To suggest eating separately from child

[VoldemortsMaid]

Is it unreasonable to eat separate to your child?

I'm at my wits end with dinner time. I actively dread it. All DD6 does is moan about the food, takes an ungodly amount of time to eat it and chats absolute rubbish the whole time. She gets distracted easy so we're constantly having to remind her to stop yapping and eat otherwise she'd be at the table for 2 hours.

Would it be unreasonable to give her dinner at around 5pm when she's used to having it and then DH and I can eat dinner later and it can actually be nice and we can chat about normal adult things without the constant stream of chat/distraction from DD?

A bit of a mix is probably sensible. At the moment, we’re doing slots of childcare and work so it doesn’t work schedule wise for us all to eat together. We tend to eat together on my non-working days but on my working days, the children eat at 6 and we eat after bedtime.

I’d ideally like us all to eat together for every meal but that’s not going to be feasible. I don’t however see anything from with having some adult only meals as long as you’re still sitting with her as she’s eating hers.

We've tried giving her half an hour to eat and then clearing up but by the time the half hour is up she's only managed a quarter of her plate & I feel guilty taking the food away from her

how many times did you try that? you have to persist with things like this. I gave my DC2 30 minutes, we all ate together and if we weren't finished within that time, she got as long as we took. She soon learned to eat quicker... (you do have to make sure they get something later if you know they're hungry though. Something exceedingly boring though.)

What's breakfast and lunch times like? I think parents sanity is v important and you should do what's best for that... some bits of parenting really grind my gears and that's when I accompany them with wine

We always have dinner after the dc. We have breakfast and lunch together but evening meal - nope!

I sit with them with a cuppa, or do the dishes and they sit at the kitchen table etc.

Every one is on their last nerve at the moment

We have different meal times but I have two kids at home so they always eat together. I’ll normally grab something light. But if dh is home we will all eat together as it’s rare we’re all sat round a table.

My 7 year old can talk shit for England. She actually gives me head aches so I understand how you feel

Take the pressure off and do with what works for now. We see weekends as every one at the table time through the week it’s pretty much adhock

@GreytExpectations Apologies, I won't be winning parent of the year award any time soon but after a full 9 hours of being talked at about teen titans, the dog, Pokemon & the floor is lava quite frankly I'd like some peace and quiet!!!

I think it’s fine , have breakfast and lunch with her when you can and perhaps a family dinner ( evening) on Saturday and Sunday . When she goes back to school she will probably want dinner earlier than you would want it anyway . We rarely ate in the evening in the week with ours when they were pre 10/11 as dh didn’t get in from work until 7/8 which was too late for their dinner and I was invariably cooking 3 different meals anyway to cater for the different requirements / dietary restrictions.

You can be annoyed if you want but it's pretty sad that you want to avoid family mealtimes because you can stand to be a round your own child.

6yos do jabbed on about shite a lot. Mine does, as does his 8yo sister.

There are some gems in there, but interspersed amongst the nonsense/tv chat/etc.

@GreytExpectations

The way you'd escribe your 6 year old talking is pretty poor. "Yapping" and "chatting rubbish" really? She is a child, that's just the way they are. Maybe have a kinder attitude towards her

I know!! I thought she was being naughty but then the op has said she’s not. She’s complaining about a 6 year old speaking about topics relevant to a 6 year old! At least she’s attempting to hold a conversation over dinner. I wonder how much time the op actually spends sitting and listening to her if she’s complaining about a small child talking bollocks at the dinner table. I’ve got a 3,4,9&11 year old and I’m oh is working away, I love the daft dinner chatter but the op would probably have a hernia!

What meals are you giving her ? No Point giving food she dislikes

Kwym about eating meals in peace tho

And tbh 5pm is too early for me unless I’m going to work. I work nights

Or else I nibble /hungry 9 Ish

Yes it’s nice to eat together but she would be happy with sitting there with a cuppa talking about her /your day

We try to eat together at weekends

We do have breakfast together, she's got a surprising ability to eat breakfast at record speed. Same with lunch, we eat at the table together and it's a bit more relaxed.

Also to the PP who said maybe she doesn't like the food we feed her, well no she doesn't; but if I fed her only the foods she actually liked then we'd live on an extremely boring diet of macaroni, plain chicken and cucumber

Are you giving her too much on her plate?

Tbh, as a child I found eating with the family very stressful and I acted up a lot. I hate the sound of other people eating, so I think I wittered on and played up to try to cover it. Eventually my parents were so sick of my behaviour dominating every meal that they put a small table in another room for me. It was a huge relief for us all.

Yes but the OP is only saying it's an issue at mealtimes

So no doubt she listens to her the rest of the time. But at mealtimes, when the words jibber jabber is coming out, the food is not going in

If eating separately will relieve stress then do it! Life’s too short to be pissed off every dinner time.
Stick her in front of the tv and pour yourself a wine my friend!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz yes, thank you.

I grudgingly listen to her talking all day and ask her what new things have happened in whatever show/game she's watching but at dinner time I want her to sit and eat her dinner not talk incessantly through it!

I’d give her more food at breakfast and lunch then, and less for dinner.

During the week the DC eat their tea around 5pm and me and DH have ours later around 7.30pm as he doesnt get in from work until after 6pm. On the weekend we all eat together though.

Gove her half an hour to eat and then mealtime is over. If she hasn't eaten much save her plate and offer it to her a bit later if she's hungry.

Maybe watching less online gran and less cartoons, and more discussion about life and watching some decent documentaries will bring conversation subjects you can stand better.

Gran=crap

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

Catherine M. Wallace AUTHOR, POET, ESSAYIST

Eat together, serve the food, chat and eat, she can see the example you are setting like using cutlery correctly, and when you and husband are finished, clear your plates away and leave her at the table for a bit. Maybe stay in the area where she is at the table, but chat only with your husband and ignore her, if she asks something, say you are just chatting to daddy and will talk when she's finished.

Can you try and encourage her to be more independent at other times of the day? That way you may have had a chance at some peace and quiet without feeling "yapped at" and be more ready to listen and engage.

If you feel she eats pasta and chicken with no fuss, just give her pasta and chicken until she gets fed up and asks for something else herself.

I dont think YABU to want a peaceful mealtime. I often find that teatime is when you can actually start to wind down, I enjoy eating with my son but he is older now and it's not quite as exhausting.

I eat with my kids at 5pm about 3
Times a week, the other times OH and I eat when they are in bed, but when they’re at I sit there and make small talk!!