To suggest eating separately from child

[VoldemortsMaid]

Is it unreasonable to eat separate to your child?

I'm at my wits end with dinner time. I actively dread it. All DD6 does is moan about the food, takes an ungodly amount of time to eat it and chats absolute rubbish the whole time. She gets distracted easy so we're constantly having to remind her to stop yapping and eat otherwise she'd be at the table for 2 hours.

Would it be unreasonable to give her dinner at around 5pm when she's used to having it and then DH and I can eat dinner later and it can actually be nice and we can chat about normal adult things without the constant stream of chat/distraction from DD?

Does that include listening to my 7 year olds 257th rewrite of her Christmas list?
Id honestly refer them on to santa...

Ah, now I see... 6 years old.

Honestly... at that age my son was a chatterbox, I used to get locked in the bathroom to have a minute of peace. It was excruciating.

Honestly, I wouldn’t stop eating with her altogether but I would probably give her dinner on her own a few times a week so parents can have a nice dinner time and a good catch up as well. Much healthier for the whole family (and everyone’s sanity!)

Compromise. Feed her by herself mon to thur then have family dinners fri, sat, sun.

I would let her eat at 5 and then you have dinner later.

Do you usually eat at 5 with her, even pre lockdown?

My children are slow eaters, I like the idea of eating our evening meal together, but I do have to keep reminding them both to keep eating instead of chatting.
If it’s a meal I can keep warm, like a shepherds pie or similar, I tend to dish up the kids dinners first, get them started first, and then dish up mine and DH’s 15 minutes or so later, we join them then, and still finish before them

Dh and I eat separately to dc. but one of us sits with them with a cup of tea or something x

My 6yo son is a very fussy eater so if we eat as a family it restricts our family meals a bit (likes most pasta/rice dishes, no dairy or potatoes). That said since lockdown we've been eating more as a family and it seems to give us a lot more evening leisure time as we cook once.

I'd try to go for a mix if you can. I started with 'we always eat together on a Sunday night'. We now eat a mix of maybe 4/5 times per week together but at least a couple on our own.

My son is 13 and still.like this so no, I'd say go ahead he's actually regressed in terms of eating, is incredibly noisy and plays about, spears one huge piece and nibbles it from the fork, will stuff food inside other food, that sort of really infantile arsing around. Wants to drink soup through a straw, drinks in shot glasses etc.
He was so good when he was little, now he's just a pain. I hate eating with him ! 🤣

@SusanKennedyshouldLTB

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

Catherine M. Wallace AUTHOR, POET, ESSAYIST

I think this is very worthy but I am not sure if Catherine Wallace had a chatterbox. At times (especially if trying to do something a little reluctant, like bedtime) it appears to be a stream of consciousness / internal narrative but spoken! Genuinely not "telling me stuff" and not particularly interested in having a two way conversation. Sometimes singing something which morphs into talking and back to a running commentary on the room. I imagine OPs dinner times are like this.

@VoldemortsMaid

We do have breakfast together, she's got a surprising ability to eat breakfast at record speed. Same with lunch, we eat at the table together and it's a bit more relaxed.

Also to the PP who said maybe she doesn't like the food we feed her, well no she doesn't; but if I fed her only the foods she actually liked then we'd live on an extremely boring diet of macaroni, plain chicken and cucumber

Can you not do her a bit of yours and a bit of what she likes? So salmon en croute with pan fried asparagus with some plain chicken, Adobe cucumber and a bit of macaroni . So half a meal of food she likes and half a meal of new

When mine were 8 or less they ate breakfast and dinner at the childminders and I collected them at 6 on the way home after work. DH and I ate after they were in bed. We did eat together at the weekend. Tbh it suited me, every night would have been a pain!

My dc eat dinner separately to us...they eat early after school usually...we eat dinner at 9pm once they're in bed.

We eat lunch together at weekends.

[quote VoldemortsMaid]@swashbucklecheer this was DH's point. He thought it was nice that we had dinner together but we have been doing this for years and she hasn't stopped moaning or eating slowly or doing the things we try to stop her doing. It's absolutely exhausting [/quote]
Just do family meals at the weekend.

Saturday tea and Sunday lunch/brunch.

My husband and I eat later than the children.

But only because he works later, until 7, which is really when the children need to starting the bedtime routine, not only just sitting down for tea.

They eat in the kitchen, and I'm in there with them, either sitting with them, or washing up or something.

At the weekends we usually eat all together.

It makes total sense to do this OP, you won’t leave any permanent psychological scars if you eat separately. Cutting out post lunch snacks is a good idea though.

I have an 8 year old that periodically gets threatened with this. He’ll still be cutting everything up or creating his masterpiece of a wrap when everyone else has finished - he’s constantly asked to STOP BLOODY TALKING and get on with eating otherwise we’ll all leave him to it.

So I say go for it. Plate up her dinner first and read a book while she eats it or something, then enjoy your dinner with your husband later.

I would stop nagging her to eat, and when you and your husband have finished, clear her plate without comment. If she's hungry, she will soon learn to get on with it. If she's not, it won't hurt her. Just don't then make up for it with snacks.

All sit together but talk to your partner and ignore her behaviour. She’s probably doing it because it gets your attention and get you wound up. Put her dinner in front of her then let her be just ignore and praise after if she eats well

We don't eat with our 3 year old. I am in the room with her whilst she eats but she eats at her own little table and at different times to us. I don't eat breakfast and will generally have a small lunch after she's eaten. If we eat together she wants to share her food and eat mine (even if it's the same) and it's just more hassle overall. Do what works for you. We have dinner at 8pm after bedtime. She has dinner at 6pm exactly, some fruit after and bed at half 7. It means I get to eat my one main meal of the day in peace.

My 3yr yaps 😂

When our dses were younger, and had a fairly early bedtime (7.30pm), I used to give them their dinner at about 5pm, so they had time to digest it before bedtime. Dh was often home late - after 6pm most days - so waiting for him and eating together would have meant their dinner time was, in my opinion, too late. Dh and I would eat once the boys were in bed.

We did eat together sometimes - I do think that is important, so children can learn how to behave during a social meal - conversation, table manners etc - and when the boys were old enough, we’d all eat dinner together. It worked for us, and all three boys have grown up able to be pleasant mealtime companions (that sounds awfully pompous but hopefully you know what I mean).

I think a mixture, eat together at weekends or on a couple of days a week otherwise crack on!

Honestly OP, definitely cut the number of days you eat dinner with her and make it pleasant by giving her a mix of what she likes.

Bulk up breakfast with a healthy smoothy and one also with a healthy nice lunch.

Ease off on stressful dinners.
Life is too short.

They do go on an on on their little subjects.
Sometimes I longed for silence.

Sounds like you are doing your best.

Have dinner with your husband and give yourself a break.

Also don't ask her opinion on your food.

I never tolerated a discussion about food, or where it comes from at the table.

Courtesy, respect and appreciation for the meal made by the poor cook...ME!

My DS has his dinner @ 4.30 And then some supper at 6.30. I eat my main meal. Around 8pm when it’s quiet.