats absolute rubbish the whole time. She gets distracted easy so we're constantly having to remind her to stop yapping and eat otherwise she'd be at the table for 2 hours.

Would it be unreasonable to give her dinner at around 5pm when she's used to having it and then DH and I can eat dinner later and it can actually be nice and we can chat about normal adult things without the constant stream of chat/distraction from DD?

Sorry just realised your dd is 6. At that age I think it is worth persevering . We did eat together then , though in fact.DS was a bit less fussy then. He was still pretty fussy though and we made quite a few concessions to that. I always made sure there was something he would eat as part of the meal.and he would usually try something new though he rarely took more than a bite or two.

Could you engage with her whilst you are preparing your meals with her help so she may be more interested in what she is eating as she helped prepare it and gets all her news out by the time comes to sit down?
Then have a one person talking at once understanding so she knows she must listen and not constantly talk.and tell her and keep to it that after thirty or forty minutes the table will be cleared.
Children of that age are full of chatter as the world is opening up to them all the time and it seems a bit cruel with how you describe her,they won't be home forever ,treasure the time.🌻

Could you sit her in the kitchen, and pre your meal while she eats her tea.
Then offer her a very small plate later on or tell her she is free to play if she doesn't wish to sit with you?

[quote VenusTiger]@kerfuffling where it's possible I personally think it should be done. My son, just turned 7 has always eaten dinner with me and his dad at 18:30ish, he has a snack after school/around 3pm and is happy to eat with us - can't be doing with separate meals, no way! He's never eaten crap though, as I cook one meal for all and that's that - the way I was brought up. He's not a fussy eater, loves herbs, spices, veg. steak, lamb, onions, garlic, seafood, fish etc. as he's watched us eat it over the years and learned that it's okay - kids copy adults they trust. Saying all that, my son is a late sleeper so has plenty of time to digest his dinner even if he's still eating it at 8pm !! arrgh! [/quote]
I agree, in an ideal world, to all eat together.

It physically isn't possible if you aren't at home when it's dinner time for the kids, and a lot of people work weekends, so you don't get the chance to have a normal roast Sunday dinner.

An older child can wait until 6.30, but that is bedtime for tinies.

Oh, and the fussy eater thing... lucky you. Until you've had one, you have no idea what it is like. They don't 'copy adults they trust' when they have an eating disorder such as ARFID.

ARFID is pretty rare though. For most kids fussiness is a stage and they get through it if you keep offering them a range of foods and flavours.

There's no "rules" OP, do what works best for you!

My DH doesn't get home until after the DC are in bed so sometimes I eat with them and save him a plate in the oven, other times I feed them and wait for DH to come home before eating something else with him that they don't eat. My eldest is VERY fussy so if I fancy a curry or something (which they would never touch) then I'll wait for DH and we'll have it in peace.

I also can't bear the faff at dinner time. She has mild sensory issues around food and I can empathize because I was the same as a child but I still can't subject myself to it 7 days a week. She'll play up/delay/mess and I end up pretty irritated. if I'm feeling patient I'll sit with them having a cup of tea but often I'll busy myself with the dishwasher/cleaning so avoid getting frustrated with her. It's not worth the battle and she tends to get on with it a bit better when I'm ignoring her.

We always eat together on the weekends, that's enough for now until they grow out of the PITA stage!

I mix it up. Most of the time we eat together but sometimes my dd eats (and we sit chatting with her) and then my dh and I eat together later.

It actually does wonders for our marriage op