Asked to put preferred pronouns on email signature

[Ermokthen]

Just had an email from team leader following a diversity workshop that she’d like us all to put our preferred pronouns on our email signatures, as this was a suggested take home action.

Other members of team already responded, some enthusiastically, others clearly not bothered and just going along with team leader.

I really don’t want to do this and have no idea how to respond without being targeted as any number of negative things. Help please...

But just so I can sense check - aibu not to want to put she/her etc after my (very feminine and not to be confused otherwise) name on my email signature?

I've seen this on an email I received recently. Wouldn't bother me at all.

In what I hope is the unlikely event we get this drivel, I will accidentally forget to do it until someone confronts me about it. Then I will cave in because I am a fucking coward.

I've never ever known anyone to put this.
I work alone (freelance) but in emails from clients I find that it's becoming more and more common.

I agree with this poster's suggestion: I am happy for people to use whichever pronouns they prefer when speaking about me in the third person. I will therefore not be expressing a preference.

Is "She Who Must Be Obeyed " an option (one for Rumpole fans)

I think your manager has missed the point here, if you are comfortable do it, if not dont. Diversity & inclusion should be about creating circumstances in the workplace where everyone irrespective of gender, sexual orientation , race, religion or hair colour protected or non protected characteristics is able to be open about who they are & is valued for the skills & qualities they bring to the workplace. D&I isn't a tickbox exercise & any insistence on providing specific information in this way may well be counter productive

Goingdownto it’s funny isn’t it how when women point out the reality of misogyny and sexism in the world we're apparently fuelling a mistaken fantasy of ourselves as “downtrodden women“, but when biologically male trans people talk about the horrific rates of transphobia (a great deal of which seems to consist of being “misgendered”), they are in fact the most oppressed, marginalised minority ever, and injustice to them simply cannot be countenanced.

I wouldn't do it.

But I've also seen people put 'cis' at the end of an email, which I think is even worse.

I was a bit surprised at the contempt tbh!

I couldn't give a toss what pronouns people refer to me by. In this case I would list the whole lot (he/him/she/her/they/them etc) and let people pick from that.

@bellinisurge

In what I hope is the unlikely event we get this drivel, I will accidentally forget to do it until someone confronts me about it. Then I will cave in because I am a fucking coward.

If the company are doing if for inclusivity then surely they have to be inclusive to those employees who rejected pronouns altogether and therefore wish to just be referred to as their name. It cannot be inclusive to force someone to declare a pronoun. As I said before, just say you find it triggering and they will leave you alone.

@VitreousHumour

I would definitely not do this. You are being forced to agree with an ideology that states that men are innately 'masculine', women are innately feminine, and anyone who refuses that restrictive box must be in the wrong body. Rather than just refusing that box.

This

Forcing people to subscribe to any ideological beliefs is sinister, and to this particular one that is so damaging to you yourself as a woman... definitely chilling.

It bothers me because of my fear of being placed in a gender restrictive cage.
It bothers me that people who use such language are almost certainly comfortable with the concept of gender stereotypes, so could likely be making incorrect assumptions about me. It shouts " misogynistic and proud"

I work alone (freelance) but in emails from clients I find that it's becoming more and more common.

Same. I roll my eyes and make a mental note that this person is either woketastic or afraid of their woketastic boss.

@midgebabe

I work for a major engineering company that always strives to treat women and men equally. And whenever they run any analysis to show this, they realise it still isn't working.

Yes, I hear that a lot midgebabe.

It’s almost as if it’s going to take quite a lot of time and effort, more than a couple of decades for sure, to reverse the effects of (at least) several millennia of male domination the world over.

I don't have any gender and I prefer people don't use any pronouns about me.

I wouldn't do this.

To hose saying it's not an issue it is.

I have a sexually ambiguous name.

It's absolutely noticeable how people (in different offices) correspond with me once they know I'm female.

There have been a number of studies that back this up.

Aside from this why is it needed?

The trans people I have worked with (perhaps unsurprisingly) have very obviously male/female names.

So in essence you're asking everyone to accommodate a load of non binary snowflakes who have no skin in the game whatsoever, insofar they make no changes to their life/body other than demanding other people call them "they or ze" and seem to think they have some sort of special status by appropriating (at no cost to themselves) the struggles of people who are actually discriminated against....

So many good posts
I can guarantee that the next step after imposing / compelling people to use pronouns will be claims of literal violence, hate speech and demands for people to be sacked from the narcissists pushing for this (and always aimed at low status workers and women, never at the MD / CEO)

@GCAcademic

Two options.

Tell them you have no wish to draw further attention to your sex, given that women are already discriminated against in the workplace.

Or say that you find this all very triggering and that are not able to discuss it until you have worked through some personal issues.

This.

I would definitely not do it.

Other people are allowed to do it on the sole grounds that they feel more comfortable doing so and it helps them to express their identity. You have the same grounds for not doing so. It's fucking ridiculous to force people to do it, as it would be to prevent them doing it if they wanted to. Ffs!

Employers have no legal right to force anyone to put preferred pronouns on their emails, you can refuse and you don’t have to give any reason unless you want to. An interesting blog on the pronouns problem here:

fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

@Ultimatecougar

I couldn't give a toss what pronouns people refer to me by. In this case I would list the whole lot (he/him/she/her/they/them etc) and let people pick from that.

^This

Or I would change them every couple of days for a month (obviously after I've googled the obscure ones). Then I would remove them all saying it's clear I don't know what gender I identify and as a visible ethnic minority this is clearly more Western cultural imperialism.

I do not see why this is appropriate in the workplace. If others wish to openly gender themselves, great. I am there to work and I do not need to disclose my preferred pronouns to do so. In the same way, I do not discuss politics at work, this kind of thing should remain private.

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages

Why wouldn't you just do it?

I once worked with a (cisgender) woman called Jamie. She put pronouns in her signature just because she was bored of getting emails assuming she was a bloke.

I have no idea what 'cisgender' is even meant to mean. I worked with a woman called Jayme. And I have a male friend called Jayme. I'm pleased to say that neither has ever felt it necessary to express their preferred pronouns.

I long for the days of Marc Bolan , David Bowie and Boy George. You know, when people weren't constrained by ridiculously narrow sexist ideology of what men and women were.

Highlighting your sex in a work context exposes women to discrimination, so no, I would not be putting my pronouns in my email signature. Any other protected characteristics they'd like to see highlighted in there? How about mental health status, or disabilities? Also, it doesn't actually help the people it's supposed to help. If someone is unsure about how they identify, what the heck are they supposed to put?

Also, it does literally take extra effort to do it. You have to literally go into your email signature and literally change it

Loving this “new” meaning of the word literally, I hope it catches on