To think extroverts are strangely viewed.

[Thewheelsfelloffthebus]

Something I’ve noticed recently - it seems to be a “thing” to declare yourself as an introvert. Additionally I’ve been bombarded with ads on Facebook etc that are tagged “for introverts” - for example “learn how to do x even though you’re an introvert”.

It’s as though extraverts are unseemly or something. Now I know that generally this type of post will bring out a million introverts (funnily enough never the extroverts).

It's not a case of simply 'not liking' something. That's a bit watery. Lots of people dislike open plan offices, endless meetings and social situations - any or all of these. We all have our preferences. But introverts are more likely to feel overwhelmed and need quiet time to offset the sensory overload.

But introverts are more likely to feel overwhelmed and need quiet time to offset the sensory overload.

It's a huge struggle sometimes. Especially if you're sat around chatty people or a noisy area.

After a Monday to Friday in the office i'm often left shattered and need the entire weekend in solitude to unwind before going again. Most of the office go in at the weekend for overtime when it's offered (double time) and i'd like the money but I have to have the downtime.

Working from home has been a godsend, but the irony is now i've got the energy to socialise at the weekend we're in a pandemic and i'm stuck in the house 7 days a week. It'd be great to wfh in normal times.

I kind of see what you mean OP - I think extroverts generally get a bad rap (we’re all loud shallow idiots who love small talk hahaha) but I’m not bothered about adverts for introverts etc, doesn’t worry me at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well no one's ever told me they're an extravert.

@StCharlotte

I think extroverts generally get a bad rap (we’re all loud shallow idiots who love small talk hahaha

I think it draws more on extremes with both. A lot of people are a blend of the two. Really loud people aren't that common, that's why they're more noticed.

In work we did the exercise to see which personality type you fall in and 80% came under extrovert and the trainer said it's nearly always the case. Introverts are very much the minority (at least in the UK).

Humans are social creatures ultimately and introverts are treated as if there's something wrong with them for not blending in to an extrovert world. The more acute extroverts might be deemed loud and brash or annoying or whatever but the genuine introverts are often written off as shy, awkward, quiet, stuck up, not team players etc.

Btw I’ve never considered extroverts to be any of the negative things been described here! I’m an introvert but my sister is an extrovert. I admire her and would describe her as someone who doesn’t let things fester like myself and she will nip things in the bud such as anything bothering her she will discuss openly. She also doesn’t like being alone so often I would be invited over if she’s home alone. Never understood this as this is my idea of heaven having a whole evening to myself on my own

Just to add if I had a choice and there was a magic pill to turn me into an extrovert I would take it! But that’s just ME. I think 90% of my problems would disappear if I was more extroverted like my sister as she doesn’t keep things inside and is very sociable so doesn’t dwell on things so always Too busy to give a s**t about small stuff. I don’t think she’s shallow, I think she has so much going on it’s hard to be fully invested in everything n everyone all the time.

Whereas my social interactions are probably once a week if that so I have more time to dwell on things. I think that’s where misconceptions about extroverts being shallow come from. I can fully understand why it would appear that way but I also have to understand extroverts have busier lives and more social friends do they cannot invest so much time and energy in one or two people

@Sakura7

I find it strange how worked up people seem to be getting over some memes. As if it's proof that all introverts must feel superior, when in reality we've been made to feel inferior most of our lives.

No minority, disregarded or oppressed group is ever allowed their moment in the sun on Mumsnet.

It comes from the same school of thought as "Parent and child spaces should be removed because they give someone a perceived advantage, and hidden disabilities need it more, etc etc"

A fair few people on here don't like anyone getting "special attention" or however they perceive it. It's not introverts, it's anyone who needs a hand up in society.

Maybe you have been bombarded on social media because introverts are more likely to spend time on there than extroverts ?

I feel I lean more towards introvert than extrovert. I think both can be viewed in an unfairly negative way from the other side.

FTR, the only time I have an issue with extroverts is when they think their need for company/entertainment overrules my need for solace (I’ve had a few of these in my life, but I don’t judge all extroverts by them), or the ones at work who plan loads of “fun” group activities at meetings. Said activities are usually infantilising, cringeworthy and a waste of time. Other than that, I appreciate extroverts for what they bring to the table.

I think for so long everything has been set up for extroverts, everything revolved round how many friends you had, being popular, wanting to go out all the time, work socials were seen as a must to enhance your career, networking was seen as equating yo being good at your job, feeding off others energy and geeing people up. Basically you were a success if you operated in a very close dynamic relationship, you had to be one of the team. This has lead to a lot of stress for many introverts who, whilst being good at their actual job found all the other stuff very draining. Unless someone I go to the pub with has something genuinely interesting to say, I don’t really get anything out of it, it’s a waste of my time and energy. I get nothing out of “just being with people”.

I think lockdown has flipped things on its head, it has created an environment where being an introvert has helped with success. You don’t need the energy of your team around you to get you going in the morning You’re naturally a self starter, everything you need comes from within, it’s so nice to sit at your desk/table without the draining force of those around you, there’s been no demands to go to the pub to show you’re one of the team, it’s been so easy not having to see anyone, zoom has been good to chat with people I actually like. It’s been so lovely to spend time exploring the wonders of one’s mind without someone interrupting with inane chat about love island just to fill what they perceive as an awkward silence. Quite frankly lockdown has been bloody bliss. All the books I’ve been able to read, the nice conversations I’ve had with my family, all without the extrovert energy dementors. People have finally realised being an introvert has so many advantages after years of being labelled shy and boring. Unhappy introverts are the most interesting people as they spend a lot of time thinking.

Actually not unhappy lol

Lol - this OP made me laugh cos MN is the natural habitat of the proud introvert. I think all anybody demonstrates by declaring themselves an introvert is that they have very little interest in psychology. You don’t have to go very far before you realise that this is not how personalities work.

YANBU, OP. I’ve noticed this trend in recent years - endless memes and tumblr text posts in which introverts are depicted as sensitive, soulful, deep-thinkers who will literally die if separated from a book for more than an hour and who exist in some semi-projected astral plane of thriving houseplants and very aesthetic cups of tea. By contrast, extroverts are essentially viewed as golden retriever puppies who exhibit the sensitivity of a church bell and have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

People like to associate themselves with introversion because it’s seen as a shorthand for intelligence, complexity, self-possession, individuality, and other desirable qualities. Of course, not one of those is unique to being introverted, but people don’t like to acknowledge that introverts can be (and often are) boring, stupid, shallow and vain. Just as extroverts can be too!

The reality is there are no true introverts or true extroverts, because those people would be sectionable. Everyone exists on a nice, wide spectrum and shows introverted or extroverted tendencies depending on the situation. But that’s a lot less fun that posting a photo of a beautiful stack of leather bound books in a shaft of dusty sunlight with the caption ‘my idea of heaven’, eh.

Extroverts are fine. fun, friendly, nice.

Extroverts who won't accept that you don't share their idea of fun are not.
Come on, come out, have a drink, don't be boring, come on dance come on come on...

I think lockdown has flipped things on its head, it has created an environment where being an introvert has helped with success

It's not appreciated how difficult the norm is for introverts. At least in this country the vast majority of the workforce is catered to extroverts. Open plan offices, call centres, public facing jobs - these are all extrovert environments. Introverts either have to adapt (be someone they're not) or be negatively judged and perceived (too quiet, unassertive, not a team player etc). Not only that but they have to deal with team bonding sessions and endless group meetings. Team nights out are more optional but again it's an extrovert environment.

Working from home saves a lot of introverts from 40 hours a week of misery or anxiety from the busy office.

@AnEleanor
I would genuinely love to be educated. How DO personalities work with regard to the extrovert/introvert types?

For many extroverts I think Lockdown has given them something of an insight into how uncomfortable our "normal" world has been for introverts for many years. I was working from home (mainly self-employed) before Lockdown and dread the thought of having to go back into an office or similar where I'll have limited freedom over my time and schedule and have to spend hours in inane chit chat. Zoom is bad enough though I can play the chitchat rictus smile thing game after years of practice. Still leaves me exhausted though.

I also work much better during late afternoon and the hours of darkness but in a world built around extroverts convention decrees I have to work more or less 9 to 5. As a lifelong introvert who's worked for several different organisations I've also seen many extroverts get promoted way above their abilities because they're good at telling people in high places what they're doing. The fact that the people in high places never seem to question why it is that said extroverts have so much time to ensure the Great and the Good know what they're allegedly up to is a whole different conversation....in public life I'd put someone like our current PM or Trump firmly into the extrovert camp whereas someone like Bill Gates would be more of an introvert, say. And then there are people who might be the life and soul of the party with close friends and family but wither inside at the thought of having to do typically extrovert things outside that circle like team sports or karaoke or doing the flamenco on the table in a crowded bar....So I don't think extroverts are viewed strangely, but in the West at least on a personal level they have had more airtime, if you like.

[quote Thewheelsfelloffthebus]@MoonBabysMagicalKalimba is that not more about worrying about a child’s confidence?[/quote]
No, that's just your perception. I was a very confident child, and am a confident adult, but I'm an introvert. It's not the same thing.

I'd speak up in school/classes when I had something to say, but not (like most of the others) just speaking for the sake of it. If I wasn't sure about an answer, I'd keep quiet rather than splurting out the first thing that came into my head. Year after year, teacher after teacher, made a big thing about me being too quiet - did they actually think that mentioning it constantly would suddenly "cure" me??

As an adult, I taught myself accountancy and gained a professional qualification. I've worked my way up in firms to managerial/director level and now run my own business. You need confidence to do all that. I'm still an introvert.

Extroverts are fine. fun, friendly, nice.

Except the ones who think they can "cure" you by socialising, partying, etc. The ones who won't take no for an answer. The ones who bully you into doing things you don't want to do and then criticise you for not being the life & soul of the party. The ones who criticise you for not being a team player, etc etc.

@Kazzyhoward

Extroverts are fine. fun, friendly, nice.

Except the ones who think they can "cure" you by socialising, partying, etc. The ones who won't take no for an answer. The ones who bully you into doing things you don't want to do and then criticise you for not being the life & soul of the party. The ones who criticise you for not being a team player, etc etc.

Is that not exactly the point I made in the second sentence of my post?

My only gripe being an introvert (mainly down to me having gad) is at work.
So every company I have ever worked for will tell me in my reviews "you are fantastic at your job, but I'm marking you down cause you haven't had enough interaction with Bob and Susan like Dave has" Bob and Susan work 3 offices over and have nothing to do with my job and Dave is actually terrible at his job.
Dave though being an extrovert, goes around telling random people how good he is, socialises with Bob and this gets him noticed.
This is how every company I have worked for is set up and it is detrimental to introverted people.

A few posters have commented about extroverts being seen as not as intelligent as introverts. Obviously personality type has little impact on intellectual ability for the majority (although I think I once read that 3/4 of people with what is commonly considered a genius IQ were introverted in line with Jung’s personality types) I think the differences in personality type (and I appreciate this is a sliding scale - or maybe most people are ambiverts putting on a performance or a certain persona) is that introverts tend to find extroverts surrounded by a lot of noise and potentially movement. An introvert might find themselves wading through a lot of fluff to access what they think is the important message, it’s one of the reasons extroverts can seem quite draining, There’s a lot of effort involved in interacting with extroverts . It might be possible to admire them from a distance, a bit like a tiger, beautiful but you don’t want to invite them round for tea. Introverts, not necessarily natural fans of small talk might come across as dry and unfeeling, but when they talk they do so to say something important, introverts are usually very comfortable with silence.

The above is meant as an example and will obviously differ from person to person.

I personally love speaking with strangers. They tend to offer something new and I love having the opportunity to learn about new experiences and perspectives, people often think I’m an extrovert when we first meet but I’ve just put effort into creating a dynamic and giving out some energy to test the waters with this person. I like talking with close friends late into the night about things we all find of interest, challenging Each other’s and our own thoughts. What I hate is interacting with the inbetweeners, work colleagues, school mums etc. I’ve trained myself to put on a performance of interaction, there’s a script that I follow, it fulfils a purpose but I get nothing out of it It only drains me.

I