To think extroverts are strangely viewed.

[Thewheelsfelloffthebus]

Something I’ve noticed recently - it seems to be a “thing” to declare yourself as an introvert. Additionally I’ve been bombarded with ads on Facebook etc that are tagged “for introverts” - for example “learn how to do x even though you’re an introvert”.

It’s as though extraverts are unseemly or something. Now I know that generally this type of post will bring out a million introverts (funnily enough never the extroverts).

I get what you mean OP. I'm an extrovert and a lot of the things I read online seem to suggest that extroverts are shallow, needy and ignorant to the feelings of introverts.

In normal times introverts have to adapt to extrovert preferences. Open plan offices for example.

It's temporary flipped during the pandemic as introverts are more likely to be less affected by the loss of social interraction of lockdown and restricitons.

No articles for extraverts in lockdown?

You haven't looked very much

www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/culture/a32327963/lockdown-extrovert/
www.forbes.com/sites/karlmoore/2020/03/22/help-im-an-extrovert-working-remotely/
kahoot.com/kahoot-news/how-to-deal-with-lockdown-as-an-extrovert-when-me-time-is-your-idea-of-hell/

There's more, if you want them

I don't like the introvert/extrovert division. It has turned into this weird polarizing concept that gives people an excuse to be a certain way. Most people are a mix and I do think it's important to take these personality types into consideration but it has turned into ridiculous and far removed from the idea which gives person more energy. Introvert can totally be brilliant at small talk, extrovert can enjoy being in the corner at the party etc. But I feel like these concepts are now just used to put people on boxes and used as an excuse for bad behaviour. A person is bullying and being found and obnoxious "lolz, I'm an extrovert" or a person cancelles on last minute or doesn't want to show up to mother in laws birthday or a mandatory work do "I'm an introvert, I don't have to"

@netflixismysidehustle

I think that online journalists tend to be more introverted than their newspaper or tv counterparts so the online content is skewed towards people like themselves.

It is a common misconception that extroverts are confident so don't need building up though.

I can't help wonder why those in the middle don't get catered for.

haha @netflixismysidehustle is this for real?

I have worked in and around this industry for two decades and I cannot point to any authority that would support your statement that online are more introverted than newspaper journalists...I mean, what is the criteria here? That they write for a computer screen, so that makes them different to people who write for print?

I have employed and worked with both categories of offline/offline, and you know the crazy thing? some of them write for both!!

So what happens then? Do they go all introverted when they're penning for the web, but get all out there when they need to write a column for the Sundays?

YABU, I can't even...

*In normal times introverts have to adapt to extrovert preferences. Open plan offices for example.

It's temporary flipped during the pandemic as introverts are more likely to be less affected by the loss of social interraction of lockdown and restricitons.*

This is exactly it, and what posters have meant when they have said the world is "built for extroverts". It's so ingrained as normal, we don't question it. Working in open plan offices, endless meetings, training events that consist of icebreakers and a lot of conversation where interaction is expected, and networking events. This is the norm for a lot of people who work in office based industries, but for introverts, this constant level of interaction is exhausting and outside of their comfort zone. It's what PPs have meant when comparing it to racism; when you have the privilege, you don't even notice it and just accept it as normal.

With covid, this has effectively stopped and the way we work has completely changed. Extroverts never paid much attention to the way things were before, because for them, that level of interaction was comfortable. Now that has been removed, extroverts are suffering somewhat.

The sensible thing to do would be to realise that both Is and Es have something to offer the workplace, but in different ways, and to incorporate both of the above work scenarios into our cultures and let people play to their strengths.

I agree with much of the criticism of the intro/extravert debate so far. The book 'Quiet' indeed made me yell for the same lack of consistency over what an 'introvert' is. However, the underlying message is true. As an introvert with introverted OH, we have a highly introverted son, by any measure. What I find remarkable is the extent to which school encourages all the things valued in the workplace: group work, presentations, teams, day-in, day-out, year after year; all things my DS simply hates (and I hated and still hate if I'm honest). It is super tough to be in a world that says thou shalt master working with others when all you want to do is quietly read and delve deep into a topic all on your tod.

For me, my entire life my introversion has been seen as a negative thing. Every school report would talk about how I needed to speak up more, needed to come out of my shell, be more involved in class discussions etc. In the workplace I’ve been told I need to speak up more, be more assertive, basically be something I’m not, an extrovert. I’m fed up of being told I should come out of my shell. I like my shell. I am happy as an introvert and I wish more people would understand that not everyone wants to strive to be an extrovert and that some of us are just happy as we are and wish the world could adapt more to us and and not expect us to act like something we aren’t.

According to Myers-Briggs, I am an INFJ (a type of Introvert). I was massively into Drama as a child, socialised as a teenager etc. I've worked in Sales roles and I'll give most things a go. But, I recoup my energy from being alone. I didn't realise this until a few years ago, why I was the way I was. I remember going on school trips and being surrounded by others all day.By the end of the day, I would start to become quiet where I was overstimulated and needed time alone to re-energise. Too many people mistake being introvert with shyness. I'm not shy but I am energised by alone time. In comparison, extroverts are energised by being around other people

I think the reason for a lot of these memes is that being an introvert is often misunderstood and being an extrovert seems to be more valued in society. Extroverts have lots of great qualities, but so do introverts, but they are often overlooked.

I think the reason for a lot of these memes is that being an introvert is often misunderstood and being an extrovert seems to be more valued in society. Extroverts have lots of great qualities, but so do introverts, but they are often overlooked.

This ^

I don’t agree, I think the world (or certainly the online world) is totally geared towards introverts. But introverts online tend to be LOUD and act as though they’re an oppressed minority, when in reality it’s extroverts who are oppressed.

If you are anything less than a total hermit then you get treated like shit online. I’m an extreme introvert, but I also enjoy and need at least a little human contact and the comments I’ve received online for suggesting that not speaking to a single person in three months is mentally damaging were appalling.

Of course many self-declared “introverts” live with family and partners, and many of them spend a huge amount of time socialising online. Yet they have the nerve to be judgy on people who are genuinely socially isolated.

Most of the rudest, most bullying and most entitled behaviour I’ve experienced has been from introverts. Yet it’s extroverts who are demonised. Because society puts introversion on a pedestal and acts like it’s a virtue.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently after a discussion with a group of friends all of whom declared themselves introverts. I get where they were coming from but to the impartial observer they are all as extrovert as they come. I think almost everyone (especially busy working mothers which they all are) craves quiet time alone and sometimes those that appear more extrovert feel criticised for the fact they cope better with the busy world they live in and feel the need to play up their more 'introvert' traits when these discussions come up so people dont think the world comes easy to them.

If I had to just pick one I'd say i was probably more extrovert than some but I hate ice breakers, public speaking makes me feel physically sick and if I dont get time alone I get really anxious. Maybe I'm not extrovert, maybe I just grew up the middle child in a large family and I learnt to make myself heard when necessary? And I think that's the point - everyone is a mixture of experience, personality and circumstance; how we react internally and externally to the situations we find ourselves in can be very different and our innate introversion/extraversion is a very small part of that.

Labels are the curse of real understanding.

It causes people to put others into boxes and then label the whole box the same. "Introverts are bullies", "Extroverts are loud", "Introverts are selfish", "Extroverts are narcissists" and so on.

It's just another way to gang up and insult the other gang. It's cod psychology and we should be smarter than that.

The open plan office example is weird, why would they be something that benefit extraverts and punish introverts?
No one likes them, but they are generally much cheaper these days which is why companies go for them.

What I find remarkable is the extent to which school encourages all the things valued in the workplace: group work, presentations, teams, day-in, day-out, year after year; all things my DS simply hates (and I hated and still hate if I'm honest). It is super tough to be in a world that says thou shalt master working with others when all you want to do is quietly read and delve deep into a topic all on your tod.

But wouldn't it be bizarre if school didn't encourage skills that, as you say, are valued in the workplace? Do you think it's wrong that schools also encourage private study and that exams are taken in silence and alone when some students don't like that?

I think some people imagine that everyone except them finds all these things easy, and so that they're exceptionally hard done to. Almost everyone has to practice at public speaking and group work and find them a bit daunting at least some of the time. That's exactly why they're skills that have to be practiced.

Because society puts introversion on a pedestal and acts like it’s a virtue.

If that's the case then why are introverts constantly chastised in school or work environments for not speaking up more, not being 'team players', etc? As PPs have said, workplaces are built around extrovert preferences, and having introvert traits is generally seen as a negative thing.

I agree with @Minai, this is the type of experience many introverts go through. We're not asking for brownie points or to be seen as deep and intelligent, we're simply asking to be allowed to be ourselves.

I know what you mean OP but I think the reason it's become a thing to declare yourself an introvert is, up until relatively recently, being an introvert was considered abnormal. Now it is slowly being recognised that introversion is not a disorder, and that by making the education system and business world more 'introvert friendly, there are benefits for everyone. The education system (very generally speaking) tends to reward extroverts - children are usually asked to learn in groups, speak up in class and share their opinions in front of groups, and so on. Not negative things at all, but children who work best by being in their own space, have quiet times to reflect on tasks and solve problems by working them out alone - the school environment doesn't tend to reward them. This can have a major impact on self esteem. From my experience, many teachers tend to treat introvert kids as 'other', as abnormal instead of accepting they just don't learn as well in group environments. It is the same in employment - if you are energised when working with groups of people, networking, getting your voice heard in meetings and so on, you are usually looked upon more favourably than the sort who tends to solve problems and get tasks done by being in their own space and are energised by 'alone' time.

The whole debate isn't introvert versus extrovert at all. It's the idea that introverts have something to offer, versus the previous prevailing idea that introverts were weird as fuck and needed to become extroverts.

I'm an introvert but I'm with you OP. Daily memes about how they "so weird" because they don't like answering the phone, like sleeping in and are awkward meeting new people. Nope that's just being human, nothing weird about any of it.

I'd say there are more introverts out there than extroverts, so I don't know why people think they are misunderstood.

What I perceive...

MNers make more of a meal of extrovert/introvert than anyone I know IRL does. I'll agree that introverts are louder online of which I am probably a good example (!) I don't relate to claims made on MN that introverts can't handle crowds or noisy people; that isn't how one defines introvert although I do marvel at how extrovert DS can talk non-stop.

Some MNers have huge hang up about introverts being hard by. I perceive the opposite is more often true: that introverts are rewarded constantly everywhere and always have been. The kids who can't control themselves and want lots of interaction get in trouble at school constantly. The tall poppies attract criticism. Reliable quiet workers are well-appreciated & consistently rewarded but noisy ideas people get seen as high maintenance, irritating & attract resentment. It's relentless.

fwiw, I don't know nowadays if I'm I or E. I get different results every time I take a MyersBrigg test. I think I'm introvert, was definitely very introverted as a child (my parents gave me a lot of grief for it) and yet still always thought my type had the easiest time in life.

As for the above examples, literally no one (introvert, extrovert, mix of both) likes ice breaker games, public speaking or open plan offices. Can you imagine someone got a promotion to an office and turned it down "no thanks, I'm an extrovert".

@RaisinGhost oh the memes yes! “Only fellow introverts will understand...” then something perfectly normal like “the joy of getting home and putting the kettle on”.

Also despite the “recharging by being alone/with people” - hands up who doesn’t need say some time to themselves if they go on a group holiday for a week.

Do you also claim All Lives Matter?

I like that JuniperFather.

For decades, maybe centuries introverts have been labelled the weird ones. Finally there's been a bit of a rethink and introverts are being valued for what they can bring to the party (in the kitchen of course).

Vive la revolution!

For what it's worth I think introverts have had a harder time in the US, rather than the UK (where I'm from).

@knittingaddict As a Brit currently living in the US, I’d agree with you. I’d describe myself as an “extroverted introvert” in that I like socializing but need that alone time to recharge. I’ve had to become far more outgoing to fit in over here- but when I go home to the UK, I realize that I seem really extroverted compared with many people! It’s the level of enthusiasm that’s different, I now go up to people with a big smile and say “Hello, how are you?” in typical American style and they seem amazed that I’m so pleased to see them.🤣