To think extroverts are strangely viewed.

[Thewheelsfelloffthebus]

Something I’ve noticed recently - it seems to be a “thing” to declare yourself as an introvert. Additionally I’ve been bombarded with ads on Facebook etc that are tagged “for introverts” - for example “learn how to do x even though you’re an introvert”.

It’s as though extraverts are unseemly or something. Now I know that generally this type of post will bring out a million introverts (funnily enough never the extroverts).

I think that online journalists tend to be more introverted than their newspaper or tv counterparts so the online content is skewed towards people like themselves.

It is a common misconception that extroverts are confident so don't need building up though.

I can't help wonder why those in the middle don't get catered for.

At the moment it's very on trend to declare yourself an introvert. Stereotype classic that an extrovert is being all 'oi oi' loud etc while the demure introvert is just drained by all things social and needs to recuperate after every interaction. It's a scale and most aren't at the extreme, also for some it depends on the situation. Also confused with shy or socially awkward which is probably why it's helpful to have a more positive focus on it...

@MoonBabysMagicalKalimba

When you get right down to the root of it, all it boils down to is that introverts recharge their batteries by being alone. They can go to a big party, or a crazy hen weekend, and be sociable and have a good time, but afterwards they must have time on their own to recharge.

Whereas extroverts recharge by being around others, and refuel themselves by feeding off of the social interactions.

Exactly, it's got nothing to do with having an outgoing or shy personality. It's about energy. People misuse the words constantly!

To be honest, if you have been clicking on any of the articles you will get more of them cause of cookies etc. I get your point though.
Another point to consider is that the internet is a bit of a haven for introverts so they will have quite a presence on there that they may not have in real life. Plus they may spend more of their day on there. i can easy spend 8 hours straight on the internet and not speak to a single soul in real life
Also an extrovert may potentially find it easier to just go discuss their issues with a friend than an introvert.

I think introversion has become more socially (ha!) ‘accepted’. It’s more in tune now with things like -
Living a quieter more sustainable life
Drinking less - young people in partic
Taking more responsibility for eg environmental issues leading to an acceptance of a
Smaller individual world no matter whether ext or introvert.
The whole hyyge (sp?) and tiny house and decluttering movements/trends.
Plus of course now lockdown/Covid.
Etc

Introversion is more suited to the current zeitgeist than it has been for a long time I think.

It's about capitalism and marketing, surely? Extroverts are the ones likely to be out there doing stuff (and paying to do that stuff). Introverts are more likely to be doing less stuff and paying less money (in theory).

Introverts clearly feel "unseen" and that's why there's now advertising geared towards them. Extroverts dont really need that.

epy agree fully. The q was indeed ‘why all the advertising?’

Thing is, workplace life can be hard for those with an introversion preference as can parenting. I worked with someone who must have been quite a strong I and you could see that long meetings really drained her. She’d need a proper chance to decompress in silence. I suspect she’s finding the world of constant zoom calls horrid.

There is this subtype of smug as fuck people who identify as introverts with an "I'm so deep I don't even need human contact" attitude. You find them on coronavirus threads pouring scorn on people struggling with feeling lonely due to lockdown.

Introverts/extroverts were never explained properly to me when I was younger. I was always pushed to be doing more, things like school clubs but really I'd have been much happier at home on my own after school and theres nothing wrong with that.

Same in my early 20s, I'd be out partying every fri and sat night and meeting different friends throughout the week but honestly I didn't enjoy it but life inched taught me I should be enjoying it and that what i should be doing

Last year I read up on introverts and i fit the bill perfectly. Lots of my friends are extroverts though and cant see why I'd want to be alone so I do now say I'm an introvert. I shouldn't have to explain why I dont want to see people all the time but some people just cant understand it

Yes echo belly I've definitely noticed this. Introversion is the new big thing.

The whole extrovert vs introvert thing confuses me. Most people seem to think that an introvert is reserved, quiet and unsociable whilst an extrovert is loud, brash and confident. I understand though that the differentiating factor between an introvert and extrovert is actually if they derive their energy from being around others or from being alone.

I'm a loud and sociable introvert. I enjoy being around other people but find it drains my energy and I need time alone to recharge. I imagine most of the people that know me would wrongly describe me as an extrovert.

Saying society is set up for extroverts is bonkers. Of course positive traits like confidence and assertiveness are prized but there is no reason why introverts can't have those traits too even if they have to work a little harder sometimes to ascertain them. I think some introverts are so desperate to justify the negative aspects of their personality (such as lack of confidence) that they want to assign them to some kind of psychological condition and being a self proclaimed introvert is as close as they can get to this. This way they can avoid doing the work to actually develop themselves and instead can hide behind their introvert status and claim that they simply can't help how they are and to suggest otherwise is almost some kind of discrimination

I think trying to define yourself solely as extrovert/introvert is just another example of this weird society where people need to define themselves as “something” to make them selves feel special and important.

The thing is OP this world is set up for extroverts. I’m an introvert, in that I need my own quiet space to recharge, but I’m also very sociable and was (in preCOVID times) generally the life and soul of the party.

However most workplaces are geared towards extroverts and being forced into icebreakers, games or presentations, when you hate being the centre of that sort of focused attention is very anxiety inducing and I think workplaces need to start understanding this. Also “are you ok, you’re very quiet today?” just destroys my soul. I’m just getting on with my work, I’ll have a chat and be sociable but the minute I get my head down for an hour ugh.

I don’t think extroverts get any of this.

I worked with someone who must have been quite a strong I and you could see that long meetings really drained her.

That's not about the introvert/extravert thing, that's about meetings. They're soul-destroying.

@LioneIRichTea
However most workplaces are geared towards extroverts and being forced into icebreakers, games or presentations, when you hate being the centre of that sort of focused attention is very anxiety inducing and I think workplaces need to start understanding this
I'm an introvert and don't have a problem with these things. I know an extrovert that absolutely hates all of this stuff and gets very anxious about public speaking and being the centre of attention in this way. She however genuinely finds it draining to be alone and really needs other people to feel energised.

Just popping in to say Myers Briggs is bollocks.

@MoonBabysMagicalKalimba

When you get right down to the root of it, all it boils down to is that introverts recharge their batteries by being alone. They can go to a big party, or a crazy hen weekend, and be sociable and have a good time, but afterwards they must have time on their own to recharge.

Whereas extroverts recharge by being around others, and refuel themselves by feeding off of the social interactions.

People keep saying this but I don't know where it comes from, I suspect from the dreadful cod psychology of Myers Briggs.

The dictionary definition of introvert is 'shy, reticent person' with a secondary definition from psychology of 'A person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things' and of 'extrovert' is 'an outgoing, socially confident person' with the seçondary meaning of 'A person predominantly concerned with external things or objective considerations'.

So the reason why we keep hearing so much about introverts is that they are self obsessed! The energy thing I think is nonsense, I know no-one who is constantly up in the way the above definition suggests.

@PsuedoSatisfactionBaby

I think trying to define yourself solely as extrovert/introvert is just another example of this weird society where people need to define themselves as “something” to make them selves feel special and important.

This 👏👏👏

@Thewheelsfelloffthebus

Or are you confusing being an introvert with being shy?

I think you've hit the nail on the head. So much of the discussion is about confident extroverts versus shy introverts which helps no-one. I really enjoy social interaction but not really the sound of my own voice () so I might sometimes sit back a bit in but groups. According to MBTI I'm an extrovert but probably if you asked some of the people in that group they'd say otherwise, because we're so used to equating it with confidence/social "dominance" I suppose. I rarely find any high level discussions of introversion or extroversion useful for that reason.

I definitely think that there's been a shift towards seeing introversion as the deeper, more intelligent type of person and that some people are very annoying and smug about this. Psychological labels that people give themselves are often like this - see also people who declare themselves 'highly sensitive people'.

Oh, I've always thought it was the other way around - that introverts get criticised. Life is harder as an introvert - the world is really set up for people who aren't introverted I think.

I think that very few people, extrovert or introvert, feel that the world is set up for them, but that some people feel more hard done to than others about this. Some of the introvert lit that OP refers to (which is definitely a thing) essentially says it's a form of oppression that introverts are still expected to meet basic standards of politeness, e.g. telling someone if they won't be attending an event or showing a minimum level of interest in other people.

I definitely think that there's been a shift towards seeing introversion as the deeper, more intelligent type of person and that some people are very annoying and smug about this.

I agree. Mumsnet has loads of threads from introverts who are saying how much they enjoy lockdown, and insinuate that people who can't cope with the isolation somehow have something wrong with them.

There are also many threads from "introverted" posters who never answer the phone or doorbell because their time is so much more important than anyone else's. That's not to say that there aren't people with genuine anxiety about talking to other people, but these threads are usually about how dare someone want to talk to them or see them without a written invitation three weeks in advance.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I am married to one, but I dislike that too many people use the term to excuse what is just plain rude behaviour. And how extroverts are seen as loud, and arrogant and completely lacking in empathy.

My introvert husband is quiet and doesn't like being with lots of people. He doesn't "do" small talk and can be pretty antisocial at times, but he is confident and assertive when the occasion arises. He does answer the phone and the front door

Like the OP I would say I am borderline, but veering slightly on the extrovert side. I am sociable, and sometimes find DH's lack of wanting to be sociable with other people rather stifling.

There’s negativity around both introverts and extroverts.
I’m an enfj (Myers Briggs) I will literally talk to anyone drives Dh crackers, but I have noticed it makes new people very suspicious of me. I’m
Accused of being ‘too nice/friendly’ often and I seem to be quite marmite.
Introverts settle into larger new social/friendship groups more easily in my experience. For example last workplace 2 ladies started at the same time one very outgoing, louder and other introverted. The more introverted lady was accepted by the wider team quite quickly the other lady I heard described as full of herself.